Chunky, on a good day, I would call myself a mess, with a few expletives added before it, but that doesn't prevent me from going forwardw ith my goals, don't use how youf eel about yourself as a reason to not do something.

Cat's right, start today - there will ALWAYS be a reason to put off making changes, something always comes up - there is no time like the present - the changes don't have to be difficult - but you have to know what you need to changeiny our diet to get you on your way.

And here all this time I thought it was monogamy men were allergic to...

Heh I do that too .. tell myself I'll start at the beginning of the week, the beginning of the month, the new year .. I suppose ultimately that's a recipe for never starting

I just went for a walk, though. Which is good

I'm just now reading this thread :] anyways. I am 5'0-5'1 and I weigh around 215 pounds..I have "curves" to no end =P. My boyfriend who I have been with almost 2 years is not overweight at all.. He is actually closer to the "skinny" side of everything. I sometimes feel self conscious around him- or anyone else for that matter. He loves me just the way I am though. I don't think of it as " wow I'm lucky to have him!" I see it more as " We are lucky to have each other!" =P.

When I look at guys. chubby or not. That doesn't phase me- just because of the people in my life, I have learned not to judge people by there looks. It's just a normal reaction to me.

As far as my personality goes. I think people are attracted to me(when someone is) It's because of how caring I am, and I'm pretty funny also. =P I use to feel so self conscious that I never let anyone see that. Now I look at it as- my weight is really nothing to me anymore. At Christmas time I will be 175 or less :] A little bit after that I will be the size I have always wanted to be! If anyone wants to judge me by my weight, they can go ahead:] It will be there loss when I am 93 pounds lighter.

So don't let people get you down, and don't get discouraged :] Show people who you really are, not how much you weigh.


Edit: My wonderful boyfriend :] and my puppy Izzy!



http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i1...05-07_0102.jpg

Hello.. THAT IS an extremely cute puppy ..just to get off topic for a minute! lol and your bf looks so happy ..I bet you guys are fit to be tied ... that is so wonderful ...real love ... Congrats hun ...


and Chunkygirl...
You can just start with a simple walk around the block ..or around two blocks ...put some music in your ears and you wont hear anything those other jerks have to say ..if they say anything .. I may get one person saying something to me ...but everyone on the street now is cheering me on ..
I go cycling ..someone waves .. I go walking ..someone waves ...
its weird to me ..that people out there can be so supportive when you are trying to lose weight ...

You go girl .. I started with a block or two ..than I moved up to 45-55 minutes of walking ..
you can do it!

And small changes to your diet ..maybe eat a little slower ... take two sips of water between each bite ..it will teach you to eat slower ..
its takes time to change your habits and what not ..
losing weight is not fast task ..but each pound brings a thrill to my mind ..and makes me want to do more ..even a pound down can make me happy!

Start today hun ...
I am wishing you ALL the best ..

always natalie jo ((big smiles))

I will start today ...well sometime today. It's currently 2am and a little dark outside ...lol ... However, tomorrow I am going to go for a short walk. Start slow and I'll visit a friend of mine. I told a friend tonight that starting July she'll be walking me like the dog ... lol ... I need all the help I can get and I find that if someone else is depending on me for company then I have trouble saying no. I'm a pushover, but it works.

I think if I can just lose a little, I don't want dramatic weight loss right now because that's never worked for me. I want gradual and something I can keep up with.

Like most of you, I've lost and gained all my life and every time I've fallen off the wagon I find 20 more pounds have crept up on me when I did give up. So, I know I can't really afford to not lose this weight. I'm 33 and I just can't live my life like this anymore.

So, tomorrow I'll start and I thank everyone, Nataliejo and Maleficient and Ilovemoose and every one for replying.

Hugs,
Rene

Chunkygirl I feel for you so much!

I am 28 and I'm a guy, and I have been overweight for about 7 years now. It totally makes me feel un-sexy! I have not been able to get in a relationship either. I got fed up with it and I'm doing whatever it takes to lose weight now!

Stay the course, you know you will be happier when you reach your goals! I hope you will push ahead knowing we are all supporting you!

I was huge and married to a skinny guy - it made me feel stink but he was ok with my weight, but its so worth it when you've lost it, and you can snuggle without being ashamed of your body.

Ooo I do cycling a lot, 15 miles is a good distance, you should be almost at the point where you can go on forever without getting too overtired if you just slow the speed down a little.
I did a 90km race (40ishmile) when at the time i had only just been able to make 50km (22mile?) in one go. It was tiring and i was bawling my eyes out like a baby towards the end, but the feeling of achievement was SOO worth it (and cyclists are SOO darned friendly!)


Classy! hehe and agreed!

The discussion about male attraction a few pages ago was interesting. This will probably sound so silly to people but even though I've always been on the curvy side of a "normal" weight, I've always felt so fat and disgusting around white men and so sexy and good around men of color (I have tended to prefer caribbean latinos--Puerto Ricans and Dominicans..they love their curvy women and they look very fine themselves ). So consequently I've been attracted to those men I feel confident around. It is such a compliment to be told you have a big butt in certain cultures and this has made me feel good about a body shape that doesn't fit into the glossy magazines of American culture but is perfect to others. Mainly if you have a big butt, thick thighs and a small waist, you are totally good to go!

On the other hand, when I got out of a "normal" weight range and into being 40 lbs overweight following my pregnancy, H definitely lost the sexual attraction in me. He met me at the same weight I am now (about 10 lbs above my goal weight; extremely curvy but not too overweight) and I can tell the attraction is now back that I'm the weight I am when we met. I can't really blame him though. He's not a shallow person, but he just wasn't attracted to me being an overweight size, that just isn't his thing apparently. On the other hand, some people aren't that focused on it. I had run into my ex when I was at my highest weight and he (still having a thing for me) was like "wow you're looking thick" as I walked away and he definitely meant this as a compliment as you could see it in his eyes, which were about to devour me, LOL.

But I think people in general are attracted to healthy looking people, and the reality is that its not healthy to be very overweight. That metabolically active fat in the gut is a true killer. So confidence in oneself helps, but it also helps to actually be a healthy happy person. That is so attractive.

Hi there! I just wanted to jump in on the conversation here! I used to feel the same way you did. I stayed in a very bad relationship for a year because I felt like no one else out there would want me. Then I finally got the courage to boot his ass to the curb and within literally DAYS I met the man of my dreams! August 1st will be our 4th wedding anniversary. I see my husband as being very good looking. He gets hit on by other woman and i take it as a compliment..but there's always that little bit of jealousy there if the girl is thin. I'm always thinking, "why does he want me if he could have her?". He gets angry when I call myself fat and is always telling me how beautiful and sexy I am. He doesnt understand why my self esteem is so low!..but just remember there are men out there that will love u for you. I sometimes think that I missed out on a lot of relationships due to my insecurities and shyness!...Now Im trying to lose weight for ME and my children. Not for a man, but for ME..and it feels sooo good!

Self projection really is key. Whether you wear a shirt that says "I feel morbidly obese today" or you just have that mood/aura about yourself, it projects the same way. If your lament is not having had a relationship, it is you. I don't mean that you're crazy or not worth someone's time, I mean that you've put a wall up around yourself when it comes to those types of relationships. People are attracted to happy types because attitude is contagious. Even once inside a relationship, if you feel like crap about yourself (body, mind, wardrobe, job) it affects both you and your partner... and not in a good way. You do have to accept, like, love, adore yourself so that you can accept those same gestures from someone else.

As far as your dietician, if you don't like her find someone new. Don't worry about hurting her feelings. Don't worry about looking fussy or picky. Part of becoming healthier involves making changes that will make you happier. You don't want to associate your eating philosophy with annoying.

Good luck. And even though there is a percent of the population that gets hives from women who are above a size 14, there's just an equally big percent of the population who, shall we say, likes a little more cushion for the pushin'... *smiles*. You've just got to go in search.

i ndunno - ive met people who are sickly sweet and fake, i dont always like them as a person and even feel uncomfortable, but i think its good to hang about with them to both learn some tolerance, and because you know they will only every say good things about you.

I know I am jumping in late, but I want to add a different perspective.

I am a young, obese male who is very active on these forums (very rare these days, rare type ).

I agree with Sirant. Just because [over weight] guys may not be as expressive as [over weight] women, they have a much harder time finding and maintaining relationships; mainly because its a very embarassing topic to deal with. Sirant put this issue directly into perpesctive in his last post.



Awesome quote steve

Congratulations for taking posistive steps!

You seem like an articulate person who has a lot to offer in a relationship. Best of luck, darlin.

But the difference is, that it's ok for a man to be overweght - - look at the sitcoms out there - a portly guy is a main character and he usually has a hot looking wife... when's hte last overweight female lead you saw on television? Roseann? yeah there was a role model