What do you think?

I try to explain to my boyfriend that it's normal for women to want to improve the way they look. Many women want to lose at least just a little weight, even the skinny ones, and it's normal to want our hair to look nice so we dye it and style it, remove hair from unwanted places, put on lotion that's supposed to get rid of cellulite... wear something flattering, get a tan, do our nails.

He argues with me that the majority of women are NOT like this, and it's NOT NORMAL to put that kind of presser on ourselves. I know it might not be right, but I think all the women I know strive to perfect their look.

Or am I really far off?

of course every woman wanna look their best

it's just the matter of time and money, i always believe .. well in my case anyway ..

although i have the money to get a tan or dye my hair in some saloon, i just don't see it as a money priority ..

so i do the best i can do with a comb, a shaver and just get nicer clothes .. if possible ..

but if given the choice, every woman wants to look their very best, even grandmas and housewives

Definitely, every woman wants to look her best!!

Even in the army, women strive to look amazing. It's just a way of life.

I think your boyfriend is wrong about the pressure women are under - but most men don't really get that.

There is an ENORMOUS amount of pressure on women to look a certain way - from the media, from movies, from TV, from magazines and newspapers, from our peers, from ourselves. Clothing styles are developed and designed around a certain type of body. Makeup and hair products to alter our looks and "hide flaws" are marketed to women in quantities far above and beyond what they are to men.

That said, there are women who are more interested or less interested - and there are those who can be obsessed with it. Perhaps your boyfriend feels that you are becoming obsessed with some of these things? Or perhaps he prefers you to be more "natural" (not saying ungroomed, just less made up)?

I do many of the things you talked about. I dye my hair, I get my toes done, I have regular waxing done, I dress nicely - but I don't spend excessive amounts of time or money on them. I wear some makeup, but not a lot - usually a little powder for shine, some lipstick and mascara. That's it. I asked my guy one time if he thought I should wear more, and he said actually he prefers me w/out makeup. He understands why I wear what I do (social norms, work appearance, etc.), but he personally doesn't find women who wear a lot of makeup to be attractive. I asked him if he had an opinion about my hair and he laughed and said it was fun to see who he would be dating today - a redhead, a brunette, etc. - but that as far as feeling like I needed to dye it, he would not care if I left it it's natural color (with streaks of gray).

So there are some guys who just don't think women need to do all the things they do. And, fwiw, my guy doesn't like to kiss me right after I've applied lipstick - he says it tastes bad.

So maybe your guy just wishes you'd back off on the intensity of what you're doing.

I don't wear make-up. I dress neatly, but comfortably. I don't mess up my feet with heels. I can't stand pantyhose, particularly anything that is labeled 'support'. I don't wear spanx or any of that other cut off your circulation suck your gutt in type of undergarments.

I do dye my hair because I got some highlights in the summer and now my hair if left to its own devices would be 20 shades of red, brown and blonde (mental note: never hightlight hair again...it's a pain in the neck and it fries your hair). I am too active to be bothered with doing my nails. I cut them and keep them close to the quick. I don't pluck my eyebrows or wax or any of that other self-inducing painful shearing most women do. I keep myself clean and healthy and if a man does not find that attractive, then that's not the man for me...period.

Don't get me wrong I don't condemn anyone who does these things, but I personally just don't have the time or desire to impress anyone that badly.

Kara said it best id say.


I tend to wear the eyeliner, foundation, mascara, and lipgloss... i dont go heavy on blush, eyeshadow etc.... just not me.


But my boyfriends fav look of mine?
sweatpants, baggy tshirt, pony tail hair and no make up..... or very little... and my glasses LOL


me... i think i look horendous like that. I think girls high expectations of themselves come from movies and those men who expect their woman to wake up in the morning and look liek that.....


but really... most 'decent' men... like their woman to be comfortable in their skin to a healthy degree.... not so comfortable that you just let yourself 'go'.... but comfortable enough that you are OK wiht running to the store to grab milk without freshening up your lip liner!!!



lets face it... our glamour process scares and confuses the hell out of most men LOL

I usually wear make up, but I'm not afraid to go out of the house without it.

I dye my hair on a regular basis, mostly because I think my hair is too light to match my eyebrows, and I look weird.

I always am striving to look better. I like buying new clothes. Tighter jeans and stuff that is "in style".

I want to look cute.

The thing that drives my husband the most crazy, is sometimes when we're going somewhere, I will change my clothes 3-4 times because I "look fat" in what I'm wearing. I think every woman does that sometimes though.

I'm a tomboy, so I just really keep people guessing. I wore a dress to work yesterday, but I'm wearing jeans and a tee-shirt today. I shaved my head two months ago so I wouldn't have to worry about fixing or putting dye in it anymore (letting it grow back out, but I doubt I will allow it to get much longer than it is now, which is about at a "pixie crop").

Makeup is a "if I feel like it" thing for me. I might wear makeup once or twice a week, but most of the time I'll go without. If I go out partying though, I'll make a bit more of an effort.

I hate pantyhose and heels. I don't have a skin care regimen (though I should, as fair-skinned as I am) and I don't wax. (Do pluck and shave though.) I can't stand carrying a purse. I have fingernail polish on now, but it's only because of Halloween. I always keep my nails short because I have to type in my profession and typing with long nails squicks me; besides that, I am forever breaking them.

Really, I am just not a girly girl.

WOW, YOU SHAVED YOUR HEAD!?! YOU'RE BRAVE!


I also need to mention that I love wearing heels. I only started wearing them a year ago, and I still only have one pair...

but I really wish I could go out and spend $500 on heels and dresses.

I'm way new at "dressing like a girl".

Yup, sure 'nuff. Here are the pics in attachment, just to prove how much of a tomboy I am (one from the office, one from an anti-G20 Summit protest in Pittsburgh a few weeks back).

I like dresses for the practicality of them. You just slip 'em on and go.

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You are so cute!! I love it!! You pulled it off really well!

I am sorta tomboyish as well...always have been. But at the same time, I am also 40. As you get older, you tend to become a bit more comfortable in your own skin and a lot more outspoken...lol. When I was younger, I was a lot more interested in making the outer wrapping more appealing to the opposite sex than now. Now, I am more interested in making my body healthier and strong from the inside out.

Not everybody does it to impress others. Though sadly, too many people do.

I absolutely love makeup and it is one of my passions. Whether people care to believe it or not, it is an art. I wear it most days because I don't mind taking the time to do it, and like I said, it is an art and I love applying it. If I could sit in my room for five hours and do nothing but apply makeup differently 20 times in a row, I would be content because that is how much I enjoy it. Will I break out into a massive panic attack if I don't wear it in public? Absolutely not. All of my friends and co-workers have seen me without makeup. I enjoy it because it is a form of self-expression. I also love clothing too, because that too is another way that I choose to express myself. If I was living out in a mountain in the middle of nowhere, I wouldn't change a thing. I do it solely for myself.

Another thing, I don't care if someone wants to not wear makeup at all or take the time to wax etc. and etc. This is just a personal preference and I couldn't imagine EVER condemning someone for not enjoying the same things that I enjoy.

What's funny is that the societal pressure that women are under isn't perpetuated by men nearly to the degree that it is by other women. Most of the men I've come across in my life agree that skinny or too made-up is bad and unattractive, and prefer women who look natural and healthy. Yet most women are obsessed with finding ways to make themselves more aesthetically appealing.

I mean, how many times do we as women want to look nice simply because we want to "look hotter" than another woman, and less because we're trying to directly impress a man?

I think you're spot on. At least that's how I am.