Well, I'm still relatively new here, but I noticed that more women than men are posting on this site. I know what the media says about women and their self-image, but I wanted to know what everyone here thinks:

1) Why do you think women are more likely to have body-image dysmorphia than men? (where they don't see realistic images of themselves when they look in the mirror - see themselves as fatter than they are).

2) Why do you think women reach out for support more than men do in their weight loss?

3) Why does it seem like more women than men are pursuing healthier lifestyles and the benefit of weight loss?

4) What sort of challenges do you think women face that are different than those of men in their weight loss journeys?

5) Do you think that the BMI is more accurate for men or for women?

For my part, I think that, despite all of the fighting we've done for equality, there is still a major imbalance between men and women when it comes to bodies. I believe, as evidenced by the ease with which men can buy big clothes and the difficulties I've had as a woman to do the same, that our society places less emphasis on men being in shape and fit than women. If asked why, I would have to say it has something to do with the barrage of images of sexy, beautiful, glittery and shiny women on TV, posing and dancing and writhing their way into our subconscious until the belief is that there is no other way to be. We compare ourselves to these women in magazines, who in real life would have suffocated because of their lack of pores, because these are what we see more than anything else, and these are the women our men drool over. I've yet to meet a guy with pinups of fat chicks all over his garage or bedroom!

I have no idea, personally, what my body looks like in comparison to other people. I don't know who I am bigger than and who I am smaller than. I'm forever asking, "Am I as big as that person?" Perhaps it is this poor sense of physical self, combined with the hot women featured everywhere, that lead to having a dysmorphic body image.

As far as support, I think that we, as women, have a need to know that we are normal. And we're not afraid to ask. Perhaps that differs from men?

I don't really know what direction I'm going with this post, except that to me, it feels like there is more emphasis for women to get in shape and become fit than there is for men. Could this have something to do with bearing children? Is it because we the "fairer sex" and should be nice to look at?

Are we doing this for ourselves, truly, or are we doing it for the rest of the world? I like to believe that I am doing this for me... I have support and encouragement from many people, but ultimately, I'm the one who'll reap the health benefits, and the other benefits too (eg men lining up at my door until the queue reaches well around the block... )

But I have to be honest - I genuinely feel unattractive as a fat person. Is it because I have poor self-esteem? Or is it because this is what I've been trained to believe men want?

As for BMI - I don't know how much faith I put in it. Right now, I have a BMI of 39.5, which means I'm 'morbidly obese'. Yet I consider myself to be merely overweight. (I have pictures at www.coreythestar.com/photoblog - you be the judge!) I have set a goal to lose 69lbs - which I'm not even sure I HAVE to lose (I told my dad lastnight that's what I wanted to lose and he was so surprised) - so if I reach that goal weight I'll be 170lbs - giving me a BMI of 29.2 - which is still considered overweight.

Anyway, maybe a random and scattered post, but I'm still interested in what people think!

I think for me personally, I see that women "should" be thin and beautiful, and men can look however they want. In my own life, my ex isn't in the best shape, the only exercise he gets is from work, and he eats junk and drinks too much beer. Didn't take care of his teeth either, but that's another post So we break up, and while I know I am a good person, kind, smart, etc. I'm too chubby for any one in this town to notice me. But he finds a thinner, pretty 18 year old who'll date him. Seems a bit off to me; I'm confused about it.

And yes, I think those women who dress skimpy and shake their butts on all those videos have something to do with it too. They bug the crap out of me

Does this have anything to your post, or am I just venting?!

That's spot on, Dari. I want to know if other people think that the socially acceptable woman is thin and beautiful, and what people's reasoning is behind this.

Me, I'm a fantastic person... fat or thin. But I'm convinced the reason people aren't interested in dating me is because I'm fat. I actually told my wonderful male friend that when I'm thin I won't want anything to do with him. Mind you, I had had a few drinks by then, but it was still a bitchy thing to say!! I apologized to him two weeks later and then qualified that I understand he's just not interested in dating anyone right now (nor am I) but still, somewhere in my frazzled brain, I'm convinced that he's just not interested in dating me becuse I'm fat. Illogical, and caused me to say something damaging... luckily, even though I couldn't take it back, I qualified what I meant and I think he understood.

Speaking as a weightloss male, I didn't decide to lose weight in order to date anyone, or be more attractive, but because I felt like crap all the time. I did it to care for my family (er ... and dog), but more than anything else, I did it for myself. I'm sure that different people on here have different motivations, but is there a divide based on gender?

BMI - more accurate for men than women, is it? I haven't really thought about it. I know that BMI is deeply flawed - that it doesn't account for body fat percentage, atheletic body types, etc, but it provides a nice simple guide to those who clearly do have health problems due to obesity, or are in danger of doing so.

Your argument does make me reflect on what makes or motivates people to lose weight in the first place. Is there a big difference between that of men and women?

Obviously, there are reasons other than the superficial for me to lose weight, but that can be included in the benefit, can't it? I mean, to know that I look as good as I feel... that'll be sweet.

I realize also, though, the other benefits of maintaining a healthy weight... decreased risk of diabetes, cardiovascular disease, heart attack, stroke... and that's what I'm more concerned about. Plus, I'm with you toothless: I FELT LIKE CRAP ALL THE TIME.

I hope that more people will post and share their motivation and their thoughts on this!

For me, it was finding out that the average life expectancy of people today is 120 years old. Here I was at 37 and feeling like I was well into my 50's because of poor diet and lack of exercise. I used to come out of work feeling like a train ran over me and the sad part of the matter is that I work sitting down all day long...something was obsviously VERY wrong!

So I did it. I got off my butt and started exercising and healthified my diet and now I plan to live until at least 90 something. For me, this is not a diet, but an investment in my grandkids' (when I have them) future. I lost my grandmother at 18. She was 92 and a Type 2 diabetic (who had to control her diet after the age of 50), but my own mother died unduly young at 69 due to her bad diet and drinking. I swore that would not be me and as long as I can help it, it won't be.

That is MY motivation!