Ianina- No problem at all. Good for you starting your own diary. Hope you feel better soon. Cheers, Cate.
Today- I am feeling a bit tired & my body is sayin "Cate, give me a break. Go back on Cohen's!' so I will in the morning. 'night, Cate

I seem to be busy at the moment. I have so many things to do & I'm inclined to get a bit stressed when I feel this way. Please excuse me anyone if I have missed a diary or a note that I should have answered. No offence intended ever.
I spent yesterday at the opshop where I froze. It was not as I expected as a new manager had been appointed as of yesterday & a "new broom" is going through it. She is very much a black & white person & we agreed on lots of things but I think she will mostly serve & I will mostly clean & rearrange shelves etc, under her direction. I got on ok with her but I think many will quit because of this. The opshop has never had a manager before & I get the feeling some pretty dodgy practices have been happening. It is one of the coldest buildings in the town I discovered yesterday.
It does appeal to me more in some ways as she is a stickler for things being in order but she is left-handed & I pointed out to her that she was putting everything back-to-front compared to any other shop of any sort that I had ever been into. I didn't say it as bluntly as that but after a while I did ask her if she was left-handed & she said she was. "Ahh, you are putting everything right for a left-handed person" I will have to be careful that I don't tell her what I think too much at the start but I must admit I'm more used to being a boss than an employee. I only spoke up because on one rack she was saying put them this way which was right I thought & I had done heaps that way, done up all the zips & buttons & re-hung messy ones etc but then I saw her putting everything a different way on another & pointed it out nicely I thought.Mmmm. She seems to think you would do them differently, depending on which way the rack faced but I don't think so as the racks will get moved about at times. She is managing the store as of yesterday but has been working in a central sorting place for 5 years. I'll stick to only Mondays & see how I go before comitting to anything else. I think that may be enough. I was almost sorting out clothes as I was trying to drift off to sleep.
There will be no nabbing clothes as they come in or putting them away for my GK's or getting them cheaper etc. You pay up front & get a receipt but can try things on at home & bring them back & everything has to be done by her. It will be easier that way as I won't have to lie to anyone. I gather some people have been doing the wrong thing & now it will be clear & no favours for anyone.
Already I have had some strange things said to me like "I didn't know you were of the faith" which threw me I must admit. The guy who said that is the landlord & I ahve known him for 25 years. I said "Pardon?" and he said 'I didn't know you were Catholic' to which I replied that I don't discriminate against anyone's religion & as far as I was concerned religion didn't come into being a volunteer. Mmm. I think his bias might have been showing somehow as he's Anglican. My grandmother was like that, to my shame. I don't get bias or prejudice. I did get some funny looks though. Some of the locals just came in & watched. I don't think they could work out what the heck was going on. 2 new people & major re-arrangements. We were their entertainment for the day. I know some of the volunteers will quit & they will probably lump me in with the new "boss" as we just happened to start at the same time. Oh well. It doesn't worry me much.
If I don't get to serve people at all I won't continue but I will tell her that before I actually decide to leave. I wonder if she gets paid? I would imagine so. That was one of the reasons I chose that opshop rather than another one that I prefer because it has a manager who gets paid & the volunteers are usually out the back sorting & she goes out the front & serves everyone & she's very bossy.
I have been 'chatting' to my YS again this morning on FB. It is so nice to feel connected still to him. He is usually just there for a brief time but the other night I 'chatted' for about an hour as neither of us wanted to go. He is about to go off on a Galapagos Islands tour.
Ok- now it's time to go do some work. Bills to check & pay, Internet banking to do for us & our YS, dishes to wash plus it is freezing where I'm sitting. My laptop battery dies after about 10 mins so I have to sit well away from the fire & it's freezing today. Max of 14c. Brrr
Our YS's laptop which I bought off him(acted as a pawn shop really but w/o any interest) seems to have a nasty virus so I'll get it fixed I think so that I can use it as it's a beauty. He told me about the virus. Ahh- parents that will give you what you paid for your computer, get it fixed for you & then sell it back to you for the same price if & when you want it back & then probably let you pay it off over time, w/o interest usually, when you get back from O/S.
I will be back tonight as my LH is going out to 8-ball without me. I'll just have to rug up or maybe get an extension cord. That's a better idea. Cheers, Cate

I love Op Shops, but don't get much time to go to any these days. My daughter is a constant visitors of most of the local ones, though. Amazing what they turn up from time to time.

I'm going OK today - freezing here as well, a lot of thunder and lightning about last night and this morning, and absolutely dumping rain for a while. Talk about winter coming with a vengeance! After a very mild and lovely autumn, it's a bit of a shock. I have a foot warmer under my desk as I'm absolutely freezing these days without my layer of fat insulation!

PS - Yes, the "Bank of Mum"... the big black hole that just keeps giving even when it's empty!!

Not in the mood to post today folks. Catch you in the morning xo Cate

Sleep well. There's always tomorrow!!!

I woke up feeling much better thanks Niyah. It is amazing what a good night's sleep can do for you. I actually stayed in bed until 9am. I have a new perspective today. Yesterday I was really anxious, today I can think clearer & realise that I worry about everything & usually it's nothing to really worry about.
I felt chastened by something my doctor said. I know she is right. I stress about things that I shouldn't. After I left her I felt very close to tears but still went to Tai Chi. It was a struggle though. I just wanted to go home. I felt silly & petulant. It's not a good feeling.
Today- I have taken on board what she said & am going with the flow. I am going to work in the op shop as a volunteer and not want to have it absolutely perfect. I am going to do my fair share but at the end of the day switch off & go home. I am going to try really hard to relax about it. I wish I wasn't this way. It stops me from doing new things & I'm sure stops me from being more adventurous & enjoying life more.
Weight- Phew! Back to where I want to be- w/i my GW range. It's hard to stay at the bottom of the range when I'm not eating salads. I am working out which 'carbs'are ok for me & which aren't. Pumpkin seems ok & beans, a banana occasionally, a little rice, a little dry wine..... If I eat bread or pasta whammo! On goes a couple of kgs & I feel rotten instantly.
I have just got a message from my YS's partner in his house which requires me getting in touch with hime if I can. I'll be back later. Cheers, Cate

Glad you are having a much better day. Sleep is an amazing restorer of the mind. I don't always sleep well these days, but really notice how much better I feel when I DO manage to get a good night!

We cannot always be perfect, even though we have ideals. I'm waxing poetical this week, but here's a thought to go with what your doctor said (not that I know what she said exactly!!):

"Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are now"

Sometimes we think we have to get it right, or get it perfect, or be in the perfect situation. But all we can ever do is do what we can in whatever situation we are in. The rest is all just flotsam that has to float by in the great river of life. What we couldn't do, or couldn't manage, is something we can't change.

Next time I'm stressed, you can tell that right back to me too!!

Niyah-Now you have made me really laugh. I'll remember to do that! I almost always find it easier to give advice to others than to follow it myself! I have had a good day reading a book that I am really enjoying. It's called 'The Rainy Season' by Myfanwy Jones. It was recommended in the Age newspaper. I'll let you know how good it is if it has a good, happy ending! It's set in Saigon.
My stars for today are funny & very appropriate- Copied & pasted-
Taurus (20/4-20/5)
'It's time for change -- which has never been on your sign's top ten list of favorite things. That doesn't mean those changes will be unpleasant, but because it's really just the concept of change you object to, this could be a tough day. If you wake up feeling that things are already different, don't panic. You never know: This time out, it may all turn out wonderfully. In fact, if you can adapt, wonderful is a given.'
How very true for me. Usually your horoscope is a joke but today it's spot on.
I'm continuing on with volunteering in the Op Shop. I have rung & said so. Next Monday is a public holiday but I will drop the forms in either tomorrow or next Wednesday. I have made calls today that I have been putting off. I feel pretty good. Much better than yesterday. Cheers for now, Cate

Hi Cate!

I've been missing you
Ty for the invite!

I'll chat to you when your sun rises..hehe

xxx

I must have forgotten to post in my diary today! It has been a very topsy turvy day. First the glass man, then our OS who stayed for a couple of hours, then I madly cleaned the house before our YS's girlfriend visited with her mother's, partner's son & they stayed for a couple of hours & my LH got home. We had a couple of drinks with them & a good chat & a lateish dinner & I feel just about ready for bed!
My mood has lifted condsiderably thank goodness.
I don't know if anyone's forum pages are presenting very strangely but mine are all over the show.
Hi Luvbug, Hi everyone. Catch up again tomorrow, cheers, cate

ok- I'll admit that I've been down for a while. I fight this on a regular basis & usually come out on top in the end but I really suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) at the start of Winter. My mood is affected by the sun, or the lack of it. I think I always have. It's quite common apparently, not that that helps at all. Can you imagine what a foggy day does to me,not only mood-wise, but also because it affects my asthma badly.
I have no real reason to be down.
I live in a very light house so that helps. Lots and lots of glass but today it's bleak.
My Lh has gone off to golf and I had better go have a shower. That'll pick me up.
I haven't weighed for a couple of days & won't now as I have eaten breakfast & had about 3 glasses of water & a coffee. I had better weigh tomorrow. Even though I have been feeling down I have been eating very healthily which is at least a relief.
Seeing my YS's GF has got me down a bit too I think. I hope she doesn't call back in on her way home today. I get so sick of watching absolutely everything I say & being so careful. Who am I to know what will happen or what she should do? I don't want to say anything that will affect what she does or doesn't do.I don't like walking on eggshells.It makes me very nervous & jittery and I have woken up fragile again. I think it would be easier for the 2 of them to treat the break as a true separation but won't advise that of course. I think my son realised how much he loved her just before he went away.
I'm raving on & not making much sense I know. I'll scuttle off to the shower now & may get out of the house for a while but I don't really feel like I'm good company for anyone.
I hope where you are the sun is shining and you are happy. I know I will be again soon. I have everything to be happy about. Now I just have to convince my brain! xo Cate

The seasonal AD is interesting... I think I'm slightly affected also, but it isn't the only thing accounting for how I feel, I know. But... grey and cold days certainly have a depressing effect, plus the continual lack of sunshine.

We have a lovely day today fortunately, though still very cold. I can seen sunshine!!

Mums get anxious because Mums care. Caring is OK. But caring makes us vulnerable. As the saying goes, "Who mothers mothers??". But... imagine what their lives would be like if we didn't care?? We get anxious because we care, but we can't control the outcome of what we care about.

So... have a day out mentally... just for today. The following is an old inspirational thing I love - very long so I've truncated it a bit. Sorry for piling things up in your diary!!

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: 'Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.' Happiness comes from within; it is not a matter of externals.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.

Thanks Niyah.I'll print that up. I have only just read it as I forced myself out of the house and into town to do some shopping. Unfortunately if my brain had been working properly I would have twigged that it was Market day (1st Sat of the month) & would have gone in before 1pm when it closes! I had forced myself to do some chores before I went & to have a healthy bowl of Pho Bo for lunch or I would have seen the sign in town & gone along in time. Next month I will be in Melb but I will be setting an alarm for the 1st Sat in August so that I can't forget!
I went to the supermarket & stocked up on things for the pantry & freezer in case the Swine Flu gets out of hand & we are quarantined. They are already suggesting that kids stay home from school for a week if they travel to Victoria. I'm not at all worried about getting it but I actually love to have a good excuse to have a well-stocked pantry. I was brought up in a grocers store! Our nearest shopping centre is 11km away so having some extra things in the freezer may save a trip just for vegies. I often have to go just for my yoghurt.I go through about 4 big tubs a week, just for me.
I bumped into my SIL and she told me my husband's brother has some genetic blood chromosome disorder which I am about to look up. He has gone away on his doctor's advice for a week's fishing so won't catch up with my LH to tell him all about it. It's something to do with having a lot of iron in the blood & apparently may be kept at bay by giving blood regularly which we do. I had better go have a quick look to see what it is & what it means.
I feel much better for having got out & about & chatting to people.Once again I put on a smile & made myself feel better in the process.
It's still a horrible day & now its' windy & raining as well. C'mon sunshine!!!
Niyah- you can fill my diary up with helpful, supportive comments & quotes any time you like,xoxo Cate

Sounds like haemochromatosis - manageable these days but does tend to cause problems with arthritic joints eventually I believe.

Getting out and reconnected with the big wide world is a mental lift. Try and stay sunny side up!!!