LMAO! As a former waitress, I can appreciate this post.
Here's a tip on tipping--if you get a discount on your bill, whether via coupon or birthday deal, etc--don't subtract that discount from the tip. The server still served you the food and shouldn't get stiffed b/c of it. Like a buy one dinner get one free--don't tip for just the one dinner. Add extra for the one you ate but didn't pay for.
Don't blame your server for the kitchen's screw up and take it out of their tip. If you have an issue with your food that isn't your server's fault--take it up with management.
If you're in a restaurant with your children, don't let them run around. Not only do they drive other diners crazy, they could run into a server carrying a heavy tray full of hot food that could land on top of your brat.
One last thing--If
I'm your waitress, feel free to spank me--just don't pinch.
