It's difficult I'm sure. I've never had to go through what you have, but have helped to coach some people through it! Going to Curves, or a gym in the off hours, or one that just has a women only section, is always a good idea. Although women can stare sometimes too, so yes, you have to just block them out!
Now the next suggestion I'm going to make will sound prepostorous, but trust me!!! Here it is:
WATER AEROBICS
Yes the thought of a swimsuit is the last thing you want. But: most aquarobics classes are filled with women only. Most of the women are overweight and have chosen it because it is very low to zero impact. ALL of the women are in the water, where nobody can really tell their size or shape. It is an excellent workout and you only have to worry about the walk on the pool deck for 5 seconds. Besides, hardly anyone likes how they look in a swimsuit, so they aren't going to hang around on deck judging you!

Best of Luck!!! You can do it!!!

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