Men, Women and Dating-
I blossomed later in life. I didn't go on my first date until two years ago right before my 21st birthday. My first kiss was during a game of truth or dare in high school. And when it comes to a timeline of how a person develops in relationships and sexually with a partner/companion/significant other, I certainly did everything completely out of order.
But what I can say is that I tried time and time again. Almost a year ago is when I started dating my first boyfriend... the only boyfriend I've ever had, who asked who out? I asked him out. I did all of the asking. And the men I dated before him were the same. I've had very few men ask me out on dates (about two or three) and I can't say that they were official dates because they were all getting to know you dates. But what I can say is that the men that have had the most emotional influence on my personal life have all been men I pursued (about four in total... I dated three casually but it was far from a relationship). I have dated men ranging in weight from 140lbs-300lbs. And not to sound like a floozy but I have been physically involved (not necessarily sex mind you) with that same spectrum of weight ranges. I can say that I have been attracted to each and every man based on his confidence. There are most certainly people who will date you know matter what you weigh- but the trick is finding them and letting them into your life. I made the decision after my freshman year of college to be gorgeous. Some new clothes and some makeup boosted my confidence, but it was my confidence that got my ass out the door and talking to boys. Which I can say has never been easy for me because I am just now developing the skills in which to have guy friends where it's completely platonic. But that's because I never felt comfortable enough about myself to be around men. It IS attitude... I keep reading all of the "I can't" or "They don't want me". People-- one word-- Rejection. It's a part of life. Not getting the boy/girl/man/woman you want. Not getting the job you want. Not getting the promotion you want. Not getting into the school you want. Not getting the part in the play that you wanted. If you can't deal with or accept rejection, this world is going to have you, all 700,000
calories of you (based on a 200lb person
) for a snack. And it's going to be a very depressing and trying thing to get through.
I had a friend, who in general I consider smart but not quite wise, gave me what I consider to actually be a decent piece of advice. Dating, like most things in life, is a numbers game. It's also who you know and being in the right place and the right time. Life is a big game of chance and if you're not going to play the game, nothing is going to happen to you. Does getting hurt suck? Yes it does but in my experience once it happens, every time after is a bit easier. I'm not saying is doesn't suck or hurt or sting or feel terrible, but you realize after the first time around everything is going to be okay.
It's all in the attitude. All in the projection of one's self. And if you find yourself saying that "I can't ask her out", then you can't simply because you won't.
IMO, Steve was right and so was Mal.
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