Here I am, at 185 pounds. Again. Since you don't know me I will just give you a short version of my story. When I was young, throughout my teens years I was skinny but I had this body image issue and regardless of weight I saw myself as fat. I think I actually did start gaining weight when I was about 16, I went from about 95 pounds to 170 pounds (which ever since has been my average) I met my husband Kevin, when I was 18 I was about 170 pounds then. As we were together longer I got really comfortable and I had a pretty sedentary lifestyle and I gained weight, a lot of weight, I ended up weighing 230 pounds back in 2005. I had decided to exercise and eat better, but I couldnt get my eating under control, so I exercised. I lost like 10 pounds right away and just sat at 220 pounds for about 8 months, and then decided I really wanted to see 200 or below, so I started exercising again. I lost about 25 pounds and I plateaued at 197 which was my average for a short time, In 2006 I got fed up with my weight, with my body image issues and with my depressive attitude about my body, so I started exercising LIKE CRAZY! I would walk my daughter to school and then walk this 2 mile radius, then when I got home from walking I would either do a Biggest Loser DVD or a Tae Bo DVD, after that if I did sit I would get up and do some exercise moves for 3-5 minutes every hour. I basically followed "Flip The Switch" and then I would walk down to get my daughter from school, I would walk her back home and I would do another 2 miles, when I got back I would run up and down the stairs at our apartment complex, I would usually do an average of 1200 stairs, I would take a short break and then after dinner I would do an hour of Cardio. So it ended up I would exercise 3-5 hours a day. By July I was 150 pounds, down from 220 pounds and went from a size 20 to a size 12/14. I was really happy with my weight, with the way I looked even. One day I put on a sweater that was too big and I remember thinking "who cares if it is baggy I know I am thin" which before I never would have thought! Anyways, Kevin and I ended up going through a lot of personal and relationship problems and I started gaining my weight back FAST! At 183 pounds I found out I was expecting and during my pregnancy I gained about 35 pounds, after baby was born I did lose all of my weight but 2 pounds which is where I am at right now, at 185 pounds. Baby is now 8 months old and we have 2 other children in the house (11 years and 6 years) and having 3 children, a full time job and a husband, life is hectic and hard ... I want to lose this weight really bad, I dont have the energy to exercise like I use to, and also I now work when before I didnt. So, that is my story.

ess the mess had this on his post and I thought it was such a good idea so I thought I would copy it, and get through the answers. Right now I am basically floundering, just trying to find my way.


What is your current height and weight?
4'10 185 pounds


If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
My ideal weight would be 130 pounds


At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
My goal is to weigh 150 pounds by Nov 20 of this year


Why do you want to lose weight?
I want to feel as good as I did when I weighed 150 pounds in 2006, I loved shopping, I loved getting dressed, I was happy with who I was, and with what I looked like.


Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
I dont have anything happening.


What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
Life. I have a husband, 3 children and a full time job .. all of these things have been hard in me losing weight and I cannot seem to find a balance.


Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
I am obese, I have body image issues and I am always thinking about weight, always feeling guilty for what I am eating or not eating, feeling guilty for what I want to eat. I dont like eating in front of people, I feel disgusted with myself, and I try to eat in private. The whole time I feel ashamed.


What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
I would like to be more active, inside I feel active but I am always exhausted, and cant keep up with life.



Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
I lost 80 pounds in 2006, I had 2 older children, no job and I took pills with ephedra (before they were banned) which gave mt tons of energy.


Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
My husband and I went through something so horrible, that I stopped caring, I didnt feel like it mattered.


What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
I have tried so many "diets, they obviously did not work, I am still overweight and they were usually a waste of my time.


Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
I use fitday some, but no I dont think I would unless forced because I have a problem when I start something I usually go above and beyond and I have to make everything look perfect and it becomes overwhelming for me.


Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
I try, I use to cook all of the time, we were always grilling outside and we were pretty healthy but within the last 2 years our lives have changed and it isnt that simple. I dont cook as often as I should .. what we have in our house? Chicken, Pork, Beef, Veggies, Fruit, Potatos, bread, Brown Rice ... everything any other household would have.


How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
We go out as a family once a week, we like to go to various places but we avoid fast food. We like Applebees, Azteca, Olive Garden, Red Robin.

What are your three favorite foods?
Salad, Pastas, Tacos


What are your three favorite restaurants?
Applebees, Azteca & Olive Garden


What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
Not eat late, which is a problem for me. Choose healthier foods while at work. Don't let myself get so hungry that I binge on whatever is closest and easiest.


If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
This is sad but nearly everything, cant I just wake up with Resse Witherspoons body, face and hair??


Do you eat when you are not hungry?
Yes, I am sorry I do.


Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Yes, when I go to buffets, which are so horrible for you, but sometimes because of our children we do.


Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
Yes, as often as I can.


Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Yes, and then I get really sick to my stomach. I am pretty anxious lately, well ever since all that bad stuff happened.


Do you eat as a reward?
Usually I do, it is the one thing that is easy to do as a family.


Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
Always.


What do you normally eat for a meal?
Salad, Spaghetti, Sandwiches, Stir Fry


What type of snacks do you eat?
I love salty foods, so I will say ships and dip


In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
I dont exercise at home, at work I am on my feet and moving 10 hours a day. I dont even know if that counts for anything.


Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
When I do exercise I go with my best friend hiking on a local hill, that has different paths. We are usually gone for 2-3 hours.


What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
Hiking, Swimming, Walking


What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
I dont really have the motivation I need, but I am trying to get through each day as best as I can. Usually I will just look at my photos from 2 years ago.


Do you have rewards for certain goals?
No, but maybe I should figure some out.

Hey CM,

I hear you on how the personal problems can get you to pack on the weight. After my father passed away I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy a month afterwards with all the stress of a funeral, full time work and school and I gained a whole bunch of weight.

It sounds like you have your personal matters in order now and I am sure as soon as you start seeing some results you'll get that energy to get out and exercise more. I am sure you'll be back down to 150 in no time!

Thanks Ess, I hope so. I want to see 150 pounds SO SO bad!! Thanks for your support, I am sorry to hear about your loss, that is always so traumatic.

Well I am down 2 more pounds and am weighing in at 183 for a total loss of 5 pounds. Now to bad, as long as it keeps going this strong! I havent exercised for awhile, but today I did 10 minutes of Yoga and 10 minutes of Pilates. I do have a Biggest Loser DVD and I cannot find it. No excuse, I seriously have every exercise DVD but love the first BL DVD for whatever reason. I have the 2nd one and the Sculpt, and the Cardio Max, and all of the Tae-Bo DVD's, I have the P90 plus all of the random ones that I have picked up over the years. I am not doing without so I dont know why I havent been exercising. I told myself I would exercise for 20 minutes today and even though I did so some for 20 minutes I just dont feel like it was actual exercise, so I want to do some good heart rate increasing exercise today!!

I joined this site in July 07 and lost 30 lbs when i found out i was preggo with my 2nd baby. I'm currently not losing weight as i'm not due till november 12th 08 but hoping that once i have this baby i can get back on the exercise/losing weight trend. Its always nice to have support and be able to vent to people who understand what its like. Feel free to send me messages or anything anytime you need to talk.

good luck and don't lose hope if you if the weightloss starts to slow down at all. i know some weeks i would lose weight like really fast then next time i wouldn't lose hardly any.

Congrats on the two pounds!!!

Also thank you for your condolences. Its time like those though that force you to look in the mirror and reevaluate things and life in general.

Keep up the good work! Like I said you'll be down to that 150 in no time.

Thats sweet of you to say, thank you. I am down to 178 as of this morning but will not be weighing myself for a week. I am excited to be in my 170's and know that I am about 30 pounds from my goal weight. I use to have a lifetime goal of 150 and then I hit that but now I am thinking that I will have a lifetime goal of 120-130 pounds, I mean I was only about 20 pounds away from that anyways, so it is do-able.