Well, I guess this is the best place to start in my journal. For, I am changing my life. Starting over again after almost 10 years. I will forever miss my mother. As well as my father. I have to remember that I am still a young woman and need to focus on living life to the fullest. The biggest question is HOW??? How do you live life to the fullest? How do you do this when the most important people in your life are all deceased. How do you get past the pain to finally live.

Also, I think with being this obesed I am definately not living my life at the potential that I could be. Sometimes, I feel that I can't go on. That I can't push past what has happened to my mother and I. Getting past what has been stolen from my family. I feel overwhelmed with grieving most days. Then other times I feel very strong.

It is hard to get started in my life. But, I know that my mother would want me to live my life, and be successful in my personal endeavors. So, this is where my weight loss plays an important part of my success in life. I have put everyone above myself for the most part. And, now it times to start taking care of me. It's hard to do this for I am not use to giving myself full attention.

Eating:

I don't know if I have truly made up my mind to change. I believe that I have. I know there will be times that I will not stick to my plan. I must look at myself as a temple. Something that is sacred. I know that I am the only one that can make my dreams come true. I AM my future. I am the only one that can get the job done. So, of this I must remind myself everyday. It is only I that can make the lasting changes in my life. And, the support of others will help me along the journey to get there.

Well, I will be back later to record what I am eating for the day. It's time to get to bed.. Wow, is after midnight and already a brand new day..

Goodnight.