February 17th, 2007, 11:17 PM
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| Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 210
Rep Power: 10 | |
*Sighs* I've been keeping up with my calories, have kept them mainly below 1,300. I haven't really exercised...at all. I'll do it after surgery. That and we've been snowed in for four days. I've had some sorta weird period that made me bloat up to 284, but I'm back down to 280.5. That makes me feel a bit better. I feel like my face is getting slimmer. It's probably my imagination, but when I feel around my neck I can feel my collar bone a lot more (now, just to get it to surface, heh) and my neck seems slimmer and it seems like things are becoming more defined. I don't know, I could be imagining it. I hope I'm not. I was pretty happy about being at 280.5lbs...n then a guy had to ruin it for me.
A guy I dated for three years, then whom he kept up with talking to me for another year (4 years marked of friendship on Vday and he didn't even aknowledge it) that he liked me, was attracted to me, wanted to see me. Turns out, he likes this other girl, only wanted me for, well, other reasons. And that he wanted a skinny girl, a girl he can be proud of, who is skinny and beautiful.
There went my proudness of losing that weight. I don't eat when upset though. Which is good. (Ever since I was little, if I was yelled at or got upset, I got sick and lost all sense of wanting food, heh).
I don't know whether or not to be proud of this; but about two years ago I bought three sports bras (they came in a pack) and I could not fit them. They were waaay to small. (I'm talking bandwise, since they don't really have cup sizes) and they are a 38. I was always a 42D, I can't remember ever being a B or a C. I'm kinda happy bout this, but at the same time, I happen to be rather...attached to my breasts and would really like to keep them. I suppose I have to look at it this way...lose weight, be healthy, cope with a B or C or stay fat and keep my D's. I'd kill to lose weight, so, I'll take my loses =( Look at me, going on about something that shouldn't really matter. Heh.
I also don't understand....my pants feel tighter. The jeans that I took my pictures in, feel tight in the waist, BUT I've lost weight....and they weren't tight when I had taken those pictures in the pictures section. So I don't know if the scales are lying to me or if I'm getting fatter. Everyone says "Determine by your clothing" how do you do that when the scale says I'm losing but the pants say I'm just fat?
I'm not in a good mood. Not at all. And if this all sounds like whining..well, that's not my intention, I'm just frusterated and a bit more then hurt.  |
