78 kgs today. 3/4 of the way to goal!! (27 down, 9 to go!!)
Sam- It's great having you back. I have always been very curious about the advice & tools that Cohen's give you when you get to goal weight but have been too embarrassed to ask as it would seem like I'm "jumping the gun". I had hoped that people would keep posting even when they are at goal but I guess it stops being your main focus.
I had decided to keep posting in here because I know that it has been a major motivator for me. I need that support system & not only do I not want to let myself down but I also want to support & encourage all those lovely people (my cheer-leaders Annie!) who come into my world & read my diary. The encouragement I receive in here has been priceless & something I won't want to let go of.
Sam- How many kg's did you have to go before you ordered re-feed. I would love to know about the guidelines they gave you & how you went with re-feed & what it all entailed. Would you mind telling me please In here is fine.
I have decided to commit to continuing with my diary after I reach my Cohen's goal weight. I may not post every single day but will at least once a week. It will help re-inforce the program for me. After all I'm sure I won't just get to goal weight & be able to eat as I used to. The reasons I became so over-weight will still be there tempting me to go hide again behind the fat.
9kg to go. Wow! I can't believe it really. That gets me to the top of the Cohen's goal range of 66-69kg. 36kg sounded like so much to lose I picked 69 as my goal weight, rather than 66kg. I probably should have a re-think if I'm not ravenous at about 71kg. I cannot believe I am getting this close.
Yesterday I made another large vegetable stock & separated it into 9 tubs & froze most of them. I am going for a blood test next week in Devonport & will stock up on fresh, free-range chicken breasts which I will then weigh out, cut up & freeze. Then all I have to do is take out 1 chicken portion, 1 stock portion, add whatever vegies I feel like on the day & cook a soup on top of my wood heater. I always do the meal 2 portion, cook it during the day & then re-heat it at night as I never have much energy for cooking in the evening or anything else for that matter.
I may go out with my husband tonight. He plays competition 8-ball (pool) & I like to watch. His team are a lot of fun & they have also been asking where I am which is nice. I had assumed that they would probably prefer wives didn't go along as I'm usually the only one there. My hubby always wants me to go with him. It seems I was wrong about the others as he says they are always asking after me. I just assumed they wouldn't want me there, even though I get on really well with all of them!
I do have serious self-esteem problems. I have always associated self-esteem with vanity. Learning to love yourself somehow in my mind seems like being vain & self-centred. I have a lot to overcome & learn. I appear confident apparently but am not at all. Any advice or reading ideas would be gratefully received on how to build self-confidence & self-esteem. I know I need help with it.
I do feel that a new, better life is ahead of me. It's a big unknown & I'm a little scared but I am ready to learn better coping skills & to change my life & body for the better.
That's probably too much for today already. Once I start typing the words just keep on keeping on (as if you hadn't noticed!!) cheers, Cate.

Hi Cate

You are so right about not staying on forum once you lose weight but I definitely thinks it would be beneficial because you can so quickly fall into bad habits. My computer was actually out of commission for awhile aswell and is still at that touch and go stage, we may have to invest in a new one.

To answer your question I ordered refeed around the 67/66kg mark (for memory) at the advice of my consultant, they mailed it out to me and I went through it via the phone. I settled at 63kg when I had finished refeed.

I must admit by the time I reached refeed I was ready for it to be all over with it, I was becoming tired with the whole measuring,adding, subtracting process (You will understnd when you get your refeed).

But you have done so well so don't let my ramplings hinder you. i TRUELY believe Cohen's is the best DIET I have ever been on to lose weight and so quickly without physical exerusion, it is just amazing.

I also have another confession to make I will actually need to go back on it for about a week or two, I can feel that I have gained sligtly and I want to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later.

I would prefer to lose 3kg than 20 or 30kg - as we all know we can regain without even eating copius amounts of food, a cup of tea/coffee with a sweet is enough to get those scales moving up so remember ladies and gents once you finish Cohen's enjoy your food but don't think those treats won't be their to enjoy another day or week. I think that is a major failing on our part. We have such an abundance of foods around us that we do not need to overindulge it all in one sitting. We really need to stop being so greedy and realise we are not going to collapse in a heap if we don't eat that bag of chips or chocolate or glass of wine IT WILL ALL BE THEIR FOR ANOTHER OCCASSION. So balance it out people.

Just remember Cohen's is a wonderful programme but after refeed you do need to rethink how you eat and most importantly incorporate some exercise.
We also need to be aware that if we don't want to revert to our old habits we need to keeping checking those scales and try to nip any weight gains sooner rather than later - as I have stated above.

I am so sorry for rambling on Cate, you ask me one question and I end up writing war and peace or should I retitle that war with weight.

I will try my best to stay around and read the post and give guidance where I can and next time I hope to make it brief and to the point.

Goodnight for now
Sam

Sam- Thanks for replying. I'm sure we will all put a bit on, take a bit off, for the rest of our lives. Were you really ravenous when you ordered re-feed & if so, for how long ? Was the Cohen's range 63-66 for you? Does alcohol make you feel sick now?
I feel really good today. Went out with hubby last night & enjoyed the company. Also enjoyed the fact that men don't comment on your weight-loss. I just felt more comfortable in my skin, knowing that I looked quite nice (like a normal person). I am used to nibbling on my crackers when supper comes out & that is one practice I am going to continue "apres-Cohens." Actually I don't think there will be an "after Cohen's" as I think I will stick to the basic guidelines, if not the minimal quantities. I will also continue to weigh myself weekly to keep a constant eye on myself. I am looking forward to finding out what is the biggest factor with me re putting on weight. I think it may be too much bread. Instead of thinking what I can eat when I get to goal weight I have started thinking of how I will eat to stay at goal weight.
I just love the psychology of this program if you embrace it full on!! I know my attitudes towards food & my body are getting better each week.
I took my little dogs for a walk today as I feel like I need to get some fresh air & exercise. I want to take measures to stave off any depression that may appear if doubts creep back into my head about quitting work or not having my own income. I am used to being financially independant. I have started thinking of ways to earn some money, working from home. Basically I am a "people person" & probably need contact with the general public. I won't worry too much about it for the moment but am aware that being at home almost all of the time is probably not the best thing for me. I will be very cautious before committing to anything though.
I came back from my walk a little dizzy though & find this happens whenever I do much at all physically. We live on top of a steep hill so every walk you do has a steep uphill walk on the return. I ate an apple just before I went, thinking that would help but it didn't seem to. I am really looking forward to being able to get more exercise.
I do feel good about leaving my job as it just wasn't for me & was too stressful. My anxiety has disappeared along with it!
I'll come back later for a quick look. I find it suits me to post in here in the middle of the day & fills in a good hour which gets me through to lunch-time!
Cheers, Cate.

Hi Cate

Yes I was ravenous and was becoming tempted by foods I otherwise would have normally ignored whilst on programme . The hunger started out of the blue and I remember my consultant saying I would recognise the hunger when you find the COHEN'S meals are no longer satisfying and you get that gnawing feeling in your belly.
My goal weight with Cohens was 65kg so getting to 63kg was an extra bonus but in saying that I would have like to have settled on 60kg.

Their are some foods that do affect me now but not alot, pasta is the most noticable- it causes bloating straight away, I am fine with white wine but not with red which is sad because that is my preferred drop.

So that is about it. How close are you to refeed? And Cate I hope you are remembering to give yourself little rewards along the way. YOU Deserve it - we all do.

All the best
Sam

Mmmm. Little rewards...That's something I haven't done at all.....
I had my hair cut quite short today. I like it short & messy. I spent 5 hrs away from home wandering around the shops & was a bit too hungry by the time I got home & am now very tired. I hadn't planned on doing that so had to wait until I had cooked my lunch. Whenever I go a long time without anything, including crackers, I get really exhausted & tired.
I was a bit naughty this morning & weighed myself again & I was 76.5!!!!!
I didn't lose any weight last week but have lost 1.5kg since Tuesday. Go figure! Whenever I have not lost any weight I have always shrunk so don't worry any more. I woke up this morning & just felt lighter so that's why I hopped on the scales.
7.5kg to go to get to the top of the Cohen's range. I'm excited now!! (but too tired to even worry about typing that bigger!)
I'll come back tomorrow when I have more energy, cheers, Cate.

Had a really good night's sleep last night & feel good this morning. I am sitting in my recliner, still in my dressing gown, granny rug on my lap (& 1 dog) in front of the fire, with my laptop on my lap. (Good place for a laptop!)
I have just been reading a thread on life after reaching goal weight & it's really interesting. I am really interested in nutrition & have never really understood or taken the time to understand how our bodies work or what different food types do what to our bodies. Our Hobart clinic sent us a very informative email yesterday & it is great, especially explaining a lot about carbohydrates, the different sorts & how they work in your body. I must learn more.
One thing that I find really interesting is that when I eat yoghurt for breakfast with stewed apple (or mango-boo hoo...I miss mango) I am just not hungry at all until at least 5 hours later. I am very curious to know why not. I would have thought an egg with vegies would be more filling. Perhaps it's the complex carb of the fruit. I think I might have to stick to this after goal. I often cook my hubby bacon, eggs & tomato on home-made toasted German 5 grain bread for his breakfast (when his work shift is at a reasonable time, i.e. he gets up after 7am!) and it looks & smells so good, except the bacon looks too fatty. I used to think that I really missed eating it for brekky but that is changing.
I seem to enjoy his enjoyment of the meal, if that makes any sense to anyone whilst I eat my yoghurt with stewed apple & a liittle psyllium husks sprinkled on top & I feel like I am making a healthier choice.
I am still hardly going to the toilet which is probably quite normal for most people but all my life I have gone at least once a day. I wonder if this is mainly because we eat so little that our bodies need it all. Because I want to have healthy eating habits for the rest of my life I don't want to be dependant on laxatives. If anyone is reading this & has some advice I would appreciate it very much. Metamucil powder doesn't do much for me. I don't know if the capsules work better but might try them soon.
I exchanged a top (that I hadn't worn yet & was now too small!) in a local store & the woman who served me told me about a group of women who regularly go bush-walking. She can't go any more as she has arthritis badly in her knees. They call themselves the "Wacky Walkers." Apparently they meet at 8am (once a month I think) in my closest town (11km away) & head off in cars to different places each time, where they then go on a bush-walk. They then return to our local town about 3pm. That sounds like it would suit me. Within a very short distance from where I live there are many beautiful spots. We are only 1 &1/2 hours from Cradle Mountain for example. I have always wanted to see the "Walls of Jerusalem" after seeing a film called "The Tale of Ruby Rose" that was set up there. It looked absolutely superb. Hopefully they will go there sometime later.
I will make some enquiries about their group, but wait until after re-feed when I am eating more (& weigh less) as I don't want to start until I am able to walk without being both dizzy & ravenous. I am really looking forward to it. I have hiking boots that are really comfortable & are well worn in as I wear them around our 50 acre block. I need thermal underwear soon, anyway, as I'm always cold now that I have lost my insulation. I will keep an eye open for the next sale in any of the hiking shops as I will also need a back pack & other gear. even if the bush-walking doesn;t end up working well for me the gear will not be wasted as it would be handy for living in the country & for travel. There's a lot of the world that I want to see yet!
What I do like the sound of with this walking group is that they do not stay overnight as I do like to be in my own bed at night (with my lovely hubby!) & that they are not super-serious bush-walkers- Wacky Walkers! Sounds like my kind of group.
Whoops it's 9.30am & I'm not showered yet. My hubby is doing a 12 hour shift today & I thought I would get some cooking done & get stuck into some housework. He has tomorrow off & we are going to a 50th tomorrow night at the local golf club. I'm looking forward to it. I don't miss drinking as I feel much fresher after a night out. If I was driving home I only ever had a couple of drinks but now that I am not drinking at all I realise how much more alert I am & how much better I sleep without any alcohol in my system. Mmmm- maybe I won't drink much at all later. Probably one glass will make me drunk!
I'll come back tonight for a quick look.
Yesterday I couldn't get the grin off my face whenever I met someone in the street or shops that I knew & told them I had quit work. Some of the shocked looks were funny. I got my last pay from them last night & still I grinned!
My husband told me last night that I shouldn't feel that I have to go out & get another job & that he is quite happy if I want to stay at home. I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me so much, regardless of my size, my moods (ups & downs)& whatever choices I make in life. It's mutual so I guess we are both lucky. Enough of the mushy stuff-sorry! Just woke up that way. I'm feeling good about life.
After re-reading this huge post it's now 10.10am. What a lazy bones! xo Cate.

Hiya Cate,
76.5..wow how cool is that, you are so nearly there ...great job!

Your hubby sounds great, it makes this so much easier when you have their support. Mine is constantly telling me how great I am looking and how well I have done, we have been together for 6 years and he has seen me battle with my weight over and over. He can't believe how great Cohens works and how much it has shaped my body. We are so lucky !

I am off for a dirty long weekend away ..hehehe. Flying out to Sydney tonight and back Monday night so see you next week, enjoy the 50th birthday party and the rest of your weekend.

Wacky walkers? yeh I can picture you doing that...go for it!!

TTFN
Annie Lusion

I'll be back tomorrow to post again as my poor old brain is too tired tonight. I hope Annie that you enjoy your dirty weekend in Sydney. Your hubby sounds like a lovely man too! Good night, Cate.

Hi Cate

Its great to hear that you are feeling good at the moment. All that positive energy is a fantastic thing. I can't wait till I can say that I am in the 70kgs.. seems so far away.

So this is my third day on Cohens, and its going surprisingly well. I am not feeling really hungry, I feel content when I have finished my meals (maybe not necessarily satisfied, but all in good time).

As you said, its about being organised. I am finding since I dedicate a fair bit of time to buying, weighing and cooking my meals, I find myself putting it on a nice smaller plate, pour some Diet Caffine Free coke into a wine glass and sit down and eat my meal slowly and actually enjoy it.

Today I cooked a nice omelette for breaky, it was rather yum. Its weird that I didn't want to sleep in too late as I would muck up my eating schedule.

I know I shouldn't but I jumped on the scales this morning, and I am nearly 3kg lighter....is that possible so soon and especially as I have my period at the moment. Anyway its a big motivator either way.

Annie, hope you have a wonderful time in Sydney with your hubby, he sounds lovely.

Cate, enjoy your weekend.

Look forward to hearing more from your ladies. I might start up my own thread, might help me keep on track and get any suggestions from other Cohenites.

toni

Toni- It is absolutely possible (probable!) that you have lost 3 kg that quickly. There was a week early on that I lost 5kg. That had me well & truly hooked on Cohen's!! I started my diary at 9wks & would recommend it as a great motivator. I get so much encouragement & support in here.
Like you, I found it hard to imagine being in the 70's. It just gets easier as you go. When you know that you WILL lose weight & your clothes get baggier & baggier it will seem to go quicker.
Your actual weight becomes less important & the measurements & what you see in the mirror counts for more! I accidentally said I was 87kg to someone the other day, instead of 77!! You start to feel that anything is possible. I think my goal weight of 69kg may change to the lower limit of 66kg. More than 36kg just seemed impossible to me at the start, but I think I can still see about 10kg of fat that it would be nice to lose. I will let the hunger be my guide though but will try to ignore it if I am not under 70kg when it happens.
I wish the old ticker would stay the same so people (& myself) could see how it changes each month. Every time you up-date you ticker it changes all your previous posts. A little annoying!
My husband is home today & is doing the vacuuming. What a sweetie! It's the only household chore that I really dislike. It also upsets my sinuses, hayfever & asthma. Since leaving work I have never felt better, allergy-wise. The air-conditioning & perfumes(that were not meant to be worn) used to mean that my sinuses were almost always puffy & red. Not a good look along with my inbuilt insulation.(aka fat)
I am calling in at my work-place (ex) to say an official good-bye on Tues. as I have to go nearby to have my blood test. I am taking my grandson to buy him a new pair of shoes & he will be a handy "security blanket." I will wear my smartest outfit so I feel better about going in there. I have to hand back my security pass, name tag etc. I feel relieved that I have resigned but don't want any ill will as I really like a lot of the staff & would like to keep in touch with a few of them.
Tonight we are going out so I am going to take it fairly easy during the day. I was going to have chicken soup for lunch but apparently it gives me garlic breath so had better have something else & save it for tomorrow.
I too Toni carefully prepare & cook my meals & then sit down, with something good to read & a nice drink & savour every little morsel. I have learned to appreciate my food instead of shovelling it in without much thought. It should be how we eat always.
I'll be back tomorrow as I think I will go for a short walk in the sunshine. Cheers for now, Cate.

I slept in this morning until 9, which I haven't dome for ages. The 50th was ok but not great. I feel very self-conscious in some social situations & don't really enjoy "big" occasions like weddings etc & I never have. It's nothing to do with whatever size I am & is hard to explain. I'm posting a little late in the day & am a little tired so will go into it further tomorow.
I had a good day today, pottering about, doing nothing much in particular, just being at home. My mum rang & was very cheerful & chatty. She actually talks more than I do!!!! I rang our youngest son & had a quick chat to him. Things are going really well for him at the moment. He is about to go to England to represent Australia at the World 8-ball titles. I am so proud of him. He has also been offered a great job when he returns. He is only 24 & is doing well. He too can be quite insecure so I love it when he is so positive. Being a mum is great but worrying is part of the job description.
Up until now I have been fairly careful not to type anything that I thought might identify me to anyone I know here in Tasmania but I really don't think it's important to me any more. Honesty in expressing your doubts & feelings shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. I don't know what I was worrying about.
I got a lot of very favourable comments about my new look last night but am still uncomfortable & not quite fitting my new skin. I hope this comes with time. I don't know how to hold myself as everything feels different. I also got one very drunken, silly comment that wasn't at all positive! " I thought you were dying!" His girl-friend had commented to my hubby on how much weight I had lost. I heard her say to him "Wow, look at your shrinking wife over there!" She said nothing to me all night but my hubby had proudly told her what I had been doing to get that way. She must have then told her boy-friend who later staggered up to me & attempted a conversation. I have no idea if he was trying to be nice as it was hard to tell. Looking like you were dying is not exactly encouraging. I have felt that a lot of people have thought the same thing so will be pleased if word does get around & I don't get any more comments like that.
My younger sister has badges saying she is allergic to perfume & I had joked to her that I might get one saying "I don't have cancer!" It would probably create even more confusion & un-wanted attention.
Time to go get my dinner ready. Sorry if I'm all over the place today. It's because my head is clearer in the mornings than the afternoons. I'm not down, just tired & a little hungry. I just realised I still haven't eaten 2/3 of my cracker allowance & it's 6.10pm! Cheers, Cate

Early this week I weighed myself & I was 76.5kg. I typed that weight in here & I was so excited. The next day I weighed again, thinking I might have got down to 76 & lo & behold I have been 77 every day since, including today. I will weigh again tomorrow because never say die are my middle names & will update my ticker tomorrow. Whatever weight I am tomorrow will be my official 4 weekly weight.
Another lesson learned. Don't weigh more than once a week- EVER!
Apparently at re-feed you have to weigh daily to keep an eye on what's happening when you re-introduce things but that will be very different.
I feel a bit peeved, rather than decimated so it's ok but..... You think I would have learned by now that it's not a good idea to obsess over the scales. I have been retaining water I think & am having so much trouble going to the toilet.
My old standby of chicken soup is sitting on the top level of the wood heater slowly warming up. My hubby is off playing golf & I have spent most of my day on the phone catching up with some old (some very old) friends.
I have always been the one who calls but I don't let that put me off. A good friend is worth the effort, regardless. I miss quite a few of my friends from Victoria. We used to be a really large close group of friends, when we were much younger & spent a lot of time together. Naturally everyone is spread all over the place & don't see a lot of one another. Occasionally we have got them together for a barbie in a park in Melb. when we have visited & it's been like a school reunion.
It might be fun to organise something like that again. I don't feel like organising a party at our place but might for my hubby's 60th in 2009. I enjoy parties for him but not for me as I do not like being the centre of attention at all.
I have to organise a massage for myself this week & will type in here when I have an appointment. Someone please berate me if I haven't organised it. My back is really painful at the moment. I must get a computer desk & a new chair as well because I think that's the biggest problem. Using a laptop doesn't help either. That requires a trip to Launceston though & spending lots of money. Now that I don't have my own income I feel that I should not be spending too much. It's really hard to change your way of thinking. I have always had an independent income. Hopefully I'll get over it.
I am considering cutting down my cracker allowance a little just for the last leg of my Cohen's journey. I will ask my consultant first as I don't want to self-sabotage accidentally. It may just help me get to goal a little quicker. It's possibly water-retention from salt that is the problem but I really dislike the non-salty cracker alternatives. To me they taste like cardboard.
I am more addicted to salt & savoury foods than sweet foods. I do not ever mentally crave chocolate or cheesecake. Instead I imagine eating some salty nuts or black olives, anchovies, red wine etc. The thought of drinking alcohol again is a little scary but am looking forward to a little taste of a good red wine.
I also think I will eat more fish for the next month & see what that does. It's funny that I am starting to get impatient. It's just that I can actually see what I think is about 10kg of fat & I want it to go away. NOW!
It's time for lunch so will have a break. I'll come back later for a quick look.
Typing in here an hour before a meal is due gets me through easily to meal time so is a good distraction & time filler.
I'm looking forward to hearing from Annie after her week-end in Sydney. Hope it lived up to it's promise Annie!
Cheers, Cate

Cate, just been catching up with your diary. Wow you've come along way, and I don't just mean your weight. You are one fantastic lady. I've not been on this forum for months and when I came in today and saw your diary I just wanted to read up and see how you've been tracking. Well, you've taken me through a range of emotions and kept me hooked to the p.c (I started on page 7) until I got to the end and just had to send a post. I am impressed with your self-determination and ability to pick up and dust off. I have been able to relate to some of what you've said and have been considering counselling myself to help deal with my perception and attitude towards food.

After having completed refeed on 2nd May, I've managed to put 6kg back on. This morning when I got up I made a commitment to lose it and get back down to goal. I'm back on the program just for a week or so, no more than 2weeks I hope otherwise I need to do refeed over and it is just too fiddly to go back to. I feel more resolved now just by reading your diary. Thank you.

When you come over to Melb later in the year, I would love to meet up with you and Annie (and any other Melb cohenites), for coffee and a chat and perhaps, if refeed is over for all, a meal in the city if it suits.

Enjoy the time you have given yourself away from the pressures of work and the demands that family needs and be kind to yourself. Make sure you have that massage and why not see what relaxation packages are offered there as well. Sometimes it works out cheaper than if you bought them individually.

Take care dear Cate,

Lauren

Lauren Wow! I got such a lovely surprise to see you had posted in my diary. You were really inspirational to me when I first started my diary & I admired your spirit & determination. I found it very daunting to have so much to lose but was reassured to see others, like you, had even more to lose but were almost at goal!
I just read your post out to my husband. It is so nice & has really made me feel good. Thank you very much. I would love to catch up with you, Annie & whoever else wants to catch up with us in Melbourne later in the year. If I'm not at goal by then I'll be easy to recognise. I'll be the bald woman as I will have torn my hair out with frustration! Perhaps we could meet at a Cohen's-friendly restaurant/ coffee lounge in Melbourne.
Australian Story is about to start & I really enjoy that & then Andrew Denton so will be back tomorrow night to post again & describe my day with my grandson, my goodbye to my work-mates & our shopping trip.
I have decided I will post some photos on here sometime in the future. I will have to ask friends for some before photos as I hardly have any. I don't know who I will get to take my afters (maybe my husband). They won't be posed befores to highlight the fat though because I don't have any thank god.
Today I had actually spent some time checking out spa packages. I do feel like having a full-on pampering session as I have never had one. There is a place in Launceston called the Mud Club at the Seaport resort that sounds good but I might wait until I can have the full package with champagne & caviar. Ooh....it sounds so good! I do need a massage this week though.
My hubby cooked me "fiery fish" tonight. It's a tasty stir-fry that is just delicious. I have been really hungry today which is a bit of a bugger. It was a cold day & that may be why. I think I'll go back to the 1 egg omelette for brekky again, with crackers 1 hr before lunch etc. Just as I thought I might be able to cut down crackers I am ravenous! Oh well....
Time to put this laptop away & spend some time with hubby.
Good night fellow Cohenites, xo Cate

Hi Cate,
have you booked the massage?..just kidding!

I did have a lovely weekend, it was great and yes it did live up to it's promise
A catch up in Melb later on in the year sounds great, count me in!!

Lauren: congrats on your amazing result, i too have followed your progress from February when i started and you have been very inspirational.

I have the day off today and am doing nothing...yay!!
Have a great day Cate..till next time
Annie Lusion