At least today I know why I didn't feel so good yesterday. I cannot see the mountains because of pea-soup fog. Whenever it's foggy I have asthma & a heavy head which makes me feel "under the weather." I am literally!
8-ball was fairly quiet & so was I but it was better than being home alone on a winter's night, feeling a tad blue.
Day 3 of re-feed. Today I add 60g old protein, 80g old veg & 1 "good" fruit & can have 1 slice of bread, instead of 3 crackers, if I wish. I won't today though. My stomach feels slightly bloated & I'm not sure if it's the bread or just(?) no BM.
I'm having an early night tonight as I think it makes me feel better. Sleeping in I'm sure is not as good for you as getting to bed before 11pm. My husband is very tired at the moment & will need to cut his hours at work a little. It's just a matter of learning to say no & looking after himself. It took me a long time to learn & it's not easy. He is such a nice person & doesn't want to let people down.
I am having my hair cut tomorrow, which always makes me feel really good. I think I will get it cut quite short & spiky if I can.
There is a dance class nearby that sounds like fun. It's called "Gypsy Dancing." I used to go to belly-dancing classes years ago & loved it. It was so much fun! They dress up in bright clothes which I don't have, except for a belly-dancing shawl & ear-rings & a bright purple scarf that I never wear, which belonged to my sister. I am really hesitant about joining anything. My confidence rises & falls each week & I am scared to walk in cold to any of these things.
I have 3 choices that appeal to me-
1. The "Wacky Walkers" who meet every Tues at 8am & head off on a different walk each week & are back at 3pm. They are all diff. ages & the walks vary a lot. Long day & men go as well. (Free.)
2. Yoga. Rec'd private lesson first & then weekly, evening classes. (Reasonably costly.)
3. "Gypsy Dancing" classes late afternoon, weekly. (Fairly cheap to join ($20 incl. a CD) & then pay $7.50 per class)
I would like to be able to try one of these but would much prefer to do things mid-morning as I know I would have trouble maintaining motivation for afternoon classes.
I have not yet found enough confidence obviously! It's much safer staying at home. Just when you think you are getting there.......
This week I have had a few hassles regarding my sister's bequests which I haven't shared with you. That's the main reason I have been down & fairly sensitive. It seems to go on and on... I will be relieved when it is all finalised & I am able to have the "keep-sakes" she wanted me to have. They're not valuable to anyone else but sure are to me. I really miss her. It's hard to move on when things are still not resolved.
I'll come back later I think. I'll throw myself into some housework. I always feel better when I tidy the house up & get myself on the move. I know it would help me to do something fun & get myself out of this comfort zone so will have to find the courage & make up my mind which I would like to do. The "Gypsy dancing" has the most appeal I think. Laughter's good therapy.
xo Cate

Cate,
I haven't had time to read over your diary or the forum in a couple days but wanted to pop in to tell you I am thinking about you during refeed. I am a bit off today as my husband was in a motorcycle accident and broke his leg. I am going to get some sleep and I'll check back in a soon as I can.
Much Love
Lori

Lori-That's all you need! I just heard from my nephew's wife who is starting to get my things together. It was a nice email & made me feel better.
Opening up & telling people how you feel is not easy but is the best way.
I'll email you soon. xo Cate
My day & mood improved thank goodness. The sun peeked through & I perked up & got on the move. I also ordered some railway sleepers for my vegie garden & should get them next week so will able to make a start on that.While talking to them on the phone I absent-mindedly flipped the back pages of my diary & found a note re. Tai Chi classes so I thought about it for about 10 minutes & then rang & put my name down for the next beginners class which should start in about 3 weeks time. It just felt right.
The classes will be either Mondays from 10-11, or Wed's from 11-12 & cost only $5. I know the woman by sight & she is very friendly & seems nice. I'm looking forward to it. I loved seeing people of all ages doing Tai Chi in Vietnam at all hours of the day & in all sorts of places. It seems such a peaceful thing to do. It will also mean that I will be able to join any of the other choices if I wish as they won't clash. I am letting my instincts lead me.
I am not feeling as cold today. Perhaps the bit extra fuel I am putting in my body is helping. I am still hungry though.
I am going to try something different tomorow as I have decided that I have had enough chicken soup for quite a while. It became an easy stand-by. I still haven't had spag bol so will cook that & have the sauce on toast.
Enough for today, cheers all, Cate.

I just read the support thread & there were squillions of posts but mostly oldies returning, not our usual regulars. It felt so strange & I thought I'd strayed into another forum. It's good to see a bloke in the mix though. It makes for a change & a bit of a balance, especially an obviously friendly one. Hope he's not into body-building ()
Another foggy, miserable-looking day again today, but my mood is fine. I think I have settled into not working. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I have a half look at the job ads in the paper but the "perfect job" would have to jump out & hit me in the face I think. I am fast becoming allergic to the word dynamic!
I think I will continue to just "go with the flow," do some relaxing things, get some work done around the house (try to anyway!) & not worry too much. You do adjust to having less money & it's not so important when your kids are grown-up. I have worked hard all my life & I think that's why I have it in my head that you have to work. We worked our butts off (I wish) in our own 7 day a week business to bring up our boys & get ourselves to this stage & both of my parents worked very hard until retirement age. I am going to do some volunteer work soon as I have put my name down for a class to teach English to refugees to Australia. If I haven't heard by the end of July I am to ring the College. I put my name down last year, before I left work or was thinking about leaving really. I am ashamed of the way our country is treating refugees. I also miss the multi-culturalism of Melbourne. I can't wait!
Day 4 of re-feed
Today I again add 60g protein, 80g vegies,2 "good" fruit & can replace 3 of my crackers with 1 slice of bread (w/o spread) which I will do today. I didn't get a reaction to the bread I don't think. I will see what happens today.
Breakfast was yoghurt with 100g blueberries('good' fruit) +psyllium husks.
Lunch- will be Spag Bol on toast.
I have chicken breast meat out for my dinner but have to go shopping this afternoon as I'm almost out of vegies. I am so used to eating small quantities that I now have to remember to up the shopping.
I really am hoping that I can get through re-feed without having to go back a couple of days. When I finish re-feed we will both mostly follow the guidelines as it would be easier than shopping for separate things. I won't make this too obvious though.
OK- time to do that ironing that keeps piling up. I am going to demolish it!
Had about 9hrs sleep last night & boy do I have a lot more energy & enthusiasm today for life. I had been so used to getting little sleep & staying up late in our pub that I will have to re-train myself to getting to bed earlier!
Will be back tonight, cheers, Cate.

HI Cate, great that refeed is going so well, keep it up but WE WANT PICS....WE WANT PICS WE WANT PICS ........PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE

Genie

Genie-I hear you & you are being very sweet but I think I'm allergic to cameras! I don't really have any befores as I have always hidden from cameras & I'm not quite ready for afters as I'm not there yet! I promise I will though. Just a few more hurdles to overcome....
From the look of your ticker (well done!!) you've been resisting those party pies! Go genie!! Cheers, Cate.
Day 5 of re-feed
Weight 70kg!
I am a chance to see the 60's as I'm now on the brink. I wish my scales were more precise but I am too scared to buy new ones in case I find my current ones are inaccurate & I weigh more. It won't take away the fact that I have lost 35kg but......It's silly I know but increments of .5 will have to do.
I had stomach pain & a little bloating last night & can only assume it was because of that "evil" slice of boring wholemeal bread, that turned to sog under my unsavoury mince. My new-found cooking skills let me down yesterday & my "spag bol" was pretty damned boring & un-spag bol like! It seemed to scream for tomato paste.
Today I'll stick to crackers & will ring the clinic & mention it. I am also wondering why we add 2 pieces of fruit at this stage of re-feed,(makes 5 for the day for me) when I think that they recommend only eating 2 pieces of fruit in total after re-feed. I like to know where the logic is in almost anything I do. I could happily eat 5 pieces of fruit for the rest of my life as I love it, if it didn't mean putting weight back on.
Last night my husband cooked a delicious, chicken stir-fry. He is a great cook!
Day 5 of re-feed's food-
Same as yesterday-add 60g "old" protein, 80g "old" vegies & 2 "good" fruit. May have 1 slice of bread, w/o spread instead of 3 crackers(no thanks!)
Breakfast- 1 egg omelette with tomato, mushroom, fresh parsley & bok choy (no extra vegies added.)
1hr later 1 orange ("old" fruit)
Lunch-Will be a chicken stir-fry of some description. I'll make up my mind at lunch-time what it will be, maybe a curry, maybe chinesy. I will have 30g extra chicken, 40g extra vegies.
Dinner- I'm going to call it dinner again as it's starting to look more like a "normal" sized meal! Tonight we are going to have eye-fillet steak with salad(30g extra beef, 40g extra salad.) I love my steak quite rare & my LH cooks it perfectly. The only thing missing will be a glass of red wine....not long now!
I will have both "good" fruits as canteloupe as I bought a really nice one yesterday. Canteloupe is quite filling so I will spread it out during the day. I used to love fresh fruit salad, but now I enjoy eating fruit slowly & separately, enjoying each unique flavour. That's what eating should be about.
I am wondering if when I get to the stage of adding 2 "bad" fruits am I allowed to have a "good" fruit instead of an old fruit. I guess not but will ask. That canteloupe sure is good & so are the blueberries in with my yoghurt.
I bumped into a woman I know in the supermarket yesterday, who I really like, but see rarely & asked her if she has ever done Tai Chi. She lent me some books of hers of the Dalai Llamas, last year, when I needed them. They were very special books to her & I very much apppreciated them. She said that she loves Tai Chi & has put her name down to do the next beginners class in our local town. This class, of course, is the same one that I am going to do. I have always thought that I would like to develop this friendship & it seems by letting life take it's course it's happening on it's own.
I must confess that I didn't get much ironing done yesterday (the bare essentials) & it's still waiting for me. I spend way too much time in here or reading.
I had my hair cut yesterday & really enjoyed it. I find it one of life's simple pleasures. I also quickly called in to say hi to both Cohenites in my local town, who are going great guns. I can see that they are both doing really well. I left my exercise book, with my weekly measurements, with one, so that she could see that I had many fluctuations as well & picked it up after my haircut. I think it helps to know that some weeks you might lose 1cm only, other's 13cm! She is really strong & is only weighing herself every 4 weeks. Good for her! It's the best way.
I really dislike the support thread at the moment ( ) so may stay in my diary for a while. I'll be back tonight when my LH is watching the footy as I only like watching my team play, cheers, Cate.

Hello Cate,

I was so glad to be able to read through your diary today. You are doing great (as usual) on your re-feed. I am amazed at you consistency throughout this diet. You are 70k, sooooo close to hitting the 69k you want. I am proud of you... plus signing up for Thai chi, is going to be good for your spirit. I was sad to see you have been blue lately, I wished I had been here to cheer you up.
I am going to start re-feed on my day 4 (per Cohen's). With my husband's injury I have just about run out of food as I need to get to the supermarket.
He is doing well and things could have been so much worse. He was out riding his motorcycle with a bunch of friends and was hit by another motorcycle. Anyway he will be in a soft cast for our vacation in Las Vegas

EWWW, I just saw a spider walk across the wall in front of the computer so I will be signing off now. I am heading off to bed. I will check in soon.
Good Night

Hi Cate!
Thanks so much for sharing your REFEED journey with us! It will really help to reflect on all this WHEN it comes time for me to do my own! I think you are amazing and its good to see that you are getting out and trying new things! (Tai Chi). Goodonya mate! I hope you have a blast! ...well a r e a l l y s l o w m o v i n g b l a s t!

I agree with you about keeping out of the Main thread when stuff gets all 'het' up... and keeping to my own diary... I have often thought about moving my diary... but I dont want to upset anyone... plus I think I have a bit more anonymity over here as I have given lots of people the web address of the other forum and if I had a diary there .... then... well you know... they'd be able to work it out. Geraldton is a small place. Maybe I should change that to Perth....

I bet your new haircut looks fantastic. Did you get anything funky done with it? I reiterate and agree with others.... BRING ON THE PHOTOS!

Anyway...
Bless ya
Kath

Lori- Thanks for checking in. You made me smile, just saying that you wished you had been here to cheer me up. Thank you! How soon are you going to Las Vegas? Today was my sister's birthday. She would have been 58 I think that is the main reason I have been a bit down. Two years ago I had only just returned to Australia, she had collapsed about a week later & I spoke to her on her birthday in hospital in Baltimore. She couldn't talk to me but I sang "Happy Birthday" to her badly & told her how much I loved her. She died on August the 3rd. I will be fine so don't worry about me. I just hope it gets a little better each year.
On a brighter note I spent absolute hours cutting up vegetables & fruit for this re-feed. Boy, does it take some organisation! Hats off to every-one who manages it while juggling kids and/or a job! Lori, you have to really ramp up your shopping with the extra weights. It's so much more food. Phew!
Plus I did all of my ironing so feel much better. It was starting to bug me.
I had the most delicious eye fillet steak with mini cos lettuce, mushrooms, tomato, asparagus & parsley & a balsamic/mayo "vinaigrette" MmmMmmm.
I almost forgot about my crackers today & that's a miracle. I didn't have any until 3pm!
Off to bed soon, 'night, Cate
Kath- You were typing as I was. You cheeky thing! I actually went along to a Tai Chi demonstration many moons ago & decided it was way too slow for me, so you did make me laugh!
I asked my son tonight to have a hunt around for a suitable before photo as I told him my forum buddies were starting to nag me! LOL. I like my haircut. My hair is quite short & I wear it as messy as I can get it, without resorting to "product" I would love it to be spiky but it's dead straight. It's also silver (which is NOT grey!) xo Cate

HI Cate,

Have just been reading your journey you have done really well I bet your proud as punch.....

Sorry to her about your sister, It must be very hard for you...... sounds like yesturday was a downer for a few of us.

Today Is another day, I have promised myself that I am not reponding to any negativity on this forum and I'm not going to let it to bring me to tears as it did yesturday.

35 kg's lost That is fantastic....WELL DONE.....

I found that through the whole program that water was the key.....Did you find the same?......If I didn't drink all my water I would not loss......

any way had better go clean my house AGAIN.... will check in again soon

Christie

Moni- Water is one of the keys I think, but I was, at one stage drinking too much. It's a fine balance. Thanks for your comments re my sister. It was a tough day. I rang my nephew in the US this morning & had a lovely chat. He was an only son & his father lives in Aust. They don't have much contact. I figured he probably misses her even more than I do, so just wanted him to know that I care for him & was thinking of him on her birthday.
Usually the forum is not in the slightest bit negative. I have found it really positive & supportive & this has really helped me get to this stage. I think your reception from the forum would probably have been different if you hadn't come on so strong. Most of us like a gentle wooing. Ease back a bit & let us get to know you (if that's what you want.) You will then get to know us all a little better as well. I love the forum & love Cohen's. On the odd occasion that we have had a brief period of negativity I have been tempted to move my diary over to the New You forum, which I visit when this one is quiet, but I have made such good friends here that I don't want to leave them. I don't think any-one would have wanted you in tears as I find them a loving, caring bunch of folks. Cheers, Cate.

69kg's!!
GOAL WEIGHT!!
I really can't believe it!
I made it!
To be really honest I never believed I would get to the Cohen's goal weight. If last year someone had said to me that I would weigh 69kgs today I would never have believed it. I didn't think I could be! I can't believe I am!!
Someone pinch me!
I haven't been able to get the cheesy grin off my face all day.
I haven't wanted to either.
I think I'll have to come back later & be sensible( a little bit sensible anyway)
xoxoxoCate

Congratulations Cate !

WAY TO GO GIRL...We(and I am sure I speak for everyone in hear) are so proud of you and all you have achieved...you must be over the moon...I cant imagine what it will be like when I get to my goal..I can only imagine.
You are an inspiration and I really cant wait to see your pics, I bet your confidence is building fast. Your hubby and kids must be so proud of you also for sticking to the program.
Glad refeed is progressing well.
Cheers for now
Genie

Congratulations Cate ......You have done it ....great work.