Welcome to journaling.
You have to ask yourself how badly you want it. I mean, going into the
gym and doing "whatever" and eating "so-so" is obviously NOT going to carry you toward your goals.
I don't mean to sound rude, I promise.
But on more than one occasion, I've found people needing a "wake-up" call. They have these great goals. But they don't walk the walk. This moment is what counts. Sure, it is great to want something in the future, but this moment is where you take the actions that lead to the things you want in the future.
Small steps take you to where you want to be.
I suggest setting up some form of organized exercise regimen that includes a combination of weight training and
cardio. If you search around the forum a bit, you will find some excellent advice. I think TomO made a post which is a compilation of a lot of useful posts. I think it is a stickie in the "weight-loss through exercise" thread.
Nutritionally, I would focus figuring out how many
calories you are consuming each day. The times that you eat is NOT as important as how much you are eating. So first thing first, try and get a grip on the number of cals you consume on the average day.
If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask.
