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Ive struggled with my weight all my life. I am a 42 year old woman and am moving into a part of my life where I can finally stop struggling and start living.
I want to live a long healthy life but to do that I have to somehow get to the issues which trigger off my binge eating. If Im stressed, I eat. I have no control and it makes me feel guilty and doomed to forever be the fat chick! I have succesfully lost A LOT of weight in the past (35kg) but 20 of it has crept back on over the years. However I have just reorganised my life by making changes which should make things a lot easier from here -so now, NO EXCUSES!
Today:
went to work - drove cos it was raining.
visited next door for a while. came home and got online.
food: great day
7am:1 piece of vegemite toast, 2 cups of coffee
9.30am: cup of tea
10.30 am: 2 weetbix milk half a banana
12.30pm: homemade pea and ham soup, 2 slices multigrain bread
7pm: turkish bread with cheese, tomato pesto and artichokes
7.30 apple & 2 spoonfuls of lite yogurt
9pm: cup of decaf and tiny kitkat
its 9.55pm on a friday nite and im heading to bed - tomorrow morning is weigh in
that would be great to talk to someone else who shares this problem!
id also love to hear from other single working mums who are out there doing it tough like me.
I have a girl who is 15 and a boy who is 11, also a deadbeat ex who wont pay child support. Needless to say a lot of my recent stress has been financial but ive just got myself a new job which pays well so hopefully my money problems are behind me.
i am very grateful for my 2 wonderful kids and our happy life, so why do i still feel the need to seek hugs from a chocolate bar?
when iwas growing up, i had a very emotionally cold mother and an unavailable alcoholic father. there was always a lot of chocolate in the house, i believe my mother was a comfort eater too. i have clear memories of her having just an apple and a black coffee for lunch so there was probably a bit of yoyo going on there too. i wonder if i was imprinted with this unhealthy behaviour as a small child? i could go to the cupboard for chocolate but i was never hugged or kissed or shown any sign of affection or encouragement. There was a fair bit of physical abuse too, from my mother sometimes but mainly my 2 older brothers. i remember one of them made a wooden table at school and it was then covered with graffiti saying i was a fat ugly pig. this table was used in the house for years. i dont beleive in using an unhappy childhood as an excuse for a lifetime of screwups though. i am a fully grown adult and im the one who buys the chocolate and other junk i put down my throat. I have to somehow address my low to non existent self esteem and start treating myself with a bit more respect.
that would be great to talk to someone else who shares this problem!
id also love to hear from other single working mums who are out there doing it tough like me.
I have a girl who is 15 and a boy who is 11, also a deadbeat ex who wont pay child support. Needless to say a lot of my recent stress has been financial but ive just got myself a new job which pays well so hopefully my money problems are behind me.
i am very grateful for my 2 wonderful kids and our happy life, so why do i still feel the need to seek hugs from a chocolate bar?
when iwas growing up, i had a very emotionally cold mother and an unavailable alcoholic father. there was always a lot of chocolate in the house, i believe my mother was a comfort eater too. i have clear memories of her having just an apple and a black coffee for lunch so there was probably a bit of yoyo going on there too. i wonder if i was imprinted with this unhealthy behaviour as a small child? i could go to the cupboard for chocolate but i was never hugged or kissed or shown any sign of affection or encouragement. There was a fair bit of physical abuse too, from my mother sometimes but mainly my 2 older brothers. i remember one of them made a wooden table at school and it was then covered with graffiti saying i was a fat ugly pig. this table was used in the house for years. i dont beleive in using an unhappy childhood as an excuse for a lifetime of screwups though. i am a fully grown adult and im the one who buys the chocolate and other junk i put down my throat. I have to somehow address my low to non existent self esteem and start treating myself with a bit more respect.
I do this too, but not so bad since I am reading this book on food addictions and how to conquer it. It is behaviors that won't go away, but now you have to create new behaviors to counteract the binging behaviors. Its not going to happen overnight and you can't go into this with all white feelings or all black feelings ...there are gray areas too. Sometimes we mess up, so we make a plan to eat less the next day .. take twenty minutes to eat your meal.. You have to learn what hunger is and that hunger can be triggered just by the word food, or anything, so you think you are hungry ..when you aren't at all.... Only eat when you are hungry, or try to... eating at night is a hard one to get over. Still working on that one. U know what I do, I have an alterante route, the bathroom is upstairs, right down the hall of my bedroom, just past the stairs that leads down to the kitchen, I stop, think of what I am about to do and think I dont want to do that, I am not really hungry.. I just ate an hour ago, its my behavior, I go to the bathrrom and just think and than I run past the stairs to my bedroom and I dont eat at night... I went with out binging for a while and when I lost my food addict book I was lost...
but let me just tell you, you can do this. Dont expect to be able to tell yourself .. "I am not going to do this ever again!" and do it again, Just don't give up, never give up on this journey that you are on now. Never go back to giving up after you had a binge, try again ,and keep trying. Mindfulness is the way to go. Like why am I opening the fridge? Why do I want that food? Why am I craving it? pick it apart, analyze.. This binging is unhealthy, harmful. This over use of food to medicate oneself is harmful to your waist line, your self esteem. You can do this. You need to fight it tooth and nail...
but believe me.. you can do this
keep trecking
and when you create a diary
I will visit
I can even share quotes from the book, sometimes they are all I need to read and I wont touch the food all that badly ..
After reading your childhood and struggles in life
It's very hard to keep track with your food intake, Your doing a great job
It's time for a change and you've gotta take each small step to reach your goal(s)
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