Sorry to hear of your weight gain. Seems a common problem! A couple years ago I got down from 208 to 183, and it's slowly gone up all the way to 199. I had gotten rid of all my clothes that got too big, but just recently bought myself more because I really needed something to wear that I'd feel pretty in. But I only bought a few things, because I'm not going to be here long!!!

Anyways, you did it before, you can do it again, and we're all here for you!

Thanks guys

ugh, i slid 15lbs and I feel terrible. I know exactly how you feel I agree with whomever said that you need to set your "bad" weight gain (not flux, actual fat) and when you hit that realise that you need to change.

Things I use to tell myself I can't gain? Skin elasticity (i read somewhere that with weight gain/loss it depleats..if I'm wrong I don't want to know ). I Buy EXPENSIVE clothing, there is no way I'm buying another pair of jeans because my butt doesn't fit into the expensive ones. I also try on my clothing regularly to make sure I haven't shifted back into the fat pants.

Also, I do sympathize with your SO and the weight thing. My SO can eat a lot, and drop weight twice as quickly. Bastard

Well this is an update:

I am going to the gym even though I have to go at night were I used to spend time with my wife (we basically don't see each other just at night when we come home from work) so by going to the gym I spend less time with her and she gets a little upsted about that. But I am trying.......

Also I am being careful with food, even though they have open buffets were I work (FOR FREE!!!)

Its hard but I am trying. thanks gus for the support.

Please keep me motivated. thanks

They have the free buffet lunch where I work, too. From week to week it varies on what is there, this week they seem to be focusing on pizza (lucky me) so I am packing a lunch. Next time you are eyeballing that tasty food you should ask yourself: is the feeling I get from eating that food worth more than how good I am going to feel when I meet my goal? It doesn't always work, but from time to time it keeps me from giving in to those naughty temptations.

Good luck and hang in there

could you not possibly go to the gym together ,even though she does not need to lose weight exercise still makes you feel good right? and its also a fact that exercise also increases your labido so you would be killing two birds with one stone aswell as burning hundreds of calories
and if not the gym then something like dance classes , running or romantic walks etc

Workout Ideas for Couples

How Couples Combine Romance and Physical Fitness - Associated Content


all the best, you will do it . xx

There's a lot of calories in a big hamburger, big fries and a big coke... some 1000 cal or so. Have you thought what else you'd be eating in a day like this vs. what your wife would eat? Maybe the answer is there...

On the other hand, if you suspect your metabolism is very slow with no reasonable justification, perhaps it'd be a good idea to have your thyroid checked.

What do you do for exercise? Don't let your job confine you-- go take a walk during your lunch break. Get out and exercise at least 4 days a week. Take your beautiful wife for walks in the park or something! This all counts.

Also, don't become a conditional eater, aka, what she eats, I eat. Instead, when she orders the big burger, coke and fries, get your burger sans cheese and mayo, and maybe switch out your fries and coke for side salad and water. It'll be tough. I am currently on a weight loss journey while my spouse is not. I watch him munch away on mozzarella sticks, burgers, pizza, etc. He is a musician, so he gets activity frequently and therefore doesnt gain much weight. Meanwhile I've gotta watch him eat the juicy burger while eating my salad and veggies? It definately SUCKS, but it's something you can get over.

ALSO, almost E V E R Y restaurant has a low-fat section , and if it doesn't, almost everywhere has grilled chicken and veggies. THATS ALL YOU NEED! Grilled chicken or steak, steamed veggies and/or a baked potato. Boom. And it's delicious! So dont worry about going out w/ your wife-- just be concious of what you're ordering.

It sucks you gained your weight back, but like you said, you love food and ate out improperly too much. But don't beat yourself up anymore-- instead take your frustration out on the treadmill or at the park. Start moving more frequently, make it a habit and you'll definately see weight loss again.

My advice is to make a lifestyle change to healthier eating. Learn to eat healthy and never revert back to the old fast food junk.

I've yo-yo dieted since I was a teenager, but in my adult years (20's until 40's), I've lost and regained 50 lbs. twice, so I know where you're coming from.

Here are some suggestions/comments:

1) Re-evaluate your goals. I've finally realized now that I am willing to accept a weight that's a bit higher that I might have liked in the past because that higher weight allows me to be more relaxed with my eating. For instance, in the past, I my goal weight was always 130, which is certainly a reasonable weight for me. However, now 145 seems fine to me. I know that I could get to 130, but in doing so, I'd have to give up much of the food I enjoy regularly, and I'm not willing to do that. The same with exercise. I do 20 minutes of cardio a day, maximum (I do some push-ups, sit-ups, and lunges, too). I could do an hour on the treadmill each day, but I know that I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. (Also, when I know that all I have to do is 20 minutes, it keeps me more consistent).

2) Don't let negative self-talk get the best of you. If you're like me, you've lost some self-trust, i.e., you do not trust yourself to keep the weight off because you've regained it once before. Sometimes that lack of self-trust can translate into negative self talk. Examples: "What's the use? I love food too much. I'll never be able to be a healthy weight!" Counter that negative self-talk with positive comments. I know that sounds like psycho-babble, but it works.

3) Be clear about your goals to your wife. I, too, live with a spouse who can eat whatever he wants without gaining. Also, my spouse tends to oversimplify the ease with which others could lose weight (e.g., "If people just stopped putting food in their mouths, they'd lose weight"---I agree, but tell me how to do the first part). I've made it clear that I am dieting, so that means, that some things might change. I will be getting my 20 minutes of exercise in a day, no matter what. I may not be able to go out for a drive to get an ice-cream at night on a whim (we can still go out for a drive, though). I've learned that I have to stand up for myself.

4) Find a maintenance plan that you can live with. I'm currently dieting strictly because I'm impatient to get some initial weight off more quickly (I need to in order to get motivated), but I've already mapped out what I'll be doing for maintenance this time (something I have never done any other time I've lost weight). I plan to do the No-S plan (Google it), i.e., eat three reasonable meals a day---no snacks, no seconds, and no sweets----Except for Saturday, Sunday, and special occasions (birthdays, holidays, etc.). (I plan to have my treats on a weekday and on Saturday instead of Sunday). This plan is doable because it requires no special foods, no special preparation, and I don't feel like a freak by turning down birthday cake at a birthday party. Also, it's the way Americans generally ate 30 years ago before the dieting craze hit.

5) Finally, --and this may be the most important---don't focus on the unfairness of your plight. I get caught in that trap often. I'll focus on how unfair it is that others can eat "whatever they want" and still be thin. What you'll find is that the main difference between "naturally" thin folks and people like us is the desire for food. I honestly believe that people who struggle with their weight genetically have a higher desire for food than those who do not. Once I realized that and accepted it, I realized that because of that, I would always have to be more conscious of my eating than many other people. Do I wish it wasn't so? Sure---but I can't change reality. It is what it is, so I must deal with it.

I wish you the best. You CAN do this.

Wise words, Lynn40, Wise words!

I have yo-yo dieted just like you and I'm only 19! From 150 lbs, to 200, to 170, to 230, to 190, to 245! My oh my!

I really like the No-S diet... It's really hard to avoid your favorite foods at special events, and I agree that it's ok as long as the Special events aren't weekly lol.

I think I will try this...

-N-

Thanks guys

Nightporter, isn't it amazing how once we put the weight back on, it's usually at a higher weight than when we started? That's the case with me, too. It goes to show you that crazy dieting plans don't work longterm. I'm currently on a very strict short-term dieting plan to get some weight off quickly (it's the Rotation diet), and that plan has a transition into maintenance to prevent weight re-gain. Once I do a week of that transition, I plan on implementing No-S.

Good luck with No-S!

Sorry to hear about your gain. Good on you for determining that it is NOT acceptable and that you are going to tackle it again! Truly persistence is key in maintaining our losses. Sadly I can share your pain from weight gain in years gone by!

However, I have never worked as hard nor lost as much as I have this time around. I, too, have a very sedentary job - so I make myself get on my treadmill EVERY FREAKING DAY for an hour - on incline, walking and running! I suggest some home gym equipment for you and your sweetie to work out together. In addition I do a cardio/core bootcamp twice weekly. I am a married mother with 2 young kids and I work outside my home PT.

My point is that you simply MUST make physical fitness your priority! Make it your hobby. And don't deprive yourself of foods you love - just have less of it, or smaller portions less often, or whatever works for you.

You know you can do this. Best wishes on your journey!
ABBA

Wonderful post Lynn40, I was going to post mostly exactly that, only I couldn't have worded it so nicely.

Looking just at your and your wife's lunch is not enough to say : "we eat the exact same", I saw this program on telly a few months back where 2 girls said we eat exactly the same and one kept putting on weight, so they followed them around and in fact they were not eating the same. One would go for a huge latte instead of an espresso and had like 200 cals more right there, then they both had the same foo, but one had a diet coke and the other one an apple juice, while healthier the apple juice had another 150 cals, and like that all the time.
My man was fat as a child, he lost all his weight when he was 15 or 16 (went from 200 to 155 and has maintained since... so for 8 years), he watches what he eats a bit (not too much sweeties, he doesn't drink fizzy drinks, he never eats fast food), but still eats tons of food... probably about twice the amount I eat. But he burns it as well, he swims with a team 4 to 5 times a week (sometimes 6 days a week), and not just a bit of swimming, he swims 2 or 3 miles each time... but we are all different! So if your wife is not gainig weight eating over 1000 cals for lunch, she is probably not having much breakfast or dinner, or working out, or just moving around a ton...

There are lots of activities you can do together, for example skating (on iceskates or rollerblades)! It is so much fun! Go to a class together to feel safe on your blades or skates and then you can make it a weekly thing (just free lance, without the teacher). One evening a week instead of movie and popcorn, go out and blade for a couple of hours. That will burn around 800 to 1000 cals!
Or take a ballroom dance class! So much fun! And active!

The man and I have done rock climbing, twice weekly we would go to a rock climbing centre and climb, was great fun (but you may not feel comfortable with this, we are quite adventurous people...), we now swim together some days, or just go for very long walks (4 or 5 hours on weekends), we iceskate or run/blade (he runs I blade) when we find a bit of time... it is great!
You don't need to go to the gym for exercise (or at least not exclusively). If you live anywhere but London you will be able to use the summer days for long walks or other outdoorsy activities!
Have fun! Camy