calitoker90: I know, I always remind myself that i've lost more weight then this before.
bgdave4: Yea, I shouldn't be so hard on myself about my
weight loss but it's just really hard being patient while losing weight. After going from 240 down to 190 I felt like I was living in a different world. People I had known for years looked at me differently. It was like they respected me more then when I was
fat. I was wearing clothes I actually liked, instead of just wearing baggy clothes to hide how big I was. Girls that I had grown up with who had always thought of me "like a brother" were being flirty with me and hanging on me and some I even made out with. I wasn't ashamed to take my shirt off to go swimming. I could go to public places and not wonder if people were making fun of my "man boobs". I lost that world when I gained most of the weight back. I found myself back in the not so great world I had known for most of my life. I went back to being "like a brother" to all those girls. I avoid having to take my shirt off in front of people. Constant anxiety worrying about people making fun of me for having "man boobs". All those clothes I bought don't fit me anymore, they just sit in my closet. I think the worst thing though is realizing how vain and shallow people really are about appearance. That is why I get so mad at myself for getting off track on my
weight loss.
There are 2 moments in my life that sum up how I feel when i'm overweight and how I feel when i'm at my ideal weight.
In 6th grade when a girl told me I had "man boobs" in the cafeteria before school started one day and everyone started laughing.
and
Summer after my freshman year in college at my friends pool when a girl said wow sam you have pecks and everyone else there agreed and made comments about how "toned" I looked.
I'll never forget how hurt and depressed I was after that first moment
and how big a smile on my face and how happy I was after the second one.
It feels good to get that out! Anyways I did 2.98 miles at resistance lvl. 10 in 30 minutes on the elliptical today. I got work at 6 in the morning so I better get to bed now.
