I know how hard it can be to say something to someone who has the miseries so I don't blame anyone for not saying anything to me yesterday. When I'm like this I don't want to know myself either!
Rang the Asthma Foundation this morning after seeing their phone number on a power bill. I spoke to someone very helpful & he has given me some good advice to take with me to my doctor's appointment. I should be having a lung-function test at least once every 2 years and should have been given an action plan. I haven't had any sort of allergy test or lung-function test for over 10 years! He has also recommended changing one of my medications to an autohaler to ensure I get a more accurate dose. He has also recommended I have a special lung-function test calles a spirometre test(??). I should also try to be checked for Emphysema after being amongst cigarette smoke for so long in the Hotel( about 17 of our 18 years). Hopefully this will rule it out. He also suggested persevering with the nasal spray and said it can take a couple of weeks for the effects to be noticed. I do feel it is helping with my reaction to pollens.
I feel mentally better this morning as at least I feel I am taking a course of action. Also I'm not at home alone again. I had the week-end to myself, without any company at all & did not go anywhere. That dosn't help.
We went out to the golf course & took all their re-cycling to the tip(in my LH's car). We don't have a ute. One other person does this job and he does heaps for the club too. We have just got home, had a delicious tuna salad, followed by fruit salad & yoghurt & are having a pot of herbal tea. Then we are going outside to slash thistles. I'll pull them out with riggers gloves on, he'll slash by hand with an old-fashioned slasher.
I just got a Christmas card from the lovely Kannadew. How sweet. The forum is responsible for that delightful friendship. I'll send a letter this week. I miss her!
Weight- down .5kg this morning, but still LW+7kg. I will try to drop a couple of kilos before Christmas & then get stuck into it in January. I just have to do it!
The Beck Diet Solution has been shipped from the UK. I bought it on eBay for about $32Aus incl postage which was ok I thought. I'm really looking forward to getting it.
Won't be back until tomorrow afternoon so "talk" then, cheers, Cate.
P.S. I'm actually feeling much better. Typing cheers I really meant it! The head isn't so fuzzy & I can smell & taste things today. (Not good at the tip!)

I didnt avoid posting on your thread.. i just couldn't... I saw post just before i left home.. I am trying to keep a closer tab on my time and usage....Any way it really made me think.. You see, i am always scared of being that fat lady with the bad smell.I have known a few of these.. So as a result of this I am not scared of applying perfume and deodarant, liberally... iam a chronic re-applier... Any such word?.. Ha ha.. so your post gave me much to think about...

I am happy to see that you are feeling a little brighter today.. My heart truley goes out to both you and your sister.. I will keep my fingers crossed that any testing you do results in help or a solution.. I think you are dealing and communicating well.. Chin up and try and hold onto that lovely sunny disposition..

Well i cant think about these posts for to long... short and sweet... i hope you have an even better day tomorrow..
Hugs
TTFN
Chelle

Hi Chelle, No need to apologise but thank you anyway. I've just been so cranky. It really isn't me. I'm starting to understand more what my YS goes through. I have to try to find some solution to my chemical sensitivities as I don't want to have to stay at home all the time. I'd go crazy (crazier?). OK- crazy rather than just a tad eccentric!
I do feel a lot like the usual me today. I am not looking forward to the visit to my doc as I do not want to end up in tears. I actually want an action plan. A "positive, in control, doing something about this, other than just medication" plan. I want a referral to a specialist and hopefully a referral for some tests and/or a chest x-ray. I want to be able to feel a little reassured.
Our OS called in this morning & repaid some money so we are "cashed up" for our day in Melb. I won't be spending much as I would like to leave something for a "rainy day" so I don't feel broke but I will buy us each something for Christmas at Vic market.
I had better get a wiggle on as my doctor's appointment is at at 11. Be back this afternoon, after a big walk!
Cheers, Cate.

No big walk but did have a big day.
My doc is organising some tests & I have an appointment next week to see her for them. We had a long talk. No mention of food I just realised! I have a new puffer. She seems to think I'm lacking direction & when this happens I go up & down. She listened & passed the tissues(!) & asked me gently if I feel I am depressed. I said "probably, but I don't want medication". Once again we talked about what I might do and she made some really good suggestions, one of which is to do some volunteer work & suggested driving the local community car. Also she told me that the elderly lady I used to take to the doctor is in hospital at the moment. I left her feeling a little better and went down the street.
I did some op-shop shopping and spotted a notice in the window asking for volunteers on Mon & Tues and spoke to one of the women. She said they are really in need of someone else to work on Mondays as one woman does it on her own. I chatted to her for a while & she gave me the phone number of the woman to ring.
I did some food shopping and then was about to head home. By now it was 2.30 & I hadn't had any lunch. I had a big drink of water & then went to the hospital. It was lovely seeing E and I got to tell her why I had left the job. I have given her my number & have told her I am available to help her (for free of course) any time and that I will visit her at home when she's out of hospital & take her some reading material. I'll get into the habit of calling her regularly. I really like her.
So not a lot has changed but I have done a couple of positive things & feel better for it.
Feeling fairly tired out though , due to off-loading & the tears. Cheers for now, Cate.

It does sound like you've had a big day.

The best thing for depression, is journaling and talking to others about your issues. I know we have a lot of free hotlines here in the states and that helps a lot of people.

You can also volunteer at places like that and its very rewarding.

The biggest thing is to just be honest with yourself and really look at what is bothering you and finding a way to release the tension, vent or fix the issue at hand.

Stress and depression has such a huge impact physically and can cause weight gain, so its best to deal with it, even if it's painful sometimes.

It sounds like you ended on a better note and good days are ahead.

Thanks CohenInAz, I know that journalling is very therapeutic. That's why I off-load to you poor things all the time. I share the lot- good & bad! Talking to my doctor is really good as she has got to know me fairly well. She doesn't make me feel crazy, in fact she reassures me. I think she's right saying that I seem to fall apart a bit when I lack direction. I have never had so much time on my hands. Also I do throw myself into things full on & then have to get myself out of them when they don't work. Now I've become so cautious about doing so again that I'm doing nothing.
What I have to do now is work out what I really want to do with my life & plan how I'm going to do it and then do it!
That's my self-pep talk for today.
What I would like to do-
I do want to earn a little money that I can feel is my own. Not much, just a little.
I would like to go to an exercise class.
I would like to be in a work-place where I can feel a part of it.
I would like to make some new friends & actually let them get to know me.
Feel like I'm participating in life, rather than watching from afar.
Not be so scared of doing new things.
Increase my self-esteem. I mean really learn to love myself and feel I'm worth knowing.
That will do for now.
I don't feel too down today. I'll go ring the woman now about helping out in the op shop. I think it would actually be fun as well as a good thing to do.
We're off to Melbourne tomorrow with our OGS. It will be exhausting but fun & I am so looking forward to seeing A on an airbus and seeing Victoria market for the first time. It's wonderful being given the opportunity to imagine life through the eyes of a child. He's such a lovely kid! We are both going to pick him up late this afternoon so my LH can get to see all the GK's after his day at work.
Whenever I get a little down I only have to think of our grandkids and how much we love them & how lucky I am to have such a lovely husband (& sons!) & I'm smiling again. Cheers, Cate.
Now go make that call!!

I hope you are able to enjoy yourself cate... I think id be wetting myself with excitement if it was me... I have never flown... sad sad sad .... So i shall be thinking of you and hoping and praying that you are having a good time and feeling great....

Good doctors are like friends hard to find but well worth the wait...

Take care be good and enjoy

Hugs and Cheers

Chelle

Hi Chelle, As fast as I can get down I can jump straight back up again. My doc actually mentioned that. She does not think I am bi-polar. I go up and down every day sometimes, rather than up for a month down for a month. I'm like a human sponge reacting to everyone and everything around me.
I have rung St Vinnies and someone is meant to ring me back this afternoon. I have been for a good walk & I have vacuumed for about 1.5 hours so had some exercise today. Had a big tuna salad for lunch with fresh mixed lettuce leaves from our garden. One punnet of mixed salad seedlings has produced about the equivalent of at least 10 lettuces so far this season & there's at least the same to come.
I'm printing off boarding passes etc, checking out how best to get to the market so had better go, cheers, Cate

Friday- Couldn't connect as no Wireless Networks within range(?)
Saturday- Huge day in Melbourne with our grandson. It rained all day. He absolutely loved the Airbus and is now hooked on flying! We didn't buy anything for ourselves but bought a couple of little "non Christmas" presents, one for my DIL & one for our GD that we gave them this morning.
Lost wallet- About to hop on the Skybus to take us back out to the airport & A realised he didn't have his wallet. This upset the 2 of us more than him & put a bit of a dampener on the day(no pun intended). We had tried talking him into keeping his wallet in my handbag, which I wear across my body when shopping, but he had insisted on having it in his pocket.
We were not sure what to do about it & discussed quietly whether we would replace his missing money or whether we should let it be a harsh lesson(about $28 was in it). We decided to think about it for the moment. He said it was his own fault & didn't seem upset.
On the bus I checked my phone & there was a missed call that I didn't recognise.
I realised after about 5 minutes that it may just be about the wallet as I had put my mobile # in it in case he got lost at the market. I rang the number & had trouble hearing the man who answered & it seemed like I was being put onto a recording as all I could hear was Cricket, then a hello & then the cricket again. I hung up quickly thinking it was one of those overseas scams that cost you a fortune. 5 minutes later my phone rang & it was a man telling me that he had the wallet.
To cut a long story short(ish) it was a man in the cafe where we had a coffee after shopping & he asked for my address & said he would post it to us. I said to take the money out for postage but he said he owned the shop & he would send it for nothing. I told him he was a sweetheart & that it was very much appreciated.
We then had a discussion on the bus with the other travellers & we agreed it restores your faith in mankind. Our GS looked much relieved, even though he hadn't seemed upset. I think he had been trying not to show it, especially after insisting that he wouldn't lose the wallet.
Later as we were driving home from the airport, back in Tassie, my phone rang again, this time another unknown number. This time it was from a man who had come into the cafe and the waitress had picked the wallet up & gave it to them, thinking it was his apparently. He must have opened it, copied my phone number & then handed it in at the counter. He was ringing to see if the owner had contacted me as he wasn't very confident that he would.
Now, one of the funniest things about this is that he actually lives in Tassie & didn't know that we did also as A did not have his address in it. What a funny coincidence. If he had known that he could have brought it back to Tassie when he came home. He said to ring him if all the money is not still in it as he saw that it was in there. I doubt if the cafe owner would bother contacting us if he was going to pocket the notes but he had said to me that it had coins in it which was strange. He was quite hard to understand though.
What a funny world! It was a really enjoyable, interesting day.
A's shopping- He bought a replica pirate ship, a gun(boys!), a model Airbus on a stand, a sticky frog thingy. I bought him some sunnies & some for his sister. I also bought one of those magic pen sets that do just about everything. A friend of mine had bought a set when I went there with her last year & she says they are excellent. I'm putting them away for now & will bring them out later, bit by bit. They are non-toxic so safe for the littlies too. I also bought a mood ring for me & one for my DIL.
Today- We took A home this morning to catch his dad before he went to work. He loves the pirate ship. We stayed for a while & fussed over the other 2 kids, gave E her sunnies which she wouldn't let go of & my DIL her ring which she liked. We came home & are having a totally lazy day.
Internet-
After trying everything in the book I rang the call centre & eventually spoke to someone. After trying something else it was established that maybe my router has been zapped ina storm. I have the cord connected tomy laptop in the meantime & will wait until tomorrow to ring Linksys as Sunday's are usually so under-staffed in call centres. Hopefully it will be easily rectified. In the meantime I'm sitting over in thy corner at a very uncomfortable table so had better scoot before my back complains too much.
Walking around Melbourne- Wore my Nike runners yesterday, even though I feel like a dag in them & walked & walked & walked without any trouble at all & zilch after-effects. My shoes were obviously the most comfortable. My LH's shoes were slippery & our GS's sneakers & feet got drenched.
I'm not at all stiff today either, just tired. I'm not at all miserable either & enjoyed our day. I didn't even get down when I still couldn't connect to the internet. Phew!
My glass is half full again.
My back is saying go so I will, cheers, Cate

Phew is right!

What an adventure!

Glad it all turned out right in the end

It wasn't that it was much money for anyone else, just that to this 9yr old it was(is). He is such a sweet kid. I know I say that all the time but he's special.
What a lazy day we have had.
We are about to go for a short walk though.
Cheers, Cate

Thank goodness the forum has been fixed. What a lazy, lazy day. I feel like a sloth! I must be very active tomorrow. No-one's about so I'll head back to the tv. It's hardly watchable at this time of year though. Looks like an early night, 'Night, Cate

What a crazy mixed up day today has been. I won't go into all the details. Started off badly with a few mixups and forgetful 50+ somethings driving around the country-side doing everything out of order & ended up pretty good. I ended up with the router being fixed & some missing wine being located still in the warehouse in Melbourne. I was on the phone to a call centre in the Phillipines & struck a patient saint who talked me through a very long process. I felt like such a computer dummie! But it got fixed in the end & that's the main thing! In there we also had a call from our OS who arrived home 25 minutes after the school bus was due& our GS was missing. We both jumped in the car & went searching for him, only to get another call to say the bus had a flat tyre & he arrived home. Phew. So we went to their place & picked up the things we accidentally left in their car earlier.
I think my brain went on holidays today.So did my LH's.Early onset dementia...OMG! It must be almost Christmas!
My car had to go to the mechanic today & he has recommending selling it & getting a new one. As if I can do that.
I do feel fairly good even though today was not a good day.
I am going to spend the whole day in our local town tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'll do from 9.30 in the morning until the barbie we're going to at 2.30 but I guess I'll call in to see the MIL & do some shopping. Lots of walking probably.
I didn't hear back from St Vinnies which is strange. The woman probably didn't even get the message. I'll call in there again tomorrow.
I had better buy a Tattslotto ticket tomorrow. New car needed. I would love a small "you beaut ute"!
Night folks, Cate

Got on the scales sometime in the middle of the night & I am GW +7.kg so will def. go back on Cohen's 100% after Christmas until I get back to GW & then I'll do re-feed again. I'm not at all bothered as I know how to do it & it won't be too hard. I have just decided that I will, for sure, so that's it. I'll do it.
My LH said to me this morning that he can take his car & drink light cider at the barbie so I haven't had to go spend the whole day in town. Good. Instead I have done some Christmas cards for his workmates & can catch up with some housework.
I will go in this afternoon & just do a little shopping beforehand.
I'll pop back in for a quick look tonight.

A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE TO ALL MY FRIENDS

If I were Old Santa ....

If I were Old Santa, you know what I'd do

I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you,

and deliver some things just inside your front door

Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,

and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

Then restore the old color that once graced your hair

before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted

so things now suspended need not be uplifted.

I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back,

Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only a chin

So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.

You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells

and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes

No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.

Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny, (ie U.S. word for bum)

from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take,

And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid

You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,

and the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But, alas, I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me

The most matronly of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got

But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. (Not!)

Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere

Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year!

Well I'm not the most matronly of matrons but I'm a fair bit older than most of you young gals so thought this was good for a bit of a laugh!
We have our own "Santa" enabling us to be the slim, healthy & happy people we deserve to be, xoxo Cate.