Please remember that the pendelum (sp?) swings both ways, on the obese to slender sides of things. Just because someone may be on the slender side of things throughout their life time does NOT mean they haven't had just as much strife and pain with their appearance or Health as a bigger person. Plus with that said, once you get down to those few pounds, and you hit a plateau for a number of weeks it is DAMN hard work losing much of anything. Also when I was losing it seemed surreal, I kept thinking how it was just going to go right back up on me because I may not be doing it right. So if you don't know every detail of what someone whom is slender is like maybe you shouldn't judge. I've had just as much hate on me by "average"-"over weight"- "obese" people throughout my life, as I seem to be picking up that a lot of average-over weight- obese people have had from slender people off of this forum. All in all it is too bad. BUT there are a lot of very kind ppl here as well.

I've also read quite a bit on here about how ppl think certain ppl pick you as their fat friend and what not, and than what they think of about you and how they treat you after losing a bunch of weight. If they are choosing you because you are bigger, than they probably were never your friend to begin with. If they have a real problem with you now with your weight, either it's how you feel, not what they've said (maybe not even hinted) than you need more work on you. Or they really need help whether or not they are "SELF-AWARE" they're having some real problems with themselves, and maybe it's time for ppl to move on. *you* (all people in general terms) As I have this theory that weight is not actually about weight.

I know from what I've gotten off of here that being slender or rather not hardly over weight nor obese for your life time it ain't nothin to lose a measly 30 lbs, but I really believe that is ignorance on a lot of people's part.

I indulged over the weekend's Bike Trip, waaay too much. I can feel my body still evening out. I wonder how long until it's back on track again, even with being back on track. I've noticed that when I had indulged b4 that it would take a couple of weeks to get back to where things were...

Last week's goal of only checking my weight once in the morning or in the afternoon only with one foot after a Power Walk, didn't go too badly actually, still needs some work though. Since I was away for a few days I didn't have a scale to check constantly throughout the day.

So still working on working that into the equation as well as power walks, keeping my drinking of water up to around 2.5-3.5 Liters per day is this weeks goal.

RunningGirl - I dont know whether my comment on my friends is what caused your statement. All that I can say is that I like my friends and they remain to be my friends. I can also say that for a number of years I was well over 100 pounds heavier than she was. When I started losing weight they were supportive and when we visited served healthy food. They now serve more fattening food than they did over the decade prior to my project. I honestly think that they do not think that they are doing it - but we have both noticed it happening. I certainly would never mention it - but it does make me think twice about visiting too often.

Hello Omega, I do not know you and I do not know your friend. If she is doing that in spite of you, well than that is too bad, but maybe she is having some of her own personal problems. I never said that you shouldn't like your friends, and that you should just drop them. But if that is the case with a friend than I would think that is not a very great friend to have, no matter how long one has known them for. Also if you think she is doing it in spite of you and she is such a good friend, I would bring it up with her. Maybe it really has absolutely nothing at all to do with you.

I am sorry you took this as a direct hit on you, as I did not mean for it to be, I just feel that it is one of the common idea's that go on on this forum. It was just the last straw for me I guess.

And that it is hurtful, for someone such as myself for people to believe unless they intimately (personally) know how someone is like that to be "skinny as a rail" your whole life, isn't as great as it is cracked up to be. And than to gain 30-40 lbs in a few years due to illness, is also not any fun. Losing weight & maintaining is difficult if you have 250 lbs or 40 lbs (PERIOD)

I was never aware that there was such a slender: "We do not have that "always slim person"'s confidence streak that says that it only happens to other people I was not aware that the "slender people of the world" such as myself had this type of stigma. (this is what I found to also be hurtful)*

To chime in on the topic at hand.. I've always been proud of my lifelong WORK to keep my weight in a reasonable range. Over the years I've ranged from a size 6 to a size 12, and any time I got up to a 10, I would work harder and get the weight back off before it got out of control. I could have given up completely, as I would have loved to do many times, and just ate what I wanted and declined to exercise--but I didn't. I hung in there and fought HARD to maintain. So sometimes it looks so easy--but for many people it is just evidence of a struggle and fight that they are winning. From all those years of watching my weight, I gained a lot of diet and exercise knowledge. So yeah, I've noticed a negative attitude at times from a small percentage of our larger members but I just try to ignore it and carry on in the knowledge that there are those who appreciate my advice and support.

I barely ate anything today, not sure what's up with my appetite. Still no exercise! What a cow I am!

I try to ignore it too Blancita, but sometimes I just snap, it is one of another aspect in my life that I am striving to work on, Self-Control in how I perceive things. Need to just breath and relax.

hmmm... I always wondered where I "fit in" to this picture... as I have ranged from a size 10 (ideal weight) to a size 18 (obese according to the bmi). When that "obese" word came up, I kinda felt like I had just been categorised... and I wanted out! I never actually wore a size 18, as that would mean shopping in the "larger women's section", so I squeezed into 16s and got my ass into gear!

Then I lost the majority of my weight and got comfortable (but still overweight slightly). The thing is, at this weight, there's no big deal about it really. If I were to say I'm dieting or trying to lose anyone I know would disagree. And that is why I think I have still not reached my goal and have been at the same weight for 6 months now (up and down all the time... more up)

Gotta keep the goal fresh in your mind!

There most certainly is an "always slim person's confidence streak" about the possibility of becoming seriously morbidly obese. I know because I was always slim until I was nearly 27 years of age when I had a sudden and dramatic weight gain.

I could envisage putting on a few pounds - but never anything like what happened. People may think they might under certain circumstances go up into the next BMI category - but rarely do they think that a greater gain is likely.

Did you think that having a BMI of over 40 (not to mention 50) was on the cards for you when you were slender?

I still cannot get into some of the clothes that I still have from that time yet my bones and veins are quite visible....

I still have these clothes because I am wondering whether I will be able to get into them after my surgery.

People that have lost 40 pounds may struggle to maintain - but they will envisage themselves by going up again by very little more than the lost 40 pounds. They do not envisage themselves gaining 160 pounds.

This thread has fundamentally changed from being a one directed towards mutual support to one of criticism. I personally do not find the current direction to be in any way supportive or helpful. Life is too hard to face this kind of upset.

I have therefore decided to leave this thread in order for it to hopefully return to it's original nature.

There is no need for any of my earlier postings to be replied to as I will never read them.

I may delete some of the content from my earlier postings as I tend to be very open about my experiences and situation - and have been appalled at the manner in which my statements have been quoted with such a critical tone.

haha, let me tell you how i saw it, right:

Omega said fat chicks have it harder, running girl (a thin chick) got very defensive.

Both of yous coulda just expressed opinions without judging one another.

Phew, now remember, you also can't read tone of voice, so even if a post seems mean, reread it and try to read it within that person's context.

Anyway, love ya all, sorry we had to lose Omega with her vast experience... but we're still here!

The way i see it is if you can't be supportive of anyone then what is the point in being here. Part of the reason i haven't been here much is cause how can i support someone when i can't even handle things in my own world right now. Hubby is home so we have been busy and not much exercise unless you count the bedroom stuff in there as exercise.. and food has been less then good. So yeah. I'll be back once hubby's on the road. and I got a three week break from school coming up soon so during that time it will all be exercise and taking care of my boys. ok well gotta go. baby's calling mama

I wasn't meaning like I stated previously for it to come across as a hit, I got to the point when someone talks about having it harder than anyone else, and not knowing anyone personally, that that is very hard for me to swallow, (I was able to handle it) but when it gets to the point where mini cliques (from my perspective of course) form about being obese or whichever than that is when I become uncomfortable in a support thread.

I felt the need to state my opinion. Whether or not someone envisions themselves at a higher weight gain, I was trying to make a point with myself about being slender all ones life, and the constant pain I had to endure so that's all I was trying to get at, that it swings both ways, I may have thrown in a few examples that were also spoken about, because I just felt that it is spoken about quite a bit throughout the forum.

I'm leaving it at that, and I will continue to be on this thread if ppl will have me, as I need the continued support. I hope I have not wronged anyone else, by expressing my feelings and having an opinion.

You know, I always kinda thought that naturally slim girls would be more afraid of gaining weight than someone like me (was chubby since I was 10 years old) .... I always felt "ok, it's just a little more chubbiness added onto already chubby..."

Hmmm, chubby is a funny word... chubby ....ehe

Ok, so I'm not doing well and binging on greasy huge portions of food plus ice cream and chocolates....

I think I'm a little stressed... I just quit my job this week (as my company is going to be liquidated) and am starting a new job next week. I've only been at this job for less than 2 months, I feel really uprooted... too much change too fast. Think I'm trying to ground myself with the food....?

Well ladies, LOL, I havent posted for a few days and come to whirl wind of confusion and hurt feelings and ppl feeling attacked

All I have to say is Margaret, Im sorry to see you left and felt attacked and unsupported here due to a few personal opinions

The prob with words on a screen is that there is no feel or emotions or tone of voice being heard with them, not the same as in person. I also know once someone is on the defence in general, then everything they read from comes from a negative veiw point...

All in all I dont think anyone is really in the wrong.That is the problem wiht head strong wmn hanging out together, lol.

Margaret Im sorry you are leaving the thread due to this however, Im here to support you and I will do so in your challenge

Everyone regardless of weight, body size/porportions, old/young and etc....maintaning or not have a hard time through this battle no matter where they are coming from...

Margaret was speaking from some one who has been obesese (As i see it) for avery long time reversing it and the struggle in maintaining what was reveresed and how hard it is to not step back into weight loss again and how easy it is to go back to weight gain, I get where she is coming from, at least I think i hope I understand it right.

Ive always had problems I can gain weight like ya wouldnt believe why Im still here , lol...One little step back, one little re-indulgence and im back on the weight gaining train.

Bottom line is is is hard regardless of where we are coming from and who we are.

Ive been missing youI gotta fill you in on my date

Dont be silly. Your intitled to your opinion...and dont need to leave.

I think what needs to be remembered is that this journey is hard for all of us.No matter where we are and we all think it is only hard for us , when in all reality we are all here dealing with the same hardness on different levels. If we were the only ones dealing with all this there wouldnt mbe so many of us here or a million forums for weight loss.

*UGH* Hun sorry to hear that. I started a new relationship a few months back...when it ended just as fast as it had started it really set me back adn hurt me ALOT so i toook a break for awhile...then my dad fell ill in the hospital and i had a cpl weeks off of work and such. I tried to be good but I too was going for the comfort, why I started this thread. It is so easy to fall back and I never really realized I was a comfort food eater ya know...but i totally am. I hope all goes well with this new job and Im sorry the change is so fast but things happen for a reason