So I decided to start this thread for a little support during the hard times. I'm Annie, I'm 18, on multiple medications, and I would call myself a binge eater. I lost, initially, about 50 pounds, but then I got a little bit depressed. I didn't notice it, mostly because I've lived with depression most of my young life, but it affected me very much.

I withdrew, and found myself eating, alone, in my room with the blinds closed and lights turned off and the tv glowing next to the unused treadmill in my room. It's gotten ridiculous. Every time I find myself alone, I down an entire package of chocolate chip cookies, eat several scoops of ice cream or a few bowls of chips... I've even eaten a whole bowl of whipped cream when there was nothing else.

I need support, I need a group where together we can show support for those of us having a hard time, celebrate when someone has a whole day, week, or month without bingeing. I know there are people like me out there who are searching for people who understand us when we say we just cannot stop eating.

Please, if you are dealing with this, just stop in to at least let me know I'm not alone in my struggle.


Annie

hey Annie!

you are certainly not alone.

I know what is like to deal with depression, oh boy is a handful. binge eating is so awful because sometimes you don't even realize you are doing it- I kind of eat in an automatic mode every time I felt bad. I even hid food from my parents and ate it by myself, just like yourself.
I've handled full liters of ice cream and packages of cookies just like that. and the feeling afterwards.. boy.

and congratulations on your weight loss, if you did it once you'll do it again. it seems like you are already on the right track!
the advice I could give you, is don't let the depression get to you once you have a binging episode. write it down, recognize the pattern but don't let it pull you down! stare food in the eye and let food know that you can't be controled.

good luck and I am here for you
Diana

Thank you for your kind words, Diana.
It really frustrates me that I've done it once, and it was really really hard, but I did it, and now I've gone and messed it all up.

But I start my wellbutrin tomorrow! Everything will be better, day by day...

I have hope.

Hi ladies,

I too am what I would consider a binge eater. I would be interested in supporting and seeking support through this group. I usually feel like a drug addict because my binge eating is so secretive and usually loaded with lies. "Hey honey, I'm just going to pick up some fertilizer at Home Depot" usually means I'm going to binge at Wendy's and then pick up the fertilizer that I really don't need. I just need and excuse to go binge.

Like you Annie, I suffer from depression which is tied to my weight and food issues. For me it's like the chicken or the egg debate. Which came first? The depression or the eating.

Feel free to share openly as it will be received with support and without judgment, as I know what you are struggling with.

Cheers,

Hello!

Sorry to hear about all of you suffering from Binge eating disorder. Having an eating disorder can definitely ruin your life. I have some advice! Let me start by saying that I'm not a "doctor". However, when it comes to this topic, I feel like I am more educated than a doctor because your average doctor has no idea what this feels like unless they have lived through it.

I'm the minority here; a male that recovered from eating disorders. I don't mind talking about it at all, because I've survived this hellish lifestyle and I'm proud to say that I made it out alive. Although it took several incredibly painful years of trial and error, I finally found a way to "cure" my eating disorder issue (binge, anorexia, bulimia), and I'd like to share it with you in the hopes that it might help somebody.

The best advice I can give is to tell you to start a journal, right now. Write down what happens during the day, and how you are feeling before/during/after binges. If you're lazy, you don't have to write in it everyday; that's fine. Over time, when you get an urge to binge, take a look back in the journal. You will read how miserable you were in the past. One day while you're reading, something will "click" in your head and you will stop and really evaluate your life.

You will start wondering things like:

-Why am I doing this to myself?
-I'm not hungry, so why am I hoarding all this food?
-Why do I eat in secrecy?
-Why do I live like this?
-What was life like before I starting thinking about food 24 hours a day?

In my experience, that "click" was when the changes started happening, and I began to win the war. I didn't want to live like the old journal version of myself anymore. I realized that there is way more to life than food.

Anyways, I tried to keep this post short ~ guess I failed! Always willing to help anyone suffering from an eating disorder in any way that I can. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it.

Mike

Hi Candace!
I guess at this point, I'm lucky that I can't drive, because I can't drive to get food. I just have to eat what's there, but I can't make it too obvious that I binged... although it becomes obvious when the can of whipped cream bought two days ago is completely empty, and the empty chips ahoy cookie package is upside down in the trash.

I started researching and reading books on eating disorders a long time ago when I was doing really well on my diet. I want to be an eating disorder counselor, but I think I should probably stop my disordered eating before I can tell other people how to stop theirs.

Can anybody honestly tell me they've never been so incredibly frustrated with their eating habits that they've never envied an anorexic's will power?

Has anyone entertained thoughts of bulimia because it sounds so much easier than stopping bingeing?

I have to say, I've had those thoughts, but I've never gone that road because 1) I like myself, despite my body, and I couldn't put myself through that. and 2) I recognize that I have a very addictive personality, which is why I never started smoking, drinking, or anything like that, and I don't need another addiction in addition to food.

I already go to sleep at night thinking about what I'm going to eat the next day, whether I'm going to allow myself some ice cream or whipped cream and whether that will lead to a binge... every minute I'm alone I'm thinking about where my mom hid the cookies and whether anyone will notice if I accidentally eat half a bag of chips.

I'm trying to quit diet soda at the same time as trying to stop bingeing... and I'm not sure that's the best idea. I don't know... when I'm not drinking, I'm eating, but I'm not sure how much diet soda makes me crave, and how much it stops me eating other crap.

I've been looking at a few self-help books.... the one I bought is really really hard to read. It's not very helpful, and it's poorly written. So, DON'T buy "Crave: Why You Binge Eat And How To Stop" by Cynthia M. Bulik Ph.D.

I bought "Binge No More: Your Guide to Overcoming Disordered Eating" by Joyce D. Nash, and it is really easy to read. I haven't gotten to the self-help part yet, but so far it's pretty good.

And this entire post is written in an effort to not have dessert... So far it's working!!

I agree. That's why I want to be an eating disorder counselor... once I deal with mine. My cousin is bulimic, and she just lives a tortured life. I can tell when she's sitting eating dinner with the family, she's trying to figure out how fast she can get to a bathroom. It's tearing her family apart. That's why I couldn't even start to think about purging... I couldn't do that to my parents, and to myself.

I did that once... Now I'm looking to do that again.

It may seem sad, but I don't even remember.

I really appreciate you stopping by. It feels good to know that it IS possible to overcome this.

Thank you!

Annie

I haven't binged in a few years now, looking back I feel so sorry for myself because I was so depressed. Loneliness, and a job that I hated among other things were the catalysts to my binging. I think it started with ordering pizzas that I would eat all by myself. That, and eating whole packs of Milano cookies and such. Every now and then when I'm at the supermarket I like to go look at the Milanos and feel powerful knowing that they don't rule my life anymore

I've overcome my binging, mainly by finding happiness in my life, leaving the job that I hated, and finding things that I enjoy and that won't make me fat

Anyway, some things that might help:

- baby carrots!!! as with all addictions part of food addiction is likely just the act of going to the fridge, getting something and putting it in your mouth...the baby carrot solution I found by accident!! always keep 'em in the fridge and not only are you avoiding eating other things but they're good for you and have fiber

- find a role model, if you're female find some classy, vintage actress that you admire for her style, grace, or 'ladylike behavior' hehe...for example Audrey Hepburn, Marylin Monroe or it could be generic, I like to use 'European women' (a stereotype I know), and whenever tempted to binge think 'Would so and so do this?', would it be classy? ...who do I want to be like?..use vanity to your benefit!! (this might work better if you do things to keep yourself feeling beautiful like a manicure, pedicure, wearing earrings etc)

- the binging usually occurs in private, because we are ashamed of what we are doing....so why do we respect others' opinion of us more than our own? shouldn't we be as sensible to our view of ourselves? respect ourselves as much as we respect others' perception of us? so this should be a thought process when tempted to binge



also watch movies that you can identify with!! in my case I LOVE Bridget Jones Diary!! weight loss and binging are topics covered in the movie

Thanks, greentearocks!
I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), and being on 5 different medications that all have side effects of weight gain really doesn't help my quest for weight loss. Mainly I depend on the medicine to keep my mood semi-stable, recently I tapered off my wellbutrin... and I'm going back on it starting tomorrow.

With me, the problem isn't so much that I'm tempted to binge, it's that I don't even think about it when I do it until I'm 2/3 of the way through a pack of cookies, and by that point, I suffer from the "What the hell, may as well eat the rest" syndrome... I really need to work on my "All-or-Nothing" mentality.

Thanks for visiting, you don't know how much it helps to know I'm not going crazy.

Annie

: ( Bulimia may increase your bingeing, because you will feel like you can eat whatever you want. The body absorbs food quickly, and that's why a good amount of bulimics actually gain weight over time. Only about 50% of the calories eaten in a single session can be purged; the rest is already in your system.

You will also feel sick, dizzy, drained, and have headaches all day long (depending on the frequency of your binge/purge sessions). It damages your organs and the lining of your throat, wears away at your teeth, increases your thoughts of depression/suicide, develops an irregular heartbeat, and causes you to have permanent "chipmunk" face (swolen glands) which will make you even more depressed.

Bulimia progressively destroys you, and it is extremely difficult to overcome. Imo it is the worst out of the three.

This was a friendly way of attempting to clear those thoughts out of your head Annie!

Hi Annie,

I also deal with major depression bi/polar and I used to think about suicide every day in the past. I felt miserable, and then I got addicted to an online game at age 12. This changed everything, I went from being skinny and underweight all my life to becoming obese. The game made me bitter, and angry. I just quit it a couple weeks ago (and don't plan to go back), and decided to start an excerise program and eating right again. Congratulations on losing 50 lbs, that's incredible, the most I ever lost was 36 lbs in a boot camp.....

I think what you need to do is change your self talk/body image. I got the Dr.phil book for teens by jay mcgraw, it takes about changing your inner self first. It helps and covers alot of topics. You may want to subistute one action for another. What is something you enjoy ? Say you enjoy reading...everytime you think about eating something, read a good book you enjoy. Or another activity you enjoy.

Also I suggest you get all the junk food in your house, get rid of it. If you don't have the junk food in the house, you're more likely to eat healthy. People have willpower, but it only lasts so long. One too many times seeing your friend eat buttered popcorn in a movie theatre and you go back to it.

Buy healthy food, celery, fresh fruit, vegetables, apples. The fiber in the apples will make you feel more full, and since you have to chew it, and it takes awhile to chew, it has a psychlogical effect. It also has low calories. In the book he talks about "high response food" and "low response food" which means say you have a bean burrito. The ones you just pop in the microwave and eat . These can be very high in calories. You pop it in, take it out, and eat it. It basically 'melts' in your mouth and slivers down your throat, you barely have to chew it. Because this happens so fast, your body has no time to register that you ate anything, and you can consume an ungodly amount of calories in a very short amount of time.

Take time to enjoy and savor your food, you can get a more full feeling this way.
Hope this helps

Hey Annie and all folks!

Annie, you are not alone. While I feel I have finally curbed my binge eating, I know how you feel. I've heard the reason people eat out of comfort (especially fatty foods) is because the two most energy consuming things are stressing and digesting fats. Thus the body can't handle both at the same time, so we eat to divert the stress. I remember when I was a young kid I would hide food in my room and eat it in my closet. I would hide entire packets of cookies, raw packages of hotdogs, and entire family size bags of m and m's this got out of control and I put on weight. Bulimia is certianly not the answer as well. Speaking from experience. Bulimia will NOT make you thin. I was diagnosed and had to do the therapy bit for bulimia at 215 lbs. Bulimia is just a release. You can't get rid of all the calories. I had to have absesses removed from my throat and my molars were caroded. Please don't ever go down that road. Its really just a pain. I agree with Mike's suggestion of keeping your food journal and writing what you're feeling as well as quantity of food eaten. This will give you a realistic picture of what's going on. Also, when you first start, don't deprive yourself of things you like just because you want your journal to look good. Everything is good in moderation. Good luck! Its hard but you can do it.

Yes, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I've seen my cousin go through bulimia, she has that "chipmunk face", her teeth and mouth are really bad, she has completely succumb to her obsession with food. She's completely withdrawn from any semblance of a social life. She didn't attend her best friend's graduation because she was too busy bingeing. While it may have passed through my thoughts, I know I have an extremely addictive personality and there is absolutely no way I could purge and not have the obsession overtake my entire life. I just couldn't do that to my body, either.




I think that's something I need to work on. I keep getting so down on myself after I binge.... it makes for a really depressing day.
I wish I could. People keep bringing junk into the house, and I can't stop them!!
OH MY GOD. That is EXACTLY what my therapist and I were talking about the other day.
Thank you so much!


Thank you. It means so much to me.
I agree. Completely.

Thank you all so much. I truly appreciate your kind words and advice.

<3

Yea that would help, but most of the time the house is shared with others so that's difficult.

Don't forget though, you can't completely deprive yourself of "junk food". You need to be able to have a treat now and then - to help stay sane, and reward yourself for not bingeing. If you don't, your desire to eat junk food will rise and rise... until you can't take it anymore. Then a massive binge will be triggered.

Which would you feel more guilty about eating for breakfast? One doughnut, or a dozen doughnuts?

That's a good point, how often though? once a month? one day a week?