Iwannabethin,

You sound like losing weight is something you really would like to have happen to you, but lack the willpower to accomplish it. If you believe in God, ask him for the willpower to help you through this. I did that after being over weight for 5 years after having my kids. I finally got sick of who I had become and started out slowly working out everyday and now, 6months later am reaching my goal. You probably don't want to go to a gym (I don't either) and that's ok, try a workout video, any work out video (I would Recommend Richard Simmons because he is such a positive and loving person) and stick with it. That's the main thing STICK WITH IT and you'll start noticing a difference in your soul first. That is what you really need to mend first, then your body will follow suit. God Loves YOU!