Yes, I REALLY appreciate having had that lunch made for me the past two weeks. I don't know how she does it - busy job, kids still at home etc. But cooking is "her thing" and so I guess she loves finding out exactly HOW she can make food to please.

Well, the camp for me wasn't so starry. For the kids - absolutely fantastic. Beautiful weather, great hike. They even swam in the river a couple of times.

HOWEVER... I had bought my food, left it home because I was going to pack in the morning and head down at lunchtime. Before school, we suddenly realised there WASN'T ENOUGH ROOM on the school bus for quite all of them, and they were leaving then and there. So, husband asked me to quickly jump in the car with 4 kids who didn't fit and come down with them immediately! No food!!!! AAAaaaugh!!!!

I had one yoghurt with me, plus a few crackers, and the lunch friend made me on Friday, and the rest of the weekend I had to cautiously choose from what was on offer. Fortunately both meals for tea and lunch had large plates of salad, so that was OK. But.... the meat.... well, let's not talk about that! There was fresh fruit as well, so that part of fine.

Well, I hope there was not too much damage - I tried very hard to do the best I could in the circumstances. These things are sent to try us!

As I was on a plateau the previous week, this probably isn't going to help!

Never mind, once again I'm finding that even when desperate circumstances arise, you don't have to give in and pig out on the wrong stuff!! It's best to just stay disciplined, pick and choose and get on with it as soon as you get home.

One thing I'm trying from now on is magnesium tablets. I've heard that magnesium tablets help to control chocolate cravings. I don't have chocolate cravings right now, however I'm getting in early before Cohen's ends in case I feel tempted again. Having read what the symptoms of magnesium deficiency are, I'm wondering if that's my problem - too much liking for certain foods over others may have predisposed me to be a bit short in that area.

Anyway, anything is worth a try, as that will be my future biggest challenge.

I have one picture of me on hike, but it's so unflattering - me in my tracky daks, arms akimbo watching kids, that I think I'll skip that one and get something a little more easy on the eye! So, I'm going to be a typical granny and put in one of my little GD with her bonnet she made at kindy the other day! She thought she was SO stylish!

Have a great week everybody! Hang in there, or get back up and try again if you're not going so well!

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Hi Niyah, thanks for dropping by my diary. Really appreciate your support on this journey.

I totally agree with you that I won't be buying very much new clothing until I drop another size or so. Actually, the clothes I'm having now are pretty loose fitting now especially the skirts/pants. Some I really can't quite wear so I've put them aside and promise myself that I won't fit into those again. Some working skirts are beginning to swirl around my waist and I've to constantly remind myself to turn them back to the right position. Well, it is all funny I tell you the way we cope with the weight loss.

I'll be glad if I can just offer my clothes to some people - but not many are as huge as myself...so I can only fold them away.

Well, nothing much doing at the moment. Had a lovely day yesterday - I actually got a day off (well, mostly off) school and went to zoo with daughter and grandkids.

That gave me plenty of exercise walking around there all day!

Weigh day tomorrow, but almost scared to get on scales after not moving last week at all! However, my skirts are getting looser, so something is happening at least round my waist/abdomen, so I guess there's a glimmer of hope that I won't be stuck on the same figure after the weekend's debacle.

I think this weekend I will have to pull out and iron some of the things (work clothes) that I've got waiting. I'm very lazy and always pick things that don't need ironing, but that trick is not working any more. A number of the next lot of clothes do, unfortunately - at least they will for now as they've been folded and stored for so long. And I think I'm going to finally DITCH some of the larger things I've been hanging onto, not daring to get rid of for all time.

Hi Niyah, It's very liberating to get rid of your big clothes. You are saying that this time it's different. This time it's for good. I'm glad you took some time out with your daughter & GK's. Life's too short to not make the most of it, xo Cate.

Yay!!!! A drop this week. 1.8kg! That's not bad considering last weekend and not a perfect week.

Proves once again that I just have to be patient on this. I accept that because of my circumstances I will occasionally not be 100% compliant, but the fat is still coming off and I just have to wait for the scales to move!

I won't be as fast as a lot of the girls who've been able to focus 100% on every last detail, but I'm really happy that at least I've proved to myself that even with a ridiculously busy job, lots of other things on my plate etc, that there's no excuse for not doing this!

For the past three years I kidded myself that it was impossible for me to get back on Cohen's because it was all too hard. Well, it's NOT all too hard. I just do the very best I can in whatever the circumstances, and even when life's not perfect, it's still happening!

Well, I'm now 80.7kg and I guess I will have to sit here for a couple of weeks before I break through to the 70's, but will sure be looking forward to that!

Wonderful Niyah for coming down to the right side of 80s! You'll hit 79.9kg in no time. It felt like a magical moment for me because I've not seen this 70s for donkey years! Not convinced, I stepped back on my non-digital scale this morning (original scale) and it is usually a tad higher than digital...at least that's how I see it. Guess what? It is clearly a distance away from 80!

You'll soon get there and trust me...nothing feels better than hitting the 70s...it is simply wonderful...and lady, 1.8kg! that's marvellous! Wonderwoman on the way

I had a think about last week, and realised that part of the problem was that I ran out of one of my BP medications. It's SO annoying they only give two bottles per script, which lasts two months, and my local surgery is always SO busy. And, if you want to just order a repeat, you actually have to GO IN THERE - very irritating. Then I found out my doctor has left town so now I'll have to get someone else to fill these in future.

Anyway, I got the stuff eventually and now that I'm back on, I've had the feeling I've been dumping quite a bit of fluid. I think that's why last week the scales didn't move - obviously retaining fluid meant I was weighing more.

Anyway, don't care what the reason was, just glad to know the FAT is going regardless!

I got down to 65kg last time on Cohen's, so had a brief period in the 70's, but apart from that have not been that weight for probably 15 years. REALLY looking forward to it - it's the real benchmark between obese and overweight for me. Of course, nice not to be "overweight" either, but "obese" is definitely disgusting!

Niyah, I'm sure you are not disgusting & don't even like hearing you say that! They are just words but I really dislike them. Whoever came up with "morbidly obese" should have been shot! A doctor told my older sister once that she was & she wasn't ever that. It really depressed her. Your weight will shift soon I'm sure. You are very determined & strong. I am about to head for a walk. A bit late but better late than never, xo Cate

All I can say is that I have felt disgusting for years! However, time for a new attitude.

I think lots of us have to learn to love ourselves again, after years of feeling like a second-class person because we've been so overweight.

But - that will be the last time you hear me say it!

Niyah- Oh sweetie, that made me feel sad. I'm glad to hear that you will never say that again about yourself. I use cognitive therapy all the time now. It really does help to build self-esteem. You have so much to feel good about. You seem like such a good person. It will be good when your body & self-image catch up to how I, for one, see you already, xo Cate

Heya Niyah, you know what? That's how I have felt about myself all these years too! I feel disgusted each time I look into the mirror and see this totally 'out of control' person staring back. I meant to lose weight by cutting down portions but exercise was always painful because of my size! I really detest people who only know how to say "don't diet, diet no good, just exercise". Yea right! They don't know the stress/pain on a heavy person. Ok enough said, this disgusting feeling is slowly ebbing away though.

I read from Cate's diary that you enjoy a fair bit of Asian dishes? Well, I cook all Asian dishes! You might want a sharing on menu? That way you can have a good selection (I think) and I can have more choices too?

Most of mine come out of my head, however have a few staple favourites that I cook when I'm in a hurry! (As per normal).

I love Indian too - still experimenting with that, but love Tandoori, I have a butter chicken recipe that I use which is pretty different to what the restaurants here serve up (and I like it better!). Also love Korma. And - a really good paratha goes a long way with me.

Asiany - well, love satay things, sweet chilli chicken etc. However, these days I often cheat because I have to use a ready-made sauce rather than make my own. Will get back into it once off the diet (in controlled portions this time!). I tend to get on a "thing" and do it lots, then move on. Weird, I know! But that's what happens when I'm busy!

My daughter is more into Vietnamese and Thai cooking - makes spring rolls, both the raw ones and the cooked ones, and interesting salady things, plus lots of other things that I don't really know the names of. Her hubby is from a Vietnamese family so she has to be good at that sort of thing! I've tried a few things, including Pho Bo, but not so good on those ones except Massaman Curry. Again, since I'm busy, I've just researched the best tasting paste out here you can get - have to search sometimes!

When in the Philippines absolutely loved a dish they made with pork, but you need their banana ketchup which is hard to get out here. When I find it, I buy a few bottles to last me a way. Somehow they mix the ketchup with vinegar and sugar - sounds strange but tastes really nice! I love their banana ketchup.

But you're probably much better at really authentic Asian dishes than me, since Singapore is no doubt such a great food place.

My favourite eat-out places are usually Asian in some way. Perth is pretty Asiany all round now - it's often just as cheap for people to go to Asia as it is to fly to the other side of Australia, so we seem to get lots of Asian influence here.

It's just a pity these days that I get so little time to research or think about recipes, but on Cohen's this all has to wait until I'm at the end! My next goal AFTER Cohen's is to master Ayam Bakar. Absolutely love it!

But - would love a favourite recipe if you can share one. I tried the prawns you said the other night - will try and get more into the seafood in future I think. I have a freezer still with plenty of beautiful fish we caught up north last year - just have to get creative with the recipes.

And - speaking of cooking, I spent ALL DAY AND EVENING yesterday cooking for a slice drive for the school. Idiotic? Probably. But... I've farmed out quite a bit, but yours truly will fill the rest of the orders. My husband dobbed me in to co-ordinate it as the lady who usually does it is absolutely flat out just at the moment. She's such a hard worker, and I didn't want it all the fall flat this year in her time of need. I had quite a fun day, even if I did end up with sore feet!

Cate - yes, time to read some more cognitive therapy stuff. I have plenty of reading material at home - but so little time!

One of my favourite pieces of advice, which dates from pre-cognitive therapy days - concerns positive self talk. It goes something like this:

"We have no choice about whether we WILL self-talk or not: our only choice is whether that talk will be positive or not."

That really rocked me - I think somehow we think we can just STOP saying negative things about ourselves, but the goal is to replace it with positive things.

That does go against the up-bringing somewhat, when we've been taught to be modest, not too proud and know our place etc, but you end up realising that if you don't go in to bad for yourself, then no-one else probably will (except my very supportive husband - but even then I'm not so good at hearing the positive things!).

And - just on the personal self-advice to me, myself and I - here's a little pearl of wisdom that my husband learned recently at a PD day. It's called "but it doesn't matter". The idea is that IF you are feeling negative and come out with moans, groans, complaints and feeling sorry for yourself, finish your sentence by saying "...but it doesn't matter".

It's kind of weird, but it works! We had a real laugh for a while - we'd be so busy, annoyed about something some parent did, or said, or about the towering in-box of work waiting to be done - and we would finish the sentence for each other by saying "...but it doesn't matter". Takes all the sting out of it.

Now, if only I could remember that when I get on the scales! "I've only lost 300g this week.... but it doesn't matter!". It instantly makes you feel better in a funny kind of way.

Of course, better to congratulate oneself on losing 300g! But that's not where we usually start.

Try 'go in to baT"!

"But it doesn't matter"
I like it! Nothing much really matters except the big stuff, like love, family, feeling safe, roof over our heads etc, Cheers, Cate.