Thank you for the amazing support, it's funny we've never even met, but I'm ready to spill the beans at a drop of a hat!
Yesterday was ok, my daughter (bless her) is so conscious of what I can and cannot eat (she's 12 and skinny!) She helps me prepare supper at night and has changed her eating habits as well, she says she wants to be as healthy as me...and she's decided to go off luxuries!
I tried to remain present, at all times yesterday. There were voices, until late last night, saying, 'just once, we can get back to the 'diet' tomorrow,' but I kept saying NO, like I was talking to a naughty child! Funny enough, by admitting that I have a problem with food and that I'm an addict has helped me tremendously, it's helped me understand it more. I can only sympathise with other folks in the same boat, be it drugs or alcohol. I have an upcoming dilemma, I'll be attending a baby shower this coming weekend and I pray that I will be able to get through it without cheating because I sure as hell don't want to go through yesterday again! I'm going to try my utmost best, to have a cheat free day today!

Nicky J - some tips for social gatherings IF you can't avoid them. I stay well away until I've had about 3 clear weeks of non-deviation. Also during PMT weeks I am very careful.

1. Consciously will yourself away from the food table if there is one. You can talk to someone far away and keep yourself busy. Out of sight = out of mind.

2. If food comes around, look at the person in the face offering and say "Thanks, but I've just had something." The "something" may merely have been a breath of fresh air, but they don't have to know that!

3. Eat an apple and maybe cracker allowance just before you go in the door to something like that. It helps.

4. If drink keeps being offered, try and keep your glass always full of water - sneak off and refill if you have to. Else keep it full of alcohol, don't sip, and then calmly put the glass down later full as it has always been. Abandon.

5. Be the one that does the helpful bits and pieces - gets people's dirty plates or glasses and goes to the kitchen, or fills the sink.

6. A deep and meaningful with one person will slightly deter others interrupting to ask whether you need/want food or drink.

7. If all else fails, don't be afraid of the word "no". I used to always feel obligated to be the "nice" person who tried someone's "something or other" and always felt bad refusing to make them feel comfortable by accepting. I have learnt that those who remain skinny are not afraid to say "no" if they can't through any other polite way.

8. Enjoy yourself. There's more to enjoying life than food and drink. Of course, they are the staples of any social occasion, but you do become inventive as time goes by!

It's a weird life having to alter well established social habits. This is not for your entire life - it's to get you through a period of time when you are putting yourself No 1 on your priority list. You deserve it, so don't let the comfort and enjoyment of others take that away from you!

Well done for getting back on the wagon! Saying no to food is also empowering I find. I feel on top of the world when I see delicious food but I can refuse it. There is a power shift. The food doesn't have power over you - you have power over it.

You must just believe that you wont give in this weekend, it's just not worth it.

So keep up the good work. It's worth it in the end. Delicious food will still be around when you are maintaining. I know it's hard, but I keep saying the mantra :"Nothing tastes as good as slim feels" That gets me through the tough moments.

Take care

Sue

Hi! How has everyone been?! I haven't posted in a while, had too much things to attend to. Came back recently from hospital, had pollups removed from my sinus so couldn't follow the diet 100%
I've been back at work for 3 days now and following the diet religiously. Also started 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week, nothing strenuous. My stomach has been growling non stop this morning! lol but I'm not going to give in! I do not want to deviate, and I will not (power of positive thought).
I've also been to see a bio feedback therapist, who aligned my 'chakras' so I'm feeling very positive today. She actually picked up that i've been consuming too much cucumber as I eat it everyday!
There's just a question I have, I attend college after work as well and sometimes don't get to eat early enough in the day to eat before 9pm or I'm still at college and don't get a break to eat, what happens in a scenario such as this? Do I skip the meal entirely or eat after 9pm? I know the solution would be to always eat earlier but sometimes it's just beyond my control...

In the ideal world, you eat before 9.00pm, however don't skip the meal, so if it's absolutely impossible, then eat the third meal after 9.00pm. Skipping a meal messes up more things than eating slightly late.

Hi Nicky

Hope your feeling better after the operation. Yes what Niyah is right and it is also stated in the Cohens plan too. Never skip meals. I remember the first time I did program their were a few shift workers so that had to do the same as you.

Anyway good luck with getting back on board. You will do fine just hang in there.
I am also planning to in corporate some light exercise too...

Keep well - Sam

Had a rather dismal weekend. Ate dessert along with a bag of chips (crisps). At the current moment all I can think about is the cake in the fridge at work and whether or not to just 'take one bite.' I feel like such an idiot, I don't know why I'm allowing food to control me this way! I mean, I lost 12kg's for crying out loud! Why can't I do it again?! Better still, why do I do this to myself?! I'm not looking for a pity party, don't get me wrong, I just wish I knew what was holding me back. I'm not as strong as I thought I was and it pains me to admit it. I look at all the success stories and think, will that ever be me? I am so obsessed by my weight that I hope I don't just give in completely, only to hide in a corner and eat till I can't anymore.
Here's to hoping that it's only me feeling this way!

Hi Nicky

I've been where you are too many times to even put a number to. But I just saw how far you have come and you have 10kg left to GW.....I have the same so we can both do this Nicky. Okay you've had the deviatation now it's time to throw out that cake in the fridge. Make an excuse that it fell on the floor or there was something growing on it...or try and make it physically unappealing to you, maybe visualise yourself back at your starting weight..... use anything to regain your focus.
You can do this Nicky....you really can.

I hope I don't sound to abrupt but I really want to see you suceed and have no regrets....like I said I have been there too many times to count and I don't ever want to be there again.

Samxo.

Hi Sam,

Can you tell me how you got through it, what you did and how you did it? And what motivated you to get back to the diet again? PLEASE

I gained all my weight back!!!!!....and I couldn't fit into my clothes and my skin broke out and I was just sick of the yo-yo dieting that I was doing. And I decided if I was ever going to lose this weight for good I would need to get back on Cohens. 10kg is not alot to lose on Cohens but on any other diet it would be and also I have been trying to lose this for over 2 years Nicky and enough was enough for me.

You can do it and we are all here for you. L-Jay has given me a rap over the nuckles today for doing a taste test and she is right I shouldn't be and also Cate has also had words over a deviation I did awhile back and I snapped at her (sorry Cate) but I can see she is right as well. There will be time enough for me to have these treats in moderations once I have reached goal.
But sticking 100% to plan will see the weight come off quickly.

Take care- Sam

NickyJ- We have all been there in exactly the same place as you sweetie, so many times, as Sam says too many to count! It may sound crazy but I think that most of us hide behind our fat. I know that I did. Lack of self-esteem is the main reason I think we use food as a crutch & as a way of not letting ourselves get to our goal weight. Being slim brings much more attention. If I asked you now if you truly think that you are worthy of love and are a good person would you answer yes? I hope that you would but I suspect that you wouldn't. Nicky you are worth loving. You will love being slim. It will take getting used to but you will love it! Your self-esteem will soar & you will wonder why you ever doubted yourself. You can do this my friend. Find that determination that you had & focus on giving yourself the love & self-respect that you & all of us deserve.
Only 10kg to go Nicky. I've said it before but I'll say it again. If I can do it anyone can. I really think that you can do this NickyJ. Stop beating yourself up & instead give yourself lots of credit for how far you have come. I'm sending you a very big confident & encouraging hug & a shoulder massage & I'm saying "Go NickyJ! You can do this!"
xo Cate

can I have a shoulder massage too Cate......

Maybe we should start a christmas challenge....something to motivates us to get to goal.

Let me know what you think, even if it's just you and I who do it.

Hugs from me too - Sam

Thanks so much for the 'virtual hugs' Cate and Sam, I feel much more loved!!!
Cate do you honestly think it's because I don't respect/love myself enough that I tend to not stick to the diet? I always thought that I do...but it makes sense because if I really did, why am I allowing myself to be tempted?

I'm seeing a councillor to help me deal with my father's death, which happened 12 years ago but I buried all my emotions and it surfaced now, strange hey!!
I must admit, pre cohens I would never have thought of dealing with all these issues, but not comforting myself with food ALL THE TIME has prompted me to seek help. I really do miss my dad (first time I'm saying it out loud) and his death is as fresh in my memory as if it happened yesterday...I need to praise my mom for all she's done, she's been my pillar of strength and no.1 fan for as long as I can remember. That's enough sadness for now! Here's to all fellow cohenites who dared to take on the challenge of losing weight!

Sam, I will take you up on that challenge. It's Wednesday 28 October, when would you like to start officially?

Hi NickyJ

I lost my five week old son to a congenital heart defect in March 2005. Since then I have had 2 beautiful healthy children. It was only earlier this year that I realised that while I thought I had dealt well with the loss (I had to be so strong for my hubby who literally went to pieces) in reality I ate my way through all my feelings. It was a serious light bulb moment and I think that realising that and acknowledging my emotions was the first step in my journey.

There have also been a couple of other reasons for me finally deciding that I don't want to be fat forever. I have a daughter, and I don't want her to ever remember me being fat, she is almost 2. I grew up with a mother who was so self-obsessed with the most amazing body and she was always on diet and I went to the other extreme, almost punishing her for her attitude, does this make sense? In the end I realised that I was the one suffering, my marriage was suffering and my kids were not being exposed to a healthy mom.

The journey is sometimes easy and sometimes not, but overall I have decided that this is what I need to do. I am getting back in touch with who I am.

Kudos to you for dealing with your father's death, it can't be easy, but know that things can only improve.

Also know that we are all here to support you as you support us. Together we can all do it.

Be kind to yourself.

Sue

NickyJ- Pre-Cohen's I wouldn't even discuss seeing a counsellor, let alone see one & open up. It's a complicated but rewarding journey once we decide that we want to change ourselves. I don't let my feelings fester any more. It was quite confronting for me(counselling) & one of the best things I have ever done. Take care. If you need any more hugs, just sing out. I've got lots of spares! xo Cate