nataliejo,

Your right, you know exactly what worked for you before, and you can get back in the groove! That's really great with all the walking keep up the good work!!! That's great you are going to push the two pound a week challendge. I'm to scared to do the challendges, maybe I'll get brave enough soon.

I think what I said about "your not your past", may have been misunderstood. So I'm sorry I just said a statment like that, I didn't think it could be looked at in a way I didn't mean, but I was wrong...

What I ment by that, is for me, it's a great statment. Yes our pasts shapes us, both good and bad. And personaly even with really crapy situations, I try very very hard to find some positive meaning for them. And I seem to be able to do this, every time. Something, even if it's that I'm wiser for it happening (which in the end, is the biggest greatest gift from life!) What's really cool though, is we don't have to repeat the past. I totaly agree with looking at the past, analizing it (though I tend to over analize), learning from it. But I really like the idea that, allthough I was x,y,z last year, or YESTERDAY, I don't have to be x,y,z today. So you have a chance, in the present and future to live life, a life that is unshaped as of yet...

I totaly need this, I have to tell myself this now, because like you Nat, I get caught up in past circles. These past six years have been ridiculouse, it's rediculouse that it's been six years! The only reason my life has been pritty much totaly stagnet (we are talking personal life here, not my kids growing, learning etc,just me) is because the tape in my head of the past i.e. my short comings, my husbands shortcomings. Promises, hopes, failures, dreams, expectations, lies, etc etc.. Over and over and over going as a mater of fact I was torchuring myself with this just before I got on this board and luckly totaly had to laugh because everyone is so silly. (thank GOD!)...

I even play the tape in my head over and over of last week verses this moment in my really screawed up no point now unforchunatly relationship. I really like the idea that we aren't our past, because we can redefine ourselves. Keep the good stuff, learn from the "bad", and be fearless. I am tired of holding myself back. I have no reason now, no "excuse" not to sucseed with everything and anything I want to. Except me, and fear. I'm practising being something I am not, which is fearless.

I'm sorry I just made a remark like that without an explaination, of what I ment.