End of the second day. *deep breath*
I did work out on the elliptical today for another twenty minutes.
I had some coleslaw, fruit, and a small portion of lean ham with a tablespoon of barbecue sauce on it for lunch. I had two snacks in the afternoon--two crackers thinly spread with soynut butter and later a little less than a quarter cup of cashews.
For dinner, I made some polenta to soothe the really fierce carb cravings I'd been having. Does anyone have a way to get past the sheer, overwhelming desire for empty carbs? I've been fantasizing about polenta and pasta and potatoes and breads and bread puddings and rice puddings and...oh, every kind of terrible thing. In any event, I only ate half the polenta I made, which wasn't too much. It was a reasonable portion. On top of it I had some spinach and shrimp.
Finally, I made myself a cup of coffee with a little (much less than usual) sugar and some skim milk. It's...well, I'm sure I'll get used to it. I shall have nothing else before bed (I hope).
I hesitated, while packing my lunch for tomorrow, on whether to include my usual single chocolate. I finally decided to put it in because it forms such a central part of my lunch-packing experience (which generally only happens twice a week), and I knew I would feel very deprived without it.
Still 287 on the scales, but I shall hope for better things. I'm actually...I don't know how I feel about this. I feel at once frantic at the thought of not being able to eat all that I want (and don't want, very often), and yet I also feel as though I'm not
dieting nearly strictly enough to see significant results. Yet I feel that if I restricted my food any more than I have done, I'd be a basket case inside a week. Besides, I really am consuming far fewer
calories than I normally would, as well as exercising far more. Since I haven't been gaining weight, doing this ought surely to make me lose weight. But then why do I feel so guilty over (relatively) small things like the mayonnaise in the coleslaw or the teaspoon of butter in the polenta?
