PEAR-SHAPED GAL’S LAMENT
Well I’m a lovely gal who’s shaped just like a pear
From what I see on TV, it must be pretty rare.
I’d really rather be a sexy figure-eight
With a top to match my bottom, wow that would be great!
But that won’t likely happen with my poor little size C’s
My derriere’s so ample, they’d have to be Double G’s!
I’m counting
calories, exercising, drinking like a fish
So how long is it going to take until I get my wish?
I’m a wreck when pants shopping; it’s just a cruel game
‘Cuz I can’t find any that will fit THIS frame!
A tiny waist is great, but what about my thighs?
To fit up over them, I need an Uber-size!
So they finally fit my butt, but my poor waist is a swimmin’
But one day soon I know, those hips will be a trimmin’!
Pear versus apple, I think it’s all a little fruity -
I’d just like to carry less of my own sweet booty
So here’s to all the pear-shaped gals, bound by our odd shape
If all else fails, don’t lose hope - just use some Duct Tape!
