hi. I am fairly new here.
I am not that much of a new mom. I am 22 and i have a three year old little girl. I started at 150 when before I was pregnant, went to 170 with my daughter. I suffered from postpartum depression after she was born. I was very disappointed that none of the weight seemed to "disapear" like everyone told me it would. I went through some hard times gained another 20lbs. Was about 190 when I got pregnant with a boy (He was addopted by a wonderful family). I went to about 220 with that pregnancy. Continued to suffer from depression and am now at 240.
has anyone had to deal with weightloss and depression? I can't stop thinking about all the reasons I want to and need to lose weight. I spend so much time thinking about what I need to do, trying to come up with plans on how to get started, but I have no drive to get started. I dig and dig but I feel so empty when it comes to moving forward.
Had anyone had a really big road block?? What helped you get through it? Anyone dealing with it now? I feel so a lone. Maybe this is bigger than this sight. But I am hopping that someone can understand.
thanks so much.

Hi there

You have had a rough road - but you will find support in here for the path of weight loss - as for depression you may need to speak to a professional. WHile we can sympathise with you and try and understand it may be better to speak to someone who can help you get to the bottom of the problem.

Your daughter will thank you in years to come for seeking help and looking after yourself.

Best of luck

Hey. I am just now coming back on board after a year away. I saw your subject heading and thought, 'wow, someone else struggles, too.' I have had postpartum depression for two of my three babies. The weight gain was enormous due to health problems and I haven't gotten it off. I understand what you are going through. This is going to sound funny, but make sure you are losing the weight for the right reasons. Start exercising slowly with the intent in mind to just get some sunshine and a restful time away from stress. I have lost 15 lbs. this year...not nearly as much as I would have liked, but it still is 15 lbs. Do it for you. Do it for your kids. But don't do it for the sake of image or acceptance. Easy to say, hard to apply. But I'll be praying for you.
It's easy to listen to others' stories and assume your body is going to do the same thing. Don't fall into that vortex. Your body is yours, only yours, and will react and function uniquely to you. Just remember what your body has done. It has supported and birthed a human being! Never forget how beautiful you are. On the dark days emotionally, have someone close to you who can intervene if you aren't taking care of yourself properly. For me, that is my husband, but for you it could be a friend or family member.

Take care.

Wow Anne, you actually touched me with your reply to RaeOfHope. You are a very good writter. Very inspiring!

Thank you soo much!! I really did feel alone. I know people who have had babies and are fine. I was affraid that the only respons I was going to get was..your crazy, get help. I wasn't look for that. Post partum depression is something not many people talk about so I wasn't sure I would get a respons at all. Thank you for sharing with me! It really puts my mind at ease knowing that I am not only with where I am starting from.
It seems as though some people can just look at picture and make the changes, but I dont have that. I wish I had that. I know weight loss can be a mental game too, and that if one is not in the right frame of mind, it probably wont stick. I have come so far mentally over the last few years, and even though I still have bad days, I am very proud of where I am mentally. I am struggling to make that jump to taking care of myself..but I am getting there. Thank you again!!! It really helps to know I am not alone and that any numer with worth celebrating.
Thank you thank you!!

i have a 2yr old girl and i had to have a termination due to medical reasons 4mnths after she was born with in that week i went from being a mum to spending 8wks in hospital in a mental ward. i gained 40kgs having my girl i feel that i have no one to talk to but yet my family always sticks by me. i try always to push them away. i push my girl away all the time i will not take the meds that the docs put me on as i think they make me worse. i want to lose weight its my 21st this yr. i feel for you u i have depression and split personality disorder plz let me know how your going

i have very minor depression issues, but i would definitely talk more with your doc about your meds and if you feel that they're not listening to you or trying to work with you to find you suitable meds, you may seriously consider "interviewing" other docs to find someone who will help you.

I am not sure I can comment on the split personality thing. I would defiently say to get some help, some how. Its hard for me to talk about because I never got medication for my depression..I have been just trying to deal with it. It has gotten much better over the last year, but there are still days that worry me. I would say get help...I tried, but it didn't stick, so I just became a hermit so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. I tried because of my daughter...that's what you need to do. She needs you, and even if you dont think you deserve to be taken care of...she deserves to have a good mother, right? so give her one. I tell myself all the time that I have to watch the example I am setting for her. Talk to people too. I never talked to anyone and that made it worse, cause i couldn't tell anyone.
I dont know if that helps. I am not sure I have a place in giving advice when i find myself unsure sometimes. I like to buy large rubber bands and write positive thoughts on one side. then i wear them on my wrist (inside out if i dont want others to see it) and then i have them with me all the time.
i hope things get better for you. its not easy. its never easy. i wish i had gotten more help because then i might not have put on all the weight i have. do try. its okay to take care of yourself.
well, i have to get to school. i am running late. take care.

I just want to say that I applaud you guys for reply with your stories. I know lots of people do not like to talk about depression. I think that is the most harmful thing for new moms not to talk about it. Those who sit on the sidelines and say nothing are really making it harder for others too. So thank you for those brave enough to say something.

I'm right there with you. I am 6 months pp and up 45 lbs! I hate seeing all the other cute little moms walking around that lost the weight just like that. I just want to smack them! I am also going through a major depressive swing right now and I'm not sure if it's a post partum thing, because my husband has been in a job training across the country for the past 6 months, because I am bi-polar, or the most likely a combination of the three. I love getting outside though and try to take my daughter on walks as often as possible, she loves it too. The sunny weather we have been having helps a lot to motivate me to go do something, but I need to work more cardio into the mix too. I think that having kids makes loosing weight 10 times harder.

Hi everyone. I'm not exactly a new mom. I've a daughter who is almost 3. I was always over weight. I went from 156lbs to 198 lbs during my pregnancy.
I was told that i had to exercise immediately after the birth of my baby or the flab would never go. I exercise like a mad woman now, but the flab is still around decorated by the stretch marks!!!!!!

I want the answer to this one too. I am not so tastefully decorated in stretch marks curtesy of 5 kids and a lot of belly flab I am trying to lose. I am sure that I am exercising wrong or not enough or something because I seem to lose the weight everywhere but where I need to lose it the most

Depression isn't easy thats for sure. My partner is having problems with depression too, no post partum though of course as hes male!

Hes had allsorts of problems regarding medications, for some people they just seem to make things worse.

I have a few suggestions that may help.

One is to see if you can spot any triggers, when I see triggers I am not saying they will be a cause but rather something that may aggravate it. It could be things like too many highly refined carbohydrates or more trickier things like preservatives and the like.

In regards to highly refined carbohydrates and even just too much fruit is that they can cause big swings in your blood sugars. When you consume sugar especially highly refines ones you will find your blood sugar goes straight up very quickly putting you on a bit off a high then all of a sudden it comes crashing down. The large and sudden swings can really play havoc with your hormones and moods.

Other things to keep an eye out on are additives and even some naturally occuring chemicals in foods, some people are really sensitive to these things and the tricky bit about them is it is not always straight forward, sometimes its a cumulative things where it needs to build up a little in your system or it doesn't affect you straight away but instead a day or two later.

For example we have noticed my partner is very sensitive to caffienne, it sends him troppo.

Another tip is omega 3, make sure you have plenty in your diet as this can really help as well as sun and exercise.

The reason sun is so important is the vitamin D you soak up through your skin so always make sure when your out in it that you have some skin exposed and without sun screen!

If you are having a bad winter or bed ridden and the like which is keeping you from getting some sun I would suggest considering a vitamin D supplement.

Exercise too is very important in the battling depression and this will also help to control your blood sugars.

Of course when your depressed it is very hard to get motivated. Try and drag yourself out to get some sun and exercise, after a few times it will get easier and you will really enjoy it. Even when there is no sun, I find my head is always clearer after a good walk in the fresh air, give it a try!

Try not to get complacent, if something happens and you can't do your walk one day, get straight back to it the next day as the longer you leave it the more of that new momentum you gained, you start to lose.

its been a couple of months now and im feeling great. im more excepting of my daughter now. i spent 8wks in hospital wen my girl was only 4months old i felt like my world was taken away from me but now im just starting to make up for that time. my doctors always told me i would never feel better unless i told my mum the secret i was holding onto for 10yrs. so on the 19/03/2007 i built up the courage to tell her i have never felt so good im starting to love life for the 1st time in 2yrs. my daughter is now 2yrs and 5mnths and so cute i always blamed my mum for not protecting me wen i was a kid. wen i told her she said she had no idea now i glad its out in the open and that part of my life is over ive cried enough rivers for that part of my life now i can try and live a childhood with my daughter to share it with i want to make up for all the lost time i spent scared. my daughters day care teacher comented the pther day how good and happy i am looking and for the 1st time in so many years i can actualy say that im not just puting a fake smile on my face this time its a real SMILE.

you are all definetly (SP) not alone. I had my first child about 6 months ago. Everyone was like oh that weight will come off in no time..yea right!!! i actually GAINED 7 lbs!! I now weigh 237 lbs and I am ready to take my life back..i was never one of those women who got depressed but that all changed when i had my daughter. Sometimes i wouldn't even get dressed! I had thoughts of suicide and god i hate saying this bad thoughts about my daughter...but now im taking my life back....I have been depression free for almost 1 month now and it's awesome!! im read to lose the weight and begin my life!!! i jsut want to wish everyone who is still dealing with depression good luck...it will get better...pray..it really helps...

Evie