Well. You just never know what the next day is going to bring. Today I feel so miserable. Our YS rang last night & was so stressed & upset. He has just started a new job, which has so much responsibility & is so complicated that he feels totally out of his depth. His voice was tinged with despair!
I tried all the obvious things to say like "Of course, you can't be expected to know everything about a job until you're taught," It's too early to tell if you can do it properly yet", "Give it your best shot & do the best you can & hopefully it will get better each day," "talk to the boss & let him know that you feel like this" & so on.
He hasn't quit his old job but had made a few comments to fellow workers suggesting that he couldn't imagine returning & feels it would be too embarrassing to go back. I told him we all say things we regret but he could soon make light of it. A quip along the lines of "I missed you all too much!" would probably be enough.
The anguish I could tell he was suffering was just awful. My husband talked to him as well & we both felt miserable afterwards. I woke up this morning & can barely drag myself around the house. That's why I'm in here instead of going shopping. I couldn't face anyone & pretend to be cheerful!
I rang him an hour ago & he's a little better this morning(not much). I will call him this afternoon & see how he goes today. I have advised him to talk to the woman who he co-manages with, who encouraged him to take this job. It might help if she felt the same way at the start. He may then get the training that he obviously needs. He has been very up-front with his work history & has not led them on at all. They must see his potential. He has a great personality & lots of energy & enthusiasm usually. I hate to see him this way.
I'm sorry to off-load all of this. Once again just by articulating how I feel it seems to put things into perspective. Fingers crossed today will go better for him & he will gain some confidence. He's his Mum's son. He needs to feel that he knows what he is doing. He doesn't like to feel that things are totally out of his control or that he is incompetent. I really am looking forward to the day that he finds someone who will really love him & provide the emotional support that he needs. I will be much happier when he does.
I'll come back this afternoon, when hopefully I'm feeling better, Cate.

I offered to look after my grand-daughter for the afternoon as therapy & it really did help. Our OS & my LH got wood for half of the day, he went home & showered & brought our GD up to our home. We had her for about 4 hours & it was lovely. Our OS & DIL went shopping together & enjoyed the break.
I rang our YS mid afternoon & he is feeling no better. He tried to talk to the other assistant manager & he said that she just didn't understand or try to understand what he was saying. Unfortunately the boss is interstate. I have advised him that if he is sure that the job is not for him to say so now, rather than later & leave. I don't think any job is worth making yourself sick over. I will never forget my brother feeling the same way at about the same age & asking my advice. He had a wife & a baby & wanted to toss his job in & I advised him not to. I asked him what he would live on & he said the dole. I knew that he would not get it for 6 weeks if he quit his job & told him so.
I think he felt trapped. He hated his job & felt there was no future in it, in a marriage that was always fairly rocky & volatile & he couldn't see a way out. I don't really blame myself because I did not know how bad he felt, no-one did, including my parents who saw him all the time. I lived in Melbourne at the time, married with a small baby & he committed suicide, after a minor argument with his wife.
There is not much point saying you wish you had said this or that. I didn't. I have always had this fear ever since about giving advice. I am much more aware of human fragilities & I worry so much about our YS. He is a lovely person & hates letting people down. I have told him that no job is worth feeling so stressed. Money is not that important!
We will lend him money if he needs to take a break. He has a mortgage, but is ahead with that. I really hope tonight goes better for him. I think he will give notice tonight, work for them for the next couple of days & maybe go back to his old job if possible. He will be a little embarrassed about that but it's no big deal.
When our OS, DIL & GS came to collect our GD we had some cheese(King Island Dairy Blue Brie) & some red wine. I indulged in 1&1/2 glasses & I must say I really did enjoy it. I will weigh myself tomorrow very tentatively.
At least the miseries have subsided. I will try again to go shopping tomorrow.
I'm not sure if I'll pop back later. Might end up asleep in the chair! xo Cate

Hi Cate,
I understand what your son is going through i had a job like that once, i lasted two weeks constantly felt ill and got sacked anyway. Not to say that it may not get better for him. But he sounds like a wonderful son with a good head on his shoulders.

sorry cate can I also ask you a question here sorry I know its your diary but I know you write in here daily

I haven't been having yoghurt for breakfast I have a poached egg instead because I am not a fan of yoghurt do you think I should change? I just noticed alot of people are doing yoghurt for every breakfast?

Suzie- Firstly thank you. My son is lovely & I don't think any job is worth getting sick over. He will get another that will suit him better. I just don't think he was quite ready for this one. It was fairly ambitious & full-on. About the not asking me questions. I am happy to answer any questions that I can.
I also was not a big fan of yoghurt, especially the thought of having it for breakfast! For the first 6 weeks I had a 1 egg omelette for breakfast. Then I read that having yoghurt & fruit for breakfast really fills you up. I didn't believe it but tried it just to see. Sure thing, after having yoghurt & fruit for breakfast I did not feel hungry for about 5hrs! This I always found with yoghurt. Sometimes I had lunch later than I meant to as the hunger just didn't kick in at all.
I had to add sweetener to it at first, then I found mango added to yoghurt was heaven, then when mangoes were out of season I stewed apple with cinnamon & cloves . Now I have egg only about once a week. Give it a go!
I ate too much today I think. Nothing too silly but I feel a bit full & uncomfortable. The way I felt today I could have pigged out on chocolate but didn't. I am going to keep weighing myself daily for quite some time I think. Also I feel really sinusy, snuffly & have a bit of a head-ache tonight. Is it the wine, the bread I ate at lunch-time or is it hay-fever? Too hard to tell unless I eliminate the wine & bread which I had better do for a couple of days to see.
Good-night for now folks. If ever anyone wants to ask me a question please feel free to do so! I don't have all the answers, that's for sure, but if I can, I will & I hate feeling like I am talking to myself! Cheers, Cate.

Hi Cate,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough couple days watching your son go through a tough time. And I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Sometimes we just can't know how fragile people are a given time if they aren't able to let us know. Being there for your son, listening to him and supporting whatever decision he makes as your doing is the best I believe that you can offer. I know when I've been an employee or hired employees, it generally takes a good six months to learn a job and be good at it. Sounds like this one is a big stretch for him. I guess he's the only one who can know if it's too big a stretch (or too uncomfortable) or not. One thing's for sure--you being miserable won't alleviate his misery. So I hope you can find some more things to feel good about--like what a great job you did reaching your goals!! ANd maybe what's great in your life now that you have.

Merci

Merci- You're right. Being miserable doesn't help any-one. I am so reactive I'm afraid. I have snapped out of it today. I have provided him with all the support I can & have spoken to him again today. He has rung up his previous employer & can have his old job back in a couple of weeks. He didn't talk to the other assistant mgr last night but will today. I think once he has he will feel much better.
I said we could go down to Hobart to see him for a few days, but he thought he might come home for a short break instead. He liked the sound of the two of us going bushwalking when I suggested it!
My day. I went shopping this morning & bought a fantastic top. I love it & it makes me feel great. I can't wait until my LH comes home from work & I'll try it on & show him. I feel like going out with it on! Maybe dancing... We're booked to see Paul Kelly at the Launceston Casino in a couple of weeks & I'll wear it then. If he came home from work wanting to go out I will jump at it.
My size 14 pants that were skin tight 2 months ago are now baggy!! I'm in between a 12 & a 14. I think I'll go into Launc. next week & go searching for some new ones. I will have to get these ones taken in as I really like them.
I am really happy to be at goal weight & proud of myself for getting there. It is wonderful to know that if I set myself a goal I can achieve it. It gives me confidence that I can apply that perseverance to other goals if I want to.
I might get rid of my ticker. I would like to keep it but get rid of the 36kg lost. 0kg to go part. Does any-one know how to do that? I quite like looking at the fish!
My computer is throwing a hissy fit today. I think I'll quit & come back later. Cheers, Cate.
PS Still weigh 69kg!! Thought it might be more after yesterday!

Well!! I have spent the last hour or so trying to post before & after photos & I give up for the day. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I read Maleficent's post & followed the instructions. Aaaarrgghhh!!!!

Woke up this morning feeling so snuffly. We shared a bottle of bubbly last night & I felt like I ate too much overall on the day. Over-did the constipation remedies as well & had stomach cramps & spent most of the morning you know where. I weighed 70kg which I am pleased about as if I had over-indulged & not been 1kg heavier I would have learned nothing.
Today I took it easy food-wise. I am not going to drink any wine for a few days at least & see if I'm still snuffly. I stuck to Cohen's today- no bread, alcohol & only a little rice with my dinner & I feel good. Kept the water up as well.
Our YS spoke to the assist mgr last night & she took it well. The boss arrived back from interstate & he was told too. They both have asked him if he will keep working for them on Fri & Sat nights as before, which he would like to do. He also thinks he can go back to his old job in 2 weeks. He is going to come home for a break on Wed which will be nice. I feel very much relieved.
I did a lot of food preparation & cooking today, incl. making a big chicken soup (Chinesy) which I will freeze 1/2 of. I am finding that the food I ate on the program suits me best so I will stick to it but with additional quantities as per the re-feed & the maintenance guidelines.
I will try again to post my befores & afters in that thread but if it doesn't work tonight I would appreciate help. I have never posted photos on a forum before. I will send them to my sister first as she wants to see what I look like. She is really impressed with what I have done, which is nice.
Our team won today & it was a great match. Go the Saints!!
I also have to plan & book our Oct trip to Melb in the next couple of days & I had better compare some prices for flights/sailing/accommodation etc. We decided we would like to stay in the same hotel that the Tassie team are staying but it's booked out & I am having trouble getting an answer from the team whether they have a spare room booked. I had better do some nagging.
We may go on the ship & take the car(to bring all my shopping home, hehe)
Not much happening in here tonight so might as well scoot, cheers, Cate.

Hi cate

You look so great!!

Your before and afters are amazing...congrats on completing the program and reaching your goal weight.
Your journey has been a fantastic one and I have enjoyed sharing it with you.

If anyone is contemplating doing this program or need a bit inspiration well go check out Cate's before and after shots. Totally amazing and it's all the proof you need that really does work.

TTFN
Annie Lusion

I feel a lot better today. My stomach isn't sore any more. I'm not snuffly. Maybe it was the wine playing havoc with my system.
I have managed to post some photos in the before/after thread but it was very frustrating. I wanted all 3 photos to appear as thumbnails but could only get 2 to! I might try again in here & see how it goes. I have felt so nervous about posting them, but really I don't know why. I suppose I didn't really want you seeing what I looked like before. I would have preferred to find a nicer before but thought "What the heck. Just do it!" So I did! I'm attaching a different "before" here. In my after (ie now) I'm not skinny or thin but I certainly am no longer fat or obese. I feel really happy that I have done this. It's about time I felt good about myself & my body. I had better go get dinner on the go. It's my turn to cook tonight! Cheers for now, Cate.

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Thanks Annie!! You were posting as I was posting in here. I feel chuffed now that I have done this but I needed to feel courageous! Cheers, Cate.

Cate, you look wonderful!! Thanks for posting your pictures.

Haven't posted in a while, but I do check in and read your blog. Glad to hear you are enjoying some wine and cheese.....I can't wait till I can.

I hope things work out for your son. Nothing is worse than being unhappy with your job. I have been feeling that way for a while and have now applied for another job. I also took Friday and Monday off work to have a break away.

I'm struggling at the moment with my plan. Its been over two weeks since I have had a decent loss....I'm talking more than 200g. I have re-read my program today and have decided not to go out and eat for the next two weeks. I want, I need to lose at least 5kg this month.

Here's to a good week for everyone.

t

Hi Cate,

Thank you so much for putting your photos up firstly you look amazing, you have inspired in so many ways and its great to put a picture to the story. Your personality shines in both your befores and afters. I am in Perth at the moment and experienced my first dinning out experience which I can only say felt like a deviation, and I felt crap. I am very happy that I came to see what you have been up to it always makes me feel better and its reassuring to see the results THANK YOUUUUUUU

Lukie- Thank you! I am quite happy with how I look now. I never wanted to be skinny & I'm happy being my age. I can see, looking at old photos, that I look like I did 20-30 years ago, only 20-30 yrs older. I looked like some-one else when I was so very much over-weight! I'm happy where I am. You know I think you will find that when you can have the things that you have been looking forward to you find they have lost a little of their appeal. I have decided that my 'hay-fever' of the last 30 or so years has probably been 'wine-fever'. It's too much of a co-incidence that it disappeared for over 6 months & has re-appeared only when I have had a glass of wine. Cheese constipates me badly! Chocolate tastes ok only. My tastes have changed so much it's mind-boggling. Bread is ordinary, even my home-made bread which my husband thinks is delicious! I think it's great because it will make it so much easier to keep the weight off. Cohen's food is really healthy, natural food. I love the individual flavours of most of the fruit & vegies allowed on Cohen's. I love red meat, especially beef. Love chicken.. I thought I was really going to savour & enjoy non-allowed foods but I don't much. Whoopee!!
My son is struggling. He is coming home on Wed. for a week or so. I have told him just to take care of himself for a couple of days & then I'll look after him for a while. His head is in a thick fog at the moment. I think he'll be ok though when he gets away.
Lukey, I think you'll find that not eating out will make a world of difference with the scales. It's such an exact science that unintentional deviations can make such a big difference.
Suzie- Hey! Where's the fiery red-head gone? I loved that. It seemed to suit your vibrant personality! Your weight-loss goal is almost identical to mine so it easier to relate to some-one's journey that is similar to your own. Losing the weight does change you in so many ways. I feel so much better about myself now. I'm pleased that you can read the real me in my diary. I type like I talk. Too much probably! I try not to edit too much(obviously!)
Today- I woke up feeling really good. I think posting my photos was more than just a relief. I had been really dreading it & I feel much better now.
I weighed 69kg this morning & will consider dropping a kilo or two still, I think to give myself some leeway. It's a psychological thing I know but 69kg seems a lot less than 70kg. I know that's silly but..... I might ring or email the clinic & ask their advice.
Gigi recommended Bekunis tea for constipation & I had a cup of it last night. It works well & seemingly without the side-effects of other laxatives. I won't take any tonight & will use it only the nights where I haven't been that day.
I drink lots of herbal tea these days. I make a brew in a large pot with Oolong, Peppermint or Spearmint, a little echinacea & a few senna pods. We usually share this mid to late afternoon. I had the Bekunis with some Chai from our local whole-foods shop, before I went to bed. The Chai is in a dried natural form & I steep it inside one of those little round, infusers. It's delicious! I find fresh, dried herbal teas are so much nicer than herbal teabags, just like loose tea leaves are so much nicer than tea-bags. If you haven't tried them give them a go. If you see any from Liffey here in Tas they are delicious! I went to school in NE Vic with the woman who grows them. I was best friends with her sister & we used to play hockey together. She is a GP who also uses alternate therapies. I haven't seen her for many years. She is lovely. They grow fresh herbs & wholesale them.
We have spent most of today wood-cutting & gathering & I am finding it easier each time we go as I'm getting fitter. I must admit to feeling quite tired now though. That's why I am sitting down typing in here having a spell.
Trip to Melbourne!! Wee Hoo!!
Last night I booked our trip. We are sailing to Melb on the Spirit of Tasmania, taking our car, on Sunday, the 21st Oct at 8pm, arriving into Melb. on Mon 22nd Oct at 8am. We both prefer to sail to Melb. rather than fly. By taking the car we can also buy more stuff!! Preston market should be good for deli items like olives, sun-dried tomatoes etc & I'm sure we'll find a good Asian supermarket.
We are booked into a lovely hotel in Preston, not far from where the 8-ball is going to be played & across the road from the hotel where the Tasmanian team are staying. Instead of staying with our friends in Northcote we will visit. Most of our time will be spent watching the 8-ball but I'm sure I will be able to find some time to shop! (hehe-that's a joke! I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze it in!) We have a dinner to go to on the Saturday night & we leave Melb on Sunday night, the 28th Oct. Now I am excited!! When it wasn't organised I wasn't certain that we would go. Now we're booked I can't wait! Looking forward to catching up Annie!
Befores & afters!
I am really thrilled with the positive comments I have received from my forum buddies regarding my photos. I will go to that thread & address every-one personally but I don't know if I can convey just how much it means to me when I get such positive responses. I love this forum & I love to think that I can encourage people to push on & achieve their goals. I have been told so many times how much I have helped others that I must learn to take this on-board & let it help to build my self-esteem. I really do appreciate the encouragement.
I must admit life is easier now that you don't have to weigh everything & cook each meal separately. I am still going to eat in a similar way but can cook in greater quantities & freeze meals & it's so much easier. I have certainly learned some excellent healthy living skills. Being organised with my food from now on will be just as important so that I don't fall into the grabbing something (anything) "handy" trap.
I'll pop back tonight briefly just to see who's about, cheers, Cate.