Hey girls,
Well, things aren't the best right now. I had a couple of real good days this past week, however, last night was not good at all. I work at a school and it was the grade 12 grad last night. I was supposed to go, I was even supposed to help set up. It was gonna be lots of fun. I tried on a number of dresses from my closet, no surprise they didn't fit anymore. So I went to the mall and tried on a bunch of dresses there, alone, because I don't have any close friends in this city. I even bought those 'suck-you-in-underwear/shorts' it didn't seem to help much either. Oh it was not fun. And time was ticking away. (See I only decided to go last minute so I was shopping the day of grad.) I knew I had to get in the shower and by that time I couldn't wait to get out of the mall as I was fighting back tears. So I went home, crying all the way. When I got home I didn't know what to do and I felt so crappy. So I just sat down and zoned out with the TV and waited for the time to pass until I didn't have to go anymore. It passed. But then I felt even worse, I let my weight get in the way of a good time, oh its not the first time all year I've let my weight get in the way of good times. But this time I realized I had to face all of my co-workers on Monday with questions "oh what happened to you?". I called my sister for some support, had a real good cry and felt better. But it was a shitty, shitty day! Today I feel alright, only because I am packing up my apartment and it will take the entire day, a welcomed excuse not to have to get dressed and go out. I seriously do not enjoy getting ready, every day when I get up and go to work I try to find something to wear that works and hopefully disguises some of my
weight gain, gone are the days when I enjoyed getting ready and picking out outfits. I hate this! I'm sick of it and I'm going to turn these feelings into motivation. I don't want to feel like this anymore!
