Hey everyone ... this caught my eye because I have an obsession with food basically. I think about it all the time, even though I desperately want to be thin and not let food control my life. But I wake up in the morning and think about what I want to eat, and this continues all day long. Last night at midnight, I left my house to go get fast food ... that is horrible. I am finally taking control of this, and getting a grasp on it. I recently baught a really great bike, so I am starting to bike and do other things when food starts to control my mind. It is so hard sometimes; but most people can stop eating when they are full even if there is food on their plates ... not me, if there is food, I am going to eat it. I hate that ... so I am going to start leaving just 3 bites of food on my plate and start eating more slowly to try to gain som control. Ughhh .. such a battle!

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Height- 5'11
SW - 204
CW- 202
GW- 184


*Make excuses, or make progress*

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What have i become!!!

omg this is my problem i am a HUGE binger food is so comforting when your bored..i always binge the day before i start a diet..usually i neva end up even starting these diets i need to stop it way of life! it ruining me body and soul

i hear ya on that one...somebody save us!! hehe

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What have i become!!!

I too am in the same boat as all of you.

I was really enjoying reading all your thoughts and challenges. I was a little sad when I got to the end of the thread, I just wanted more. Your sharing and thoughts are really helpful.

This is my first time here. I too am a binge eater. In fact, allow me a moment to share with you what I decided to have last night on the way home.

All the way, I was thinking about eating. Eating anything, anything that was bad and highly fattening that is...so where do I go. To the fast food chain that is round the corner. Ordered a hamburger and a small fries. Not to bad you say, right? Wrong.....what I haven't mentioned is that now I'm on a Metabolic Diet.

I have been on it for two weeks already. During these two weeks you're not supposed to eat any fruit, no beans, nothing that grows under ground, no daily or no junk and no alcohol. Just lean protein and leafy green vegetables. That's it.

So, I was on it for two weeks. Went back to the doctor and only lost 5 pounds (the diet claims that you'll lose between 7-15 in those first 2 weeks) So I was happy with my 5, but knew that if I hadn't cheated (1st a beer and baked samosas, then a bagel with spinach and feta, then mini cheesecake, chocolate mousse, and other assorted pastries, then buns, chili, and candy too.

I went back to the doctor and was told to go back on the 2 weeks again and do it over. So that was Monday. What did I go and buy as soon as I left the doctors office (since I thought this was my window to eat) Danishes and muffins, then chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. That was Monday.

Yesterday (was supposed to be my day to start fresh and go on this diet "for real) so on my way home I couldn't stop to think about hamburgers and fries.
I went to one drive through, got a hamburger and a small fries. Ate on the way to my destination, then disposed of the evidence, ran my errand. Got back into the car and went to another location of the same fast food place and ordered the same thing again. Small fry and hamburger.

But that wasn't it. I thought to myself...if I've already blown my fresh start; why not go all the way. So I stopped at a local convenience store...disposed of the evidence again and went in to load up on junk. Chocolate bars, Turtles and Chocolate Covered Malt balls. Went home and ate every last one. Felt SOOO sick and disgusted with myself. Fell asleep on the couch and woke up in a panic that my husband might come home and find the wrappers.

So I disposed of that evidence too. I packaged it all up and hid in my computer back, to be thrown out at the office where no one will see my garbage.

I'm hoping that by sharing with you all that I too can find support and guidance. And give the same back. This is an evil thing that plagues us. It takes over and even though we know that we shouldn’t, we're putting these things in our mouth. Time and time again. Why? Why do we do it? Are we really happy? Does it make us happy? I know that I feel awful.

I read someone earlier say that they drink lots and lots of water. That will be the first new thing that I try beginning now.

I have had a good day so far. Only thing that I've had is a boiled egg for breakfast, oil & vinegar salad for lunch and water with crystal lite. Let's hope that I can get through the rest of the day and have really begun this new chapter and diet.

Thank you for listening everyone.

Oh my gosh, I am SOOOOO glad I found this thread! At times I thought I was the only one with this problem. I'm a binge eater from way back. The evening before I joined this forum I couldn't get Dairy Queen's Blizzards off my mind. So what did I do? I gave in to the demon in my head and went to the nearest Dairy Queen. Fortunately I only had a small Blizzard when I usually have at least a medium. Then I had to stop by Walgreens to get some medicine, and of course I had to buy some candy, cookies, and chips to eat on the way home. And I live a half-hour away from where I work, so I have lots of time to eat! I've been known to go through a fast food drive thru and eat a hamburger and fries and then go home and eat a full supper. I can't seem to go into a grocery store without buying junk food. I, too, hide my "stash" at home and then throw away the wrappers at work so my family doesn't know I've been binging. Most of the time I feel so helpless to stop the binging, but I'm hoping that you all will give me strength and positive thoughts to help me on my way. And I'll certainly return the favor. We can all beat this thing!!!

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I also just found this thread. I'm very happy about that. I read every one from the beginning. It seems like people don't stay around here so much as they do the other threads. I wonder why that is? I would really like to talk to people about this. I have known for a long time that I have an "eating disorder" and I have for sometime considered my self addicted to food. I have known drug addicts and they act no differently. Hiding it. Feeling ashamed. Doing something over and over again that is so bad for you that you very well could die from it eventually. Reading all the post for me was sad, but this is the first time I have ever heard regular people speak about it. I used to binge until I really felt like I had to throw-up. I never did...and I actually have wished that I was bulimic, so that I could just get rid of it!! Isn't that gross? I don't know when that actually stopped. I started eating a lot healthier and getting more exercise about a year and a half ago. I lost about 30lbs but have gained it all back. I stopped going to the gym about 6-8 weeks ago and I eat way too much. I hope I can find some people to stick around here and share some thoughts in the future.

Omg. As some other people have already said, I never thought the day would come when I'd meet a group of "normal", real, every-day people who suffer with the same problems I do.

I admit to being a binger as well. My last one was Monday. It may sound weird, but as I'm stuffing myself I tend to read diet websites etc, preparing for tomorrow when I'll start "for real".

I feel so hopeless. It seems that even if a few people have beaten this, we will never ever eat like normal people because we'll always be obsessing about food and what food is better and how much is enough.

I just want to be normal. Eat what I want, stop when I'm full, be healthy. I have lots of friends and family who just wat that way and they don't have problems. Since they eat normally, when faced with the choice of an ice cream, for example, they don't immdeiately jump on the biggest, fattiest, most chocolate-ey thing they see - they may feel like sorbet, for example, and have that, or *gasp* no ice cream at all. Do they care? No. They can have the chocolate monster any other time they might feel like it.

I want to be like that - re-learn to eat like a kid...

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I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try

I don't know if I can ever be normal....I think that to lose the weight I have to be obsessed with losing the weight. That is why it is so hard for me to weigh out food and count calories. I don't want to be obsessed with food...that is my problem. I am trying not to be obsessed with food. I think it really is something you have to take a day at a time as the ole AA saying goes.

I didn't binge today (but the days not over), but I did eat a maple cinnamon roll which I KNOW has an outrageous amount of calories. So why did I eat it if I am trying to lose weight? I don't hate myself. In fact, I am pretty fond of myself. I'm a good person, funny, helpful, easy going etc.... So why would I do that? Is that roll going to make me feel good? Yes! There is something about the taste of food (especially sweets for me) that makes me feel great. I think that there really is a chemical reaction that happens. I just need to convince myself that the short term "feel good" is not worth the long term health issues. That's my rant for the day. I dont' know how old you are Cecilia, but if you are younger, it is really good that you are thinking about these things now! Good Luck!

today is day two that i am trying this expulsion of my eating habits as a way to curb my eating. however, yesterday started out great and ended awfully.

yesterday morninig i was on a great eating and exercise track, until i went to busch gardens and realized how fat i really am, especially compared to what i remember from the last time i went. i stayed out of breath and hot, which i think was due to the massive hills that i had to climb throughout the park. Actually, now that i think about it, walking thru the park was a good form of exercise, but it resulted in me being terribly thirsty and hungry. so, when me and my cousin left (who is also struggling with weight problems) we made an aweful choice for food: tropical smoothie.

there, we both tried to pick the best choices from the devilish menu, with me ending up with a chicken caesar wrap, chips and a soda. now, it tasted like heaven, but probably weighs like hell. But, after that i thought i was done eating, that was until i visited another cousin who is graduating from high school this weekend. in celebration of her struggle, at about 930 pm, i had two pieces of fried chicken and a piece of white bread, which was finally the last thing that i put into my mouth.

but, with my faulty thinking, i rationalized eating the bread and chicken by saying that i had an intense workout at busch gardens, therefore i would have worked it off...WRONG!

anyway, to start off fresh, i have started my day with a breakfast that consists of an apple and an orange. i am going to fill up my water bottle and make a vow to myself to stop stepping on the scale every single day. i have found that weighing myself everyday is not good because my weight fluctuates something terrible. today i could weight 225...tomorrow 223...the next day 226, which makes me sad and then i eat to comfort myself. so i will start weighing myself on mondays and fridays, how's that sound?

until later today

Famouschic,

When I read your latest post I was so surprised to hear someone that does the same thing that I do. I will step on and off the scale about 5 times each morning, 5 times when I get home from work and another 5 times before I go to bed, just to see if I've gained or lost.

Sounds like from what you're saying it's making us crazy. I'm the same, up 2 pounds in the evening, then 3 pounds lighter in the morning, then by 6:00 p.m. up again. Up, down, up down etc.

I think that weighing yourself only once a week would be the best idea. That means that you'll have had a full 7 days for your body to adjust. It's probably also best to pick the same time. So every morning for example, you step on once and then that's it till the next week. I think that I'm going to start doing that today. No more stepping on till next Friday. What do you say? Would you like to join me in that challenge?

To give an update on my progress. I thought that I had posted yesterday but seems like it didn't work. I have since joining this thread seemed to have won the binge battle for 3 whole days.

Don't get me wrong, I think about all the things that I could eat all the time. I crave all day long, but I've been drinking water and lots and lots of water. To the point where I'm feeling really full and can feel the water moving in waves in my belly. However, with some Crystal Lite, it seems to help a bit with my sweet crazings.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like it can ever replace the wonderful feeling of eating chocolate or pastry or cakes etc. Nothing compares. But it's tricking myself into not doing damage to myself.

I'm giving it my all. Hopefully by this time next week I can proudly report no binges. Keep your fingers crossed all. Let's support each other through this.

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yes i will challenge you to stay off of the scale. although it was before this declaration, i actually had my first temptation about twenty minutes ago. right before i ate brunch i was in the kitchen and had the urge hit...i ran up about four steps...thought...fought...had a fit...and turned around after realizing that i was just setting myself up for a failure.

One up for me. I am very happy that i was able to fight the temptation, not to mention that i have met some compulsive people like myself who dont pass judgement, just support.

i also want to disclose that i think that i might have an oral fixation. i dont know if you all know anything about freud, but i truely believe that i was and always will be stuck in that developmental stage. the reason that i believe this is that i didnt stop sucking my thumb until i was fifteen...then i started smoking...afterwards i really got big and started eating alot, once i quit...i started smoking again, lost some weight...stopped smoking, and gained weight again. hopefully by cathartically disclosing some of my issues with food i will ultimately be able to break this vicious cycle.

any comments are welcome

I think I have done everything that you all have done one time or another. And like alcoholics, I think I'll always be a binge eater. Hopefully I'll get it under control and it will be easier to not binge as time goes on, but I love the taste of food and I suppose I always will. Unlike alcoholics, though, we can't quit eating, so the temptation will always be there. Definitely mind over matter, as they say.

I haven't binged since joining the forum on Tuesday. Yea for me! I think it has really helped to have this club support so I always know that I'm not alone in my struggles. I've also stayed away from stores that have junk food in them. I know I'll have to go sooner or later, but maybe I'll be alittle "stronger" by then just from talking to everyone here about our problem.

Oral fixation ... hadn't thought about that one before. It definitely sounds plausible to me even though I don't read Freud.

I hope everyone has a great and binge-free weekend!

P.S. I, too, have decided to only weigh once a week. I may even go once every two weeks eventually. Don't know about that yet. Something to think about.

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Thanks, you too

I think I'm going to follow your example and stay out of temptation's reach. I have the best intentions, but when I'm faced with it I tend to succumb...

After a reasonable amount of time I think it will get easier.

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I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try

Good Afternoon! I hope you are all having a good day. So far so good for me. I lost 3 lbs this week so I am feeling more hopeful. I would not find it far fetched that and eating disorder could be partially from an oral fixation. I know that trauma in childhood can stunt your development in many ways. I am not assuming anything about you famouschic, but my own development was stunted in many ways until a good bout of therapy helped me out. As far as the scale thing goes...I am so glad I don't have that problem I don't envy you two. I am just the opposite. I have to make myself get on. Nothing depresses me more than looking at a scale. I bought one a year ago and have been on it 3 times. Once to set it when I got it and two times since I started my journal on this forum. I went 20yrs and never even had a scale in my house. Hmmm?? Maybe that wasn't such a good idea? Now look at me I talked to my Dr. once about women and weight. He told me that women can fluctuate as much as 5lbs a day w/just fluid retention so don't stress about a lb here or there. On the other hand, they say that if you dring enough water, you won't retain fluids.

I am feeling very much in control today for some reason. Maybe the weight loss this morning? I also find that if I keep drinking water it helps. I have weighed myself the last two Fridays, so I guess that is going to be my day to weigh in.

Anyway...hope your are doing well today with not binging. Take Care.