You dont look that overly hugely
fat, you must be either tall or darned lucky!
To be honest it sounds like you are looking for excuses to be
fat and having eating disorders etc. You keep doing these 'all or nothing' stupid diets that you cant stick with and then beat yourself up when you cant stick to them.
Ever tried just eating a little bit differently and cutting out things slowly here and there or swapping things for lower calorie versions? its a plan for life, its not a 'diet' . Otherwise you are just going to re-gain the weight again as soon as you go off it.
Then you repeat the whole putting yourself down because you suck and you fail etc and cant control eating because you binge because you denied yourself so much, and then you regain, and then jump onto another silly hard out
diet you cant stick with. Eventually talking yourself into having some (imaginary?) eating disorder.
