Here's a bit from one of my experiences. When I was a Freshman in college I ballooned up to my (then) heaviest weight of 245 lbs. I was having a difficult time with my girlfriend (she wanted out) and she decided that she would spend the summer away as a camp counsellor. So I went to live with my Sister and Brother-in-law, far away from home, helping them to fix up an old house they had purchased.

They let me stay for some of my labor and I got a job for some cash. My Sis and BIL are very trim and healthy, runners, cross-country skiers, health food folk. They convinced me to try to take the summer as an opportunity to get healthy and lose weight. So I did. With their help and support I lost a lot of weight. They were very proud of me. When I got back to College I weighed 184. Everybody was dazzled by the change, it was like a sudden change to them because at the end of may I was my fat, jovial self, then the next time they saw me (late August) I was at my ideal weight.

After everybodies initial positive reactions there was a weird time when nobody seemed comfortable around me. Here's what some of the comments were when I got home.

Mother and Sisters: "You look too thin, like you've been sick"

My Fat, Dweeb Male Friends: "You don't look like you anymore, I don't know how to relate to you."

My Hot Women Friends: "We can't study/lunch/shoot-the-breeze together anymore, because my boyfriend doesn't believe something isn't going on between us...when you were fat he trusted me." (That one hurt).

My Thin, Handsome Best Friend: "You've changed, it used to be like you were my sidekick, my Costello, my Sancho Panza, my fat friend that by comparison made me look good...now you are competition."

The worst, as it turned out was my girlfriend who was suddenly very into me. That was the most hurtful because it belied how little she cared for me, apart from appearences. Of course I only see THAT in retrospect. (I married and later divorced her.)

But everybody treated me differently, cashiers flirted with me, my friends didn't know how to take me any more. Of course I got lots of attention, but a whole new set of problems. I'd be fibbing if I said that's why I quickly gained even more weight back. That had more to do with being out of the supportive environment than anything, but I've never forgotten how the experience of suddenly being thin was very different from how I had imagined it to be.

So I sort of understand how women must feel, using fat as a shield. It works really good! It takes a lot of courage to step out from behind the obesity and deal with all of the many reactions that people around you will have. But I'm willing to give it another try!

David C