Here I am confessing. Saturday I lost control, and I cheated on my food-plan. Then again on sunday and monday but I am proud to admit that I have gained control again, and have been eating exactly according to my food-plan today. Not cheating anymore and it seems I have found my right track again.

I have been contemplating over the reasons for my cheat. The only reason I can find is that I was simply very hungry in a physical way, it seemed like my body was making me eat. I know it sounds like a lame excuse but I have not felt very good the last weeks and on monday I got very sick. The symptoms are exactly as having a bad case of the flu, except I dont have a cold or sore throat with it. Just very tired, feel aches all over my body, and my skin on the left side of my body is really sore, like the pain from a cold sore. Because of becoming sick I think my body system was wanting more nutrition, therefore causing this intense physical hunger. It didnt feel that I was falling for a physical or psychological craving, but rather a very deep-rooted physical urge to get more nutrition. To get accountable for my cheating I am announcing that my current weight is 325 lbs / 147.6 kg. I know most of it is liquid in the body, since my fingers are all puffed up, cant even put my rings on (they were even gettig too wide before) and I know it can take some days or weeks to all that excess liquid out, but I have to face the fact that I put on some lbs through unhealthy eating.

I have decided that this failure is going to be used in a positive way. It will teach me that I am not flawless, that I can fail as anybody else, and it certainly has made see that I was kind of arrogant towards other people that couldnt follow their diet and had difficulties controlling their cravings. This will teach me that being arrogant about my success only makes me over-confident and therefore easier target for my own self-deception that will eventually lead to failure and will make me lose control. This will teach me how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to get on the right track again. I will not use this failure to tear down my confidence in succeeding. I will not use this failure to feel unadequate and a loser. I will use this failure to see that in the end I am the winner, because besides getting off the track I got on the track again and thats whats important. The failure is not the thing that is important, overcoming the failure is whats important.

YAY for your great attitude and gaining control again!!!!!!!!

Well I'm happy to hear that youre back on track. Keep up the good work.

Gluttony might be one of the seven deadly sins, but pride is, too. It's good to see things through humble eyes, because we just never know what is lying around the corner. Hang in there, and just try to make the way you eat something you can stick with for a lifetime - that way you won't be too susceptible to the dangers of cheating.

Tiny update:

I have lost 3 lbs since yesterday, just flushed fluid mostly, I think. Now I can feel how bad I felt eating sugar. I was so tired, depressed and frankly I looked awful, my face puffed, tired eyes and a grey pale complexion. Well now I have gotten that sparkle in my eyes again (thats healthy-food-sparkle) and gotten back on the program, determined to learn my lesson.

Here is another update. I got a call from my doctor today with the results from the analysis of my blood. I had expected a call from her tomorrow, but she called me right away and wants me to come to an appointment tomorrow because it seems that I have Hypothyroidism (when there arent produced enough hormones, so the metabolism slows down, and you gain weight).

Well that could be an good explanation why I wasnt losing weight the last one and half month despite following the program!!! When i think of it I have felt very tired and lethargic the last month and I have been experienced more hunger for food then the previous months.
I just hope that there will be a solution for this medical problem, because I sure cant hold on not losing weight month after month, despite all my hard work.