I am having difficulty dealing with my weight loss. Since I was 8 years old I was overweight. I wasn't obese but I wasn't like the normal other girls my age. I found ways that I believed could mask my heftiness. When I graduated high school, I was overweight but it was not until I took a couple years off school that I really ballooned in weight. I went from a size 14 to a size 20. I weighed almost 200 pounds. I used to shop at this store called torrid for young plus sized girls. They had somewhat trendy clothes and I went there religiously.

Just 9 months ago, I started to recognize the emptiness in my life. I was listening to music that touched my soul and I realized a new purpose for my life. I wanted to get fit. I realized that I was hiding under the fat and as I took a creative writing class, I understood through my poetry my need to break out of the limitations that the weight had held me under. I never really ever said that I wanted to lose weight. I didn't even weigh myself until recently. What I noticed more so was that I was losing sizes like crazy. I read an article that explained that weight is not as important as inches because muscle weighs more than fat.

I started to feel motivated to move. I started slow (walking around a shopping center) then I added riding my bike. Then the next semester of school I took many exercise classes and at the end I decided to join 24 hour fitness. I work off 800 calories a day on the treadmill and other cardio machines besides doing weight resistance training. I eat fruits and veggies for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, a nice dinner and fruits and veggies as a snack if I want.

Now I am a size 4 petite --- an unbelieveable size for me. Now I am dealing with not being able to come to terms with how different I look. I recently saw a picture that I took right before this change and I am shocked that I truly looked obese. I still can not believe that I ever looked like that. I never really believed that I was that bad off.

There are so many changes that I can not fully accept.
1. My naked body is normal looking, not obstructed by lots of fat.
2. I get compliments from guys more than ever.
3. I can buy clothes anywhere.
4. I can find a jacket that fits me anywhere.
5. All of my health ailments (high blood pressure/ heart palpatations / irregular periods / acid reflex) are gone.
6. I can walk up hill more easily. (On campus there are hills that used to send me heaving. Now they are a piece of cake. I am in shock.)
7. I have a neck.

the list goes on and on. I can not believe it and yet I am so afraid that I will go back to the way I was before. I am surprised that I lost like a size a month.

I am also dealing with some loose skin around my tummy and stretch marks. What advice can anyone give about my issues? Thanks so much. I am glad that I finally found a forum for this.

No advice here, yet. I'm sorry. Our minds are incredible, yet complex, things. I know my image of myself hasn't changed. I look down and still see me as big as I used to be, even though when I objectively look at photos I KNOW I'm smaller. I really don't know how long it takes to get used to the big change in perception except by taking it one day at a time. Focus on that one day, how you feel, eating healthy, taking time to appreciate who you are now and how far you've come.

Sorry if that sounds hokey. You can be one of the 5% that keeps their weight off. The key to that is to KNOW with utter certainty that your journey did not end the moment you hit your goal. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. It's the people that think, "I'm skinny now, I can eat what I want", who balloon up again. They forget to check portions, they snack more, forget to weigh themselves.

By the way, congratulations on your loss!!!!!

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Starting Weight: 200 lbs Current: 142

You've come too far in life to take orders from a cookie...

It's a huge change because for most of your life that was how your were. Have you thought about seeing a therapist to work through your issues? You've worked so hard to get were you are and just need to keep aware of how you are livving and keep it up. Congratulations on how far you have come and I hope you can come to acceptance with the change you have gone through.

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You'll come around. I had a friend who went through the same thing. She was alaways big and when she hit 235lbs she freaked and changed her life, now she's a size 3 and 118lbs, LOOKS FANTASTIC! She got depressed after losing all the weight but then she started carrying around before pics and after pic and other pics of models and 'skinny people' and soon she forgot that she ever felt weird and is thankful everyday that she doesn't look like her prior self.

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NoThInG TaStEs As GoOd As BeInG tHiN wILL FeeL

hey, I feel like this sometimes too - and I haven't even had a huge change in weight. It's scary because you were hiding underneath your weight and now you're changing into a new person. Being overweight has been part of your identity for so long, and now that's changed. This is important for weight loss and maintenance. You're still you, just a healthier you. Go easy on yourself and have fun exploring your new freedom!