New Year, New Thread for Those who Weigh 200 lbs/90 Kg or More

[veronandez86]

Natalie Jo,
I agree with what Hope said about being confused. Just try and take it easy with Jay and Derek. I dont want to see you get hurt. Plus, I also think that you need to really sit down and evaluate what it is about each guy you really like and it must be hard to do that if you said that you are kinda seeing them both at the same time.



So Ladies and Kevi,

I have been hanging out with Sean this whole beginning part of the week, pretty much. We are still at the getting to know eachother phase, but I think that things are going to go good for us. He is honestly showing much interest in me and has even asked to go with me to the doctors appointment I had the other day and offered to go to my follow up appt in 2 weeks. He's sweet. He's already said that he wanted to be my boyfriend, but I'm a bit afraid to jump into something so soon with him. I mean, I really really like him alot, but I want to know him better before making a comittment of being more than just friends. I think holding back on jumping into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is wise, how bout you all?

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by Hope2

Nat,

I think if your confused, then neither are M.R. right. They both sound like maybe M.R. right for nows.. Which is fine, but be careful, you are dealing with peoples feelings, including your own. I'm glad they both know, but the dating two people at once thing, well, umm I just don't understand it.

Since you like them both, well what are you going to do, enjoying being single is a good thing Nat, you don't have to be looking for something seriouse. And if your not looking for something seriouse then it doesn't really matter. Your just out haveing fun.. Making a choice for a M.R. right now, even though you do like them both, shouldn't be that difficult, since it's aperantly a win win situation for you. What I mean is it doesn't seem to mater to you one way or another.. Which is why I came to the asumption that they are both M.R. right for nows... anyway mabye I'm wrong.. Drama, is well not a good thing nat. I'm sure it's flatering with several guys into you at the same time, but it can allso bring you down real easy, drama that is. Becareful with yourself, with all the depreshion you've been having latley, well I worry for you.. Make sure you are treating yourself, well, really really well...

Umm Kevi, I think my eyes are bleeding.. lol... Gees, I'm going to try to forget I read that, lol...

Oh guys quick tid bit, about my family with the "weight thing" well there are several but here is one. My grandma, can not say anything to me like, oh don't you look nice, because I'm sure she is afraid that if she says that like I'll stop working on myself, lol.. She has allways made excuses for me being overweight, gees, like in front of people.. She will say things like, oh are those your "good pants", you'll have to take them in.. (like I know how), but it's like this phycological thing, serioulsy, even when I get to my goal weight, I'm not expecting my grandma to say anything. She's just that way, a compliment = the person no longer striving.. hmmmm.. People are so interesting, lol..

I have decided that Derek and Jay and I are just going to stay friends. But MR right could be Jay. So I am leaving things open for discussion between Jay and I. And Derek and I are going to stay friends permanently. I think I am falling for Jay. I hate to admit that. But he respects me so much. He says whatever I am not comfy doing I dont need to. The last two times we have been together, we havent done anything, except last night we did cuddle... cuddling was nice!... just cuddling ...perfect night... nothing more ...nothing less ....just right for me. And now his smell is on my pillow...ahh ... I sniff it before anything. I guess you can figure out who I like better... Jay

and yes I am self depricating. So I am staying single... you are right Hope ...
But I am feeling a bit better... I am going bike riding today ... 12 mile bike ride ...I will find out the exact mileage when my mom first drops me off... I will be bike riding back ...having a serious talk with Derek today .... very Serious...

and Hope, about your grandmother, mine is the total opposite lol she just comes out and says "Your chest looks like a barrel" lol she said that to me when I was this weight before... I have dropped pounds once again and am back under the 270s by a couple pounds. But no celebrating.. I have done the no 270s three times now ... ugh ...hopefully this time is for real lol

ttylater hun
love yas
always
natalie jo

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by Kevi12

It was raspberry lol, I was chugging that man. It was freakin awesome! It tasted like juice and I drank what? a bottle and a half? haha I didn't even get tipsy

lol not tipsy huh. I would be so falling on my butt! lol I havent had a drink for three years and so many months... I put it out once I started my meds. Not allowed to drink ... u know ...

well ttylater hun
becareful

always
love yas
natalie jo

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by veronandez86

Natalie Jo,
I agree with what Hope said about being confused. Just try and take it easy with Jay and Derek. I dont want to see you get hurt. Plus, I also think that you need to really sit down and evaluate what it is about each guy you really like and it must be hard to do that if you said that you are kinda seeing them both at the same time.



So Ladies and Kevi,

I have been hanging out with Sean this whole beginning part of the week, pretty much. We are still at the getting to know eachother phase, but I think that things are going to go good for us. He is honestly showing much interest in me and has even asked to go with me to the doctors appointment I had the other day and offered to go to my follow up appt in 2 weeks. He's sweet. He's already said that he wanted to be my boyfriend, but I'm a bit afraid to jump into something so soon with him. I mean, I really really like him alot, but I want to know him better before making a comittment of being more than just friends. I think holding back on jumping into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is wise, how bout you all?

Hey Veronica!
No rush needed. Get to know him if you please

thats what I was doing with Jay and Derek. But I have gotten to know them enough I think to know who
I would want to be with if something was to happen. Derek kind of revealed himself yesterday. I wont say how, but lets just say the naughty is a big part on being in his mind and the other stuff is lagging behind. Whereas with Jay, we havent slept together for two weeks, just cuddled and watched some anime last time. No pressure with him. Lots of pressure for something I dont think I want from Derek. So tuff decision, not much. I talked with Derek last night and it was enough to realize what I wanted and its a friendship with Jay. If Derek can't be my friend because I wont sleep with him, than he isnt worth a friendship, u know

but Veronica, your right on top of things. Getting to know someone is a good idea, but it sounds like you two are doing awesome! Happy for you hun!
Keep it up and have fun!

love yas
natalie jo

[Kevi12]

Man, i'm the only guy/boy! gah lol, but I feel so special "Ladies and Kevi" makes me smile lol

It was some good drink man, but i'm heading out now. I gotta hit the gym I feel like i gained a couple of lbs in 4 days lol. Peace ya'll

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by Kevi12

Man, i'm the only guy/boy! gah lol, but I feel so special "Ladies and Kevi" makes me smile lol

It was some good drink man, but i'm heading out now. I gotta hit the gym I feel like i gained a couple of lbs in 4 days lol. Peace ya'll

lol "Ladies and Kevi" I think you are the only male counterpart in these neck of the woods, unless there are lurkers Kevi, which sometimes there are ...

but anyway you have a gtime at the gym!

laterz
Natalie jo

[nataliejo]

Hello everyone,
Well I got a kiss from Derek and felt ... nada ...

And I snuggled with Jay last night and felt Alotta something with the old emotions.

Derek is definitely a friend. Spent the afternoon with him.

Going to see Jay later, don't know when later is, but probably next Tuesday or Wed. He works morning and nights on Friday and Saturday, is off Sunday night and than Monday through Friday works 6 am to 6 pm ...talk about long hours ...

He works at a machine shop making computer parts and he also works for the Daily Democrat at night on Friday and Saturday.

So I will see him at the beginning or mid next week. Looking forward to it ... more snuggling and cuddling ...and he left his smell on my pillow last night .. yum ..it smells so good .... oh girls .. I think I am in love with Jay... I just have this sparky feeling inside for Jay and I know it isnt lust, because we havent slept with each other for a couple weeks ... its luv!

But Derek ..hm ...friend!

well I did a three mile walk and might do more later, don't know yet, its rather warm ..and I am rather red .. I know .. I know ..sunscreen... today was not a planned walk .. I was walking back from Derek's karate group to home .. my mom was late picking my butt up ..at least I got a work out .. I am sweating up a storm ... time to go relax and drink plenty of water ...

love yas
always
natalie jo

[veronandez86]

Originally Posted by nataliejo

Hello everyone,
Well I got a kiss from Derek and felt ... nada ...

And I snuggled with Jay last night and felt Alotta something with the old emotions.

Derek is definitely a friend. Spent the afternoon with him.

Going to see Jay later, don't know when later is, but probably next Tuesday or Wed. He works morning and nights on Friday and Saturday, is off Sunday night and than Monday through Friday works 6 am to 6 pm ...talk about long hours ...

He works at a machine shop making computer parts and he also works for the Daily Democrat at night on Friday and Saturday.

So I will see him at the beginning or mid next week. Looking forward to it ... more snuggling and cuddling ...and he left his smell on my pillow last night .. yum ..it smells so good .... oh girls .. I think I am in love with Jay... I just have this sparky feeling inside for Jay and I know it isnt lust, because we havent slept with each other for a couple weeks ... its luv!

But Derek ..hm ...friend!

I'm glad you found out which one you want to be with more. So, what kind of cologne does Jay wear that he smells so good? LoL.

I'm a sucker for Stetson Cologne and Hugo Boss. Those both smell yummy to me!

I'm glad you are happy Nat. You diserve it. You are such a great kindhearted person.

I hope me and Sean get to have what you call love. I can see myself falling for him. OH, and cuddling is the best. I think Sean is the first guy I've been with who likes to cuddle.

Oh, and does anyone know anything about World of Warcraft? Sean's a W.O.W. Geek. He tried to get me to understand it the other day, but it just doesn't interest me.

Take Care Natalie!!

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by veronandez86

I'm glad you found out which one you want to be with more. So, what kind of cologne does Jay wear that he smells so good? LoL.

I'm a sucker for Stetson Cologne and Hugo Boss. Those both smell yummy to me!

I'm glad you are happy Nat. You diserve it. You are such a great kindhearted person.

I hope me and Sean get to have what you call love. I can see myself falling for him. OH, and cuddling is the best. I think Sean is the first guy I've been with who likes to cuddle.

Oh, and does anyone know anything about World of Warcraft? Sean's a W.O.W. Geek. He tried to get me to understand it the other day, but it just doesn't interest me.

Take Care Natalie!!

My friend has a WOW site lol her myspace is set to one of her characters lol
wow ...

So Jay just wants to be friends, but doesnt like hearing about other men. Much said, much said ... hmm

So I can count that out and nada with Derek ..so that leaves me

Single!

which is ok ... I think ...yes it is ...if thats what it must be .. I am totally cool going it on my own lol

except a little fun with Jay will be nice on the side ... did I just say that?!
naughty me .. Kevi close your eyes lol


so Thats about it folks ... single and actually loving it now that I know whats up with my boys lol

ttylater Veronica
love yas
and good luck with Sean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

natskie

[veronandez86]

Natalie, do you have a myspace account? So sorry to hear that this guy you really liked is a dud... but at least you all are friends still. =)


Anyway, my diary got deleted, oops... I hit the wrong button when I was on it and got the whole thing deleted. So, I guess I'm going to have to start a new one. Which is okay I guess.


I'm thinking about taking more pictures of myself for a visual of what I have lost. I think that I have lost quite a bit. I just need to start exercising so that I'm not all jiggly like J-E-L-L-O. LoL. Plus, my wall of Veronica, needs to be updated. Even if the pictures only show a little improvement I suppose that will help to motivate me still.

[nataliejo]

Originally Posted by veronandez86

Natalie, do you have a myspace account? So sorry to hear that this guy you really liked is a dud... but at least you all are friends still. =)


Anyway, my diary got deleted, oops... I hit the wrong button when I was on it and got the whole thing deleted. So, I guess I'm going to have to start a new one. Which is okay I guess.


I'm thinking about taking more pictures of myself for a visual of what I have lost. I think that I have lost quite a bit. I just need to start exercising so that I'm not all jiggly like J-E-L-L-O. LoL. Plus, my wall of Veronica, needs to be updated. Even if the pictures only show a little improvement I suppose that will help to motivate me still.

I think your going to have to make a new one Veronica....

I had a bad account... so I made a new account ..and now the one that wouldnt run ..is running ... so luckily all the posts are still there, but I feel for you .. its hard losing all those entries and pics and everything ..the style of your page ...

but just think ... you get to start anew ..fresh ...

best wishes hun
ttylater
love yas
always
natalie jo

[nataliejo]

Hey girls, Hey Kevi,
Well it seems like I have finally found a solution to the male counterparts that are in my life. I will stay friends and only friends with them...

I realized I am not ready for anything. I can be friends, and yes I plan to have a "good time", with them. but maybe they are the key to me realizing that there are good men out there.

I played the cynic last night, because I am. Do I believe in marriage? I dont know. "do I believe in true love" I dont know. I dont know much about how I feel except everything in my mind is so negative. Negative negative negative. I have been emotionally abused by my mother all my life. She said she had to "break the stallion" in me. (her words to her customers) I am not a stallion to be broken, however I was. She broke me hard and now I am left in a heap all torn and broken as Natalie Imbruglia sings. Torn. All my life I have been torn. And now I realize .. how can one have a loving relationship when you cant love yourself. I am learning. I do love myself once again. Last night, crying all night , fearful of losing Jay and Derek as friends, after my words I spilled forth upon them online. I was really afraid of losing them as friends. They mean the world to me, proving my beliefs wrong. Proving to me that there are in fact kind and gentle men in the world. Did I believe that before, hell no, but they are proving me wrong everyday. ITs kind of nice having such great friends. But they were ok, they were not true friends, because they didnt stick around to talk me down. I even thought I would like to die last night, but I fought that feelings, realized no one was going to give me a hug and had to rely upon myself for that. So I gave myself a hug and cried my eyes out. Sniffles and all.

but now I feel better, like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have my life to focus on and friends to be had and I dont have time for anything more. Derek did kiss me and I want him to do it again. He is so beautiful, such a beautiful person, but I am going to take my time with all that has happened over my life. I need time to relate to men and feel that there are sweet, tride, and true men. I know Derek would love me with all his heart and treat me the way a woman should, but I want to wait. I need time to heal and it may take months, a year, forever to heal from the damage done. But I can do this. I can get through this. I am one strong chicka. And I just need time and therapy to get through these horrible times in my life that existed so long ago. I need to heal before I can love again, love a man again. I need to heal

btw, still under 270, but I am close to being 270

I am not going to wog today, just too much emotional stress, but I plan to dance inside. Dancing makes me happy and thats what I need ..

love yas all
and thanks for being such a great group of friend
love you all with all my heart
love always
natskie