Hi Jellybellyjean,

I'm so sorry to hear about the lost of your mother. I think it's the worst thing that can happen to a person. My mother was 69 when she died. She died 10 days after my birthday. I remember her taking her last breath to sing me and my sister happy birthday. The next few days she was then on the respirator. She was in the hospital for 2 1/2 months then died in April of Septicemia.

Thank you for the beautiful thoughts. I do hear my mother in my laughter and things that I say or do. I miss her very much. Her death was unexpected also. Her physican if you can call him that, left a dirty cathethar inside of her and it gave her Sepsis. I still can't believe that she is gone. You are right she is my first love and first heartbreak. I love my mother so much. I feel her with me everyday. She is always in my thoughts.

I know she has always desired for me to lose the wieght. I know I have always wanted to. Today, makes three consecutive days of exercise on the treadmill. I have set a goal to get up each morning and exercise and focus on eating small meals no more than 1500 calories daily. I weigh in every Wednesday morning. I can see a difference and how I look already. I really need to find a healthy eating buddy that is eating this way also. I think it will help me stay focused. I am doing my part and reinforcement can be a life saver.

I look forward to knowing you. I will try my best to log on each day. This is a commitment to myself and others for moral support.