Hi All. Thanks again - especially to Cookiequeen. I wanted to write something here that I never thought I would end up saying! I went to a naturopath.. bit of a last desperate bid at getting some help, but she is a freind of mine. What this meant is that she knew a bit more about my history than my doctor - who just gave the easy cop-out answer: "its all in your mind". apologies to those of you who wrote that too, but that really is a cop out becuase _what_ exactly is in the mind? what does it symbolise etc etc.. such issues are deeper than a throwaway comment.
Anyway - this naturopath asked me if i would do her a favour and give up taking Aspartam (artificial sweetener) and use honey or somethign instead. I was seriously loath to do this as it meant just more calories. But i agreed to give it a week and expected only to gain more weight (but hey - i am used to that now!). To my utter surprise, my hunger faded. I felt much more satisfied with 1800 calories. So i manage to stick to the 1800 - 1900 mark and am not so stressfully hungry, despite the sugary stuff in my coffee . I went back to her today and had to admit i felt a lot more energetic. She told me then that she had read some stull on the net linking Aspartam to chronic fatigue, nervous conditions and depression - the two of which I have had over many years.
And I hate to sound like a wacky - new agey type, cos I really am a born skeptic, but it has really changed my mood and apparently how my body handles food. I am actually starting to lose weight - very slowly, ut gradually. Its only been a week and a half, but really, it seems to be helping. I will let you all know if it continues to help in case any of you are using Aspartam aswell (its in everything.. god! Softdrinks, chewing gum, low calorie yoghurt). I even read a few doctors who are trying to get it banned in the USA, but due to the fact that commerical enterprises are apparently in charge of their own testing procedures, this is difficult (imagine Coke admitting to selling a nerve poison in its drinks.. i dont think so).

anyway - I am really greatful for your support! If anyone else has had similar experiences with aspartam, please let me know!

take care all