The point is to stop and think about what you're thinking about. Something hardly anyone does.

Routines... habits...

They all come from programmed thought patterns established over a lifetime. Said programming tends to fly 'under the radar' unless consciously made apparent.

That's my point. Dig deeper than saying, "it's routine."

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos

Ok. In my case, I didn't want to try because I was afraid of failure. I know how stupid that is because not trying in itself is failing.

__________________

After reading this thread I just wanted to post my two cents worth. I have been working through figuring out some of my obstacles and what throws me off and being tired and then eating junk is definitely one of them. Alot of people eat when they are tired, pretty common. Being unorganized and poor planning is the other. We all get busy so gotta plan for that. My goal right now is to get as organized as possible and have things prepared ahead and on hand to make things as easy as possible. So my advice is to find some time somewhere and have back up meals on hand that are quick to fix so we eat those instead of junk or fast food.

And as for getting bored with healthy food I used to feel that way too until I figured out that I just wasn't putting enough thought and creativity into my eating plan. I research online to find new recipes all the time because I know if I get busy and don't plant that I'll fall into eating the same crap it won't be long until I'm disatisfied and off my diet. Which incidently is what recently happened, lol. I'm preaching to myself here for sure.

Anyway I've found alot of good advice for stuff in this forum and what I'm doing this time is cutting stuff up ahead for quick access. I bought Debbie Reynolds bags so I don't have to run to the store every day or open my fridge only to grab rotten veggies. I'm also going to be cooking up a bunch of stuff ahead to have on hand and making sure I have back up meals and stuff I like to eat instead when a craving hits. I used to also do my own freezer cooking and have whole meals I'd just throw in the oven so I'm working on planning that out too.

We all get the temptations to jump off our routines and plans, trick is to plan for that as well. Then to also be aware we're human and sometimes even with planning we're going to screw up sometimes and just start over...sooner than later. I definitely need to get that one down. I screw up and need to learn to get right back on my plan the next day, not months later. But like Steve said...how bad do I really want this? I've been asking myself that lately and I think I'm going to poster size that and hang that question around my house, lol.

I know I'm not posting anything new here that hasn't been said a million times in this forum or even in this thread. Thats why I love this forum is I learn so much from all of you . Speaking of which one thing I see people doing that I'm going to start doing is when I DO eat junk, instead of giving myself the license to go off my plan entirely so I see it as having to "restart" at all, I'm going to account for it by balancing the slip up with extra exercise. Such an obvious simple idea...what can I say but I have a gift for missing the obvious.

__________________

That's quite common in actuality. Obviously this is an extremely complex subject. I've spent most of my life researching fitness and nutrition and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on those subjects.

I've spent an equal time on human behavior and I'm nowhere near as well versed in that area. It's just so dynamic and individual.

That said though, I like to keep things simple and break them down into usable thoughts. Like pain and pleasure; I've used this thought process quite a bit in some of my posts in here.

We all act based on two things: 1) The need to avoid pain and 2) The desire to gain pleasure.

And this very real and understandable concept, simple as it seems, is quite powerful. In many situations it isn't cut and dry. For instance, in some cases it's a matter of choosing between the lesser of two evils (pains). But the fact is these two forces dictate a vast majority of our choices, regardless of whether or not we're conscious of it or not.

To 'grab hold' of the concept consciously and really do some digging and rearranging internally can make all the difference in the world in terms of someone succeeding or not.

This concept is closely related to perception; we all know how perception is our own reality. Perception can make or break someone dead in their tracks.

Without rambling on too much, which I may have done already, your particular case is common in that many people never put enough thought into something they want to accomplish, they never take that (what seems to be a giant) step into progression toward their desires. They avoid doing so b/c of their fear of pain. They don't want to fail. They're afraid of the unknown. What if I succeed yet I'm still unhappy? Maybe it's a matter of having to find yourself a new identity. Some people are too concerned about what others will think if they embark on a journey such as this. For others it's a case of admitting they were wrong all along and the pain of owning up to that idea and actually having to change because of it is too great.

I could go on and on.

But the fact remains the pain you have associated with conquering your desires far outweighs the pleasure you think said desires will bring. More notably, that pleasure that you know the obtainment of your goals/desires will bestow aren't as real as the pain you have linked to the change.

I've used this philosophy with quite a few of my clients to 'enlighten' them. I find it's a good way to help people think about what they're thinking about. It's a small tool... one of many.

Once these sorts of associations are identified, you can begin tweaking your perceptions. You can consciously link a ton of pleasure to that which you want and a ton of pain to that which you don't want. There all sorts of rituals, habits, tasks, etc that help solidify these new links, and once solidified, the choices you had trouble making before become a whole lot easier.

In a nutshell, it's a matter of redirecting your focus. What you focus on most is what you'll get. That's such a powerful concept that I've found to be so true.

I'll stop now but thought it a worthy thread to yap a bit on this subject.

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos

Wow...what a profound statement. I don't think I've ever seen that worded better than the way you put it. And it sure makes a whole lot more sense than that "somewhere deep down you WANT to be fat" crap, which I really do not buy into.

Anyway your statement really hits home with me for the simple reason that my goals do not seem real to me because I have never been thin, at least not that I remember. I've seen pictures when I was around 4 and my mom had put me on atkins even back then, but other than that all my pics are me pudgy or fat. So for me when I put myself through all the stuff that goes along with making changes, in the back of my mind there's always the question as to whether my goal is even attainable. I know it's illogical but I do have that fear that its not possible for me to be thin.

I think that and the simple fact that the few times I have managed to lose any kind of wait for a short period of time only to gain it back makes it that much harder and only cements the fear in. But I guess thats everyone as far as that part goes. I just hope that I can find the magic combination this time so I can stick with it long term and not put in the effort only to undo all my hard work being a stupido, lol.

__________________

That's this philosophy playing out picture perfect, to be honest. Your fear of the unknown and your fear of failure is far more real to you than any pleasure you could possibly mentally attach to your goals. That is, if you don't take conscious control of your habitual thought patterns.

One of the first thing I do with clients who have been struggling for years trying to lose weight is simple... for two weeks, I have them right down their thoughts in relation to losing weight and healthy living. The first few days is usually tough. I'm lucky if they write down 5 thoughts when you know damn well their weight and their desire is on their minds far more than 5 times per day.

The tricky part is, though, that monitoring your internal dialog is tough. It's tough b/c for most of us it's entirely on autopilot. We're in a state of reaction, reacting to what our unconscious minds are programmed to do. It's not a matter of being mentally lazy. It's a matter of being completely mentally ignorant to the things you're saying to yourself. That voice that guides each and every one of your decisions. You simply haven't developed an ear for it, is all. And because of this, your choices are already determined.... along with your destiny for the most part.

If you've been told or if you've thought your entire life that you're fat and will always be fat... guess what? Without mentally, consciously intervening... your mind is programmed to keep you fat. Simple as that.

That's why identifying your habitual, internal dialog is critical. The writing down part of it is insanely critical. If you don't put pen to paper, chances are very good that you won't actually visualize the thought. And if you don't visualize it, you can't mold it.

Once everything is identified, the perception Joe Client has about losing weight and living healthy becomes astonishingly clear. At this point you can start separating the pain thoughts from the pleasure thoughts. Does this pain-link propel you toward your goal or drive you away.

A pain-link that would drive you toward your goal, for example, would be, "If I don't lose weight I will never know the pleasure of wearing this sexy outfit I've had hanging in my closet forever." Or it could be even simpler than that; "Gorging on snacks while watching television is painful in the context of my emotionally backed, ultimate goals simply b/c it takes me further from them."

A pain-link that drives you away from your goal, for example, would be, "I've tried a million times to lose weight and the bottom line is I've always wound up as fat or fatter than when I started... nothing is going to work." Or even simpler; "Leading this lifestyle is going to cost me X, Y, and Z and I love X, Y, and Z."

And pleasure... pleasure sounds great but your pleasure-links can make or break you in similar ways as your pain-links. For instance, what if you link ultimate pleasure to lazy weekends, chocolate, eating a box of cookies, etc, etc? The very thought of healthy living is in direct contradiction and you're automatically setting yourself up for failure... simply put, I guarantee that b/c of these uncontrolled ultimate pleasure links the very thought of healthy living is painful b/c it means paying with your loves. Who wants to give up their loves?

And it can be extremely complex. For one variable you can have multiple pain-associations and multiple pleasure-associations. The identification and analysis of said variable is the tricky part. The obvious thing is that how that variable will pan out in real life depends on what associations, pain or pleasure, are most real to you. Which ones are obvious and logical to you given the context of your habitual, unconscious mind. And it's important to note that what's logical in this light may not be logical at all in another.

There are a million ways you can analyze this and for some, it can be very profound and life-changing. Last I checked thoughts become realities. What you think about most often and how you think about it tends to lead to the actual strokes of the paintbrush, so to speak. If you're trying to pain a lush, green field and the only color in your palette (mind) is purple... guess what? You're not going to get very far on that painting.

And that's what most do in life. Something happens where they become consciously aware of the fact they want to lose weight and get healthy. They no longer fit in a pair of pants they love. They see an old friend who lost a ton of weight and looks great. They develop a weight-related illness. They can't run around with their children like they used to and they realize the harsh reality that if nothing changes it's only going to get worse. On and on and on.

And when these sorts of realizations are made, they take action. What they don't realize though is that they are trying to paint a lush, green field with purple paint. Unless you change the unconscious... what you are consciously trying to do isn't going to work. Sure, it might lead to some positive movement. You might lose some weight... even a good bit. But more often than not, your acute realizations from above are not strong enough to completely re-wire your unconscious... to completely change the way you perceive life.

Then again, for some, they simply make up their mind to accomplish something and they do it. But that's extremely rare in my experience.

This is getting way too long and I'd actually like it if some people read this so I'll stop here.

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos

i think you had talked about something similar here..

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/club/...-my-group.html

__________________

Oh thanks for linking that... that's from long ago.

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos

age doesnt it any less relevant

you've always been pretty good with words..

__________________

Thanks Mal.

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos

Steve, I think you're right that I'm a straightforward case here. I know what I have definite patterns of excuses for not getting started at all and once I'm started on a routine there's more excuses until I'm completely off track. Sometimes I'm aware of it, sometimes not but when I look in my weightloss diary I see alot of "good intentions" and not as much follow through. People thought I was so positive when really I think I was trying to talk myself into following through when I felt myself slipping.

Anyway I'd like to do that two week keeping track of my thoughts and would appreciate any more advice you can give me along the way to reprogram my thinking patterns. Knowing I'm doing it and knowing what to do to change it are two different things. So when I right down my thoughts on weight and healthy living, would that include me doing or not doing something that I realize after is linked to my being overweight even if I don't realize it at the time? I'm guessing that'd be a yes but I was hoping for a few examples. I feel bad bugging you because I know you usually get paid for your advice but you took the time to type all that so I also know you don't mind helping. Let me know if I become a pest, thanks ~Lisa

__________________

Oh and thanks Mal for reposting that link, I went through and read it. I had talked myself into shopping tomorrow but after reading that I realize I really just need to go today....that was actually word for word in his post, lol.

__________________

Okay, you're a pest.

Stop.



Just teasing!

I do get paid as a trainer. But you said I usually get paid for my advice. That's a negative. I give far more advice on forums (free) than I do with my business. Because that's what I love to do. So don't sweat it.

Don't over-think the though-tracking. When you have a thought about this lifestyle, write it down. Simple as that. Good, bad, nuetral... whatever. The hardest part is actually developing the 'ear' simply b/c so many of these thoughts were born a long, long time ago. They seem as natural as your heart beat. And I bet you don't pay attention to that very often.

Work on developing the ability to listen and then work on identifying.

You could jump start the process by writing down thoughts/ideas you are already aware of. None of us are completely clueless. We have some of our thoughts identified. So jot them down.

And then listen for more.

__________________
My Blog -- My Journal -- My Photos