I dont get it. I want so bad to lose weight, but I dont have the motivation..im good for a week or two, and right back to where I was, giving up.

My worst fear is to get seriously sick or something worse if I dont take care of my weight..

I'm 5'1 about im guessing right now 195lbs, I gained about 35-40lbs since I started living on my own a year ago, and I am seriously getting worried. My clothes are limited to wear, I'm totally paranoid that im going to suffer a heart attack if I dont shape up the way im living. It really scares me, im only 21.

I would love to be healthy again, I hate feeling like im trapped in my own body when I want to do some activities, even walking up stairs is a challenge when there was a time where it was no problem. its driving me crazy.

Tried weight watchers for a couple weeks, but got discouraged after I learned my weight was staying the same, and the last time I weighed in, I had gained .2lbs...and never went back in, feeling defeated.

I joined a gym, and havent been in there in alittle over a month, I'm not sleeping right, my self esteem is way down, I am tired ALL the time, waking up all hours of the night for no reason, and I feel miserable about it..

I eat junk everyday, and I know I shouldnt, but its so hard.

I'm not sure of what to do, and this was the best place I thought of for advice, as I have been here before.


I want so bad to beat this huge hurdle, that has put a huge crutch on my life... There are -so- many things I want to do, and I cant right now.

If anyone has an suggestions, I would appreciate it so much.

Thank you
-Jackie

It is my experience that if you have low self-esteem it is so much harder to keep motivated when you are losing weight. The reason is in my opinion that when you keep on having such negative view of yourself and body image, then you will have a bunch of negative thoughts in your mind that really sabotages the weight loss. I am sure that you recognize this example of the negative voices in your head, that are making you eat all that junk ....

"Go on eat that cake! It is so delicious, it will make you feel good all over if you eat that cake, you will fail on your diet anyways as you will fail at everything else, so just eat the darn cake, you will feel so much better, I promise!!"

And because you are eating all that junkfood then you will feel very bad mentally. Not only because you are failing your goal, but because junk-food has the affect on some people that they get depressed, because its simply very bad food nutrional wise. And that goes specially for the processed sugar (that is also in nearly every junkfood). I know its hard to belive but if I eat sugar then I get depressed, not only because I am cheating but because sugar has this affect on me. Not only do I get depressed, but I feel soooo tired and exhausted, and I have heard from so many people that they have the same experience with eating sugar. Some people can tolerate sugar, but some dont, simple as that. Another thing about sugar is that if you cant tolerate it then every time you eat something with sugar makes you want more and more and more, the same like alchohol is for the alchoholic. Sugar also slows the metabolism down, making the weightloss progress much slower.

I know people will disagree with me, but this is my own experience and I have been losing weight since january this year, and have lost a lot of weight (but not the last months, because of thyroid problem, it was slowing my metabolism down, making me lose no weight even when I followed the program, I have been taking medicine for it since yesterday and then I should start to lose weight).

The best thing is... Don't think of it as a diet. Think of it as a lifestyle change. In the past i have always found that as soon as i start thinking im dieting then i begin to fail.

Try picking up an active hobby... one that involves you running around and enjoying yourself with other people. You will be burning calories without even knowing it.

Start buying healthy food and thinking of ways you can make it more entertaining...

However...i know what you mean about the sugar. I still crave for sugar and bad things. lol

Ok, so a long time ago I had some really nasty and pathetic roommates. They were just wretched. I wasn't funny enough for them, I wasn't smart enough, I didn't wash the dishes fast enough...I swear I probably didn't pee the right way for them either!!! By the end of that freakin' year I was a pile of mush. I moved out and got my own apartment but by then the damage was done---my self-esteem was shot and I really did think that I was this piece of crap that they complained about for the whole year. Then I read a magazine article about 'the inner critic'.

The inner critic is that little voice in your head that keeps you down-trodden. 'What are you doing', 'You look like crap in that outfit', 'Why are you even trying, you'll never be good like them'. The critic also is very good at rationalizing. 'Go ahead, who cares if you get a little drunk' 'Umm, chocolates good...just have this candy bar and you can do your diet tomorrow!'.

It took me the entire summer to shut my inner critic up. Every time it reared its ugly head I seriously had to tell it to shut up. I know it sounds crazy....but sometimes we're the ones that are keeping ourselves in the bad situations. We have to seriously take contol and have a firm determination. We have to tell that critic to shut the heck up so that we can make ourselves into who we want to be.

Beretta: If you seriously want to lose weight, turn off the critic and start doing what it takes to get the weight off.

(eek...sorry if that's harsh)

there's some good advice above... especially the advice about not thinking about this as a diet and a lifestyle choice and change.

It's going to be a lot easier to do this now, then it is a in a few years... so take the bull by the horns and decide if you really want to do it.

When's the last time you went to a doctor for a medical checkup? You might want to strongly consider going to one just to make sure you are in tip top shape.

Moving out on your own is a huge change in your life, and can lead to a lot of what you are feeling. It's also the start of the best time of your life, and you don't want to be feeling blue.. You want to enjoy your life.

Look at that bag of potato chips or junk food. What is it giving you? Does it make you feel good about yourself? Probably not... don't use it as a crutch or a way to hide.

Start with easy goals for you to achieve and reward yourself when you achieve that goal. With non food rewards of course. You've got a gym membership - you paid money for that -- waste is bad... Go to the gym one day a week - see if there' a personal trainer that can work with you for a session or two to show you how to work the equipment so you get the most bang for your buck. This will also help with the depression that you are feeling. (While I believe that depression is an actual condition... I don't believe that treating it with drugs are a last resort, Ithink you should go to a doctor and see if you are diagnosed witht hat - because that can cause a lot of the things that you are feeling - and a big life change like moving out on your own canb ring about depression.. I think there are alternative treatments that shouldbe explored

u know once u develop confidence and self-esteem, you start to think that when you stick to the lifestyle change and excercise that weight actually will come off... and then it does, it just falls off. take it from me, once u've lost alot of weight, there is NO "yoyo-ing" or whatever its called lol. I've only tried to lose weight seriously once, and that one SERIOUS time its worked and i've never gone back up. the way you feel about yourself after is better than any signals your tastebuds can send to your brain.

A lot of good advice here. The best advice I can give you is to second Pinky's advice. Lifestyle Change.

You absolutely have to accept the fact that this is forever! Once you can come to terms with that, you can advance, or else you're dooming yourself to either gaining the weight back, or all out failure completely. For me, I just snapped one day, and decided no more fast food, no more sugary drinks, no more grease. I was lucky to have that happen. There was no flip flopping on "should I, shouldn't I" it was a done deal the moment that switch flipped in my head.