As You All Know By Now, Life Isn't Going So Well For Me.

I Still Have C Cups. Brad Is Using My Ex-girlfriend Like Ron Jeremy In His Prime. I Crapped Myself Benchpressing The Other Day Right Next To The Only Woman At The Gym That Doesn't Appear To Have External Ovaries. What Next?

All I Wanted To Do Is Better Myself So I Could Get A Wickid Hottie. Should I Give Up Or Try And Muster Some Dignity And Pursue Physical Perfection?

where did you get that picture at???

FUNNY STORY... THE GIRL IN THE PIC (MY EX,EX) WAS NOT AFRAID OF FILM IN THE BEDROOM. WE SET UP A TRI POD AND TOOK THAT ONE. AFTER OUR WILD AND, DARE I SAY, PAINFUL LOVE MAKING SESSION, THE CAMERA WAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.

A MONTH LATER, AFTER A HOMETOWN BUFFET BINGE, SHE HAD TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TO REMOVE A WAYWARD CHICKEN NUGGET FROM GOD KNOWS WHERE. DURING THE VISIT, THE DOC LOCATED AN OVEN MIT, A HALF ORDER OF CHILI CHEESE FRIES AND, YOU GUESSED IT, THE CAMERA. THAT WAS THE ONLY PIC THAT SURVIVED THE ORDEAL.

Dude..you kill me.. I love reading your stuff..you are a fricken riot.

Wow..anyway.. Dont lose hope man..you have to keep trying! I havent given up yet..you cant! well, you can, its a free world..but dont! its not worth it..

SON, YOU FLATTER ME. I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK UNLESS SOME UPTIGHT BUNGHOLE MAKES ME DISAPPEAR.

Thats what your camera said!

On a serious note, chicken nuggets are for internal use only.

Im not a "son" im a woooman..but thats cool...
I do hope that no "real" chickens were injured to send this message...
Unless the chicken had fun doing it...

PARDON ME, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A BROAD. I MUST HAVE ASSUMED YOU WERE A DUDE, WHEN YOU REFERRED TO ME AS A DUDE. NOW GET OFF THE INTERNET AND GO VACUUM OR SOMETHING.

I'm OK.

Breathe easy.