Hi, My name is Casandra! I am 20 years old. I am currently living in the UAE. When i was about 14 through 18, I was perfect weight. I never had a problem with my weight. One day, when i was about 16, I decided I thought i was fat, and started to starve myself in order to lose weight. I lost enough weight for people to notice. As I grew out of 16, and into 17, I picked up on the fact that you can eat whatever u want as long as you work out. So, i ate, but worked out like crazy, people thought i was break down cuz of how much i worked out. anyway, that went well, until we moved over here. When i moved over here, i lost control of my eating and exercise, because the envirnment does not encourage any sort of physical activity, and i got depressed and just started to eat carelessly. I then went ot another country close by, and stayed with family there. I thought, this is my chance to do the starving again, sicen my family is not around. So for two months, i starved myself, losing a good amount of weight, again, enough for people to notice and worry. People started to pick up on my eating behavior, and how i go days without eating, they started to worry, almost sent me to a doctor, but i assured them i was fine, and they beleived me!! (sigh)..

After those two months, i get back to my family in this country, and start university. But my eating was again out of control, i just keep eating and eating..like there is a whole in my stomach. So, in order to make up for al the eating i did, i started my own aerobics program to stay fit, and did so. Unfortunately, i got that feeling of needing to be thinner again, but this time went on a diet. I tried the low carb thing for abou a year off and on. Dong it off and on causedme to gain like 20 pounds. OMG. Now, I am back to normal. Have been for 2 days. I work out every day, and try to eat normal. But i am frustrated. I am so sick of doing this. My family thinks I am crazy and sick for thinking the way i think, but i told them i can't help it. I told them that i am bored, and can't stand living here, and it is the reason why i have this problem. I am so bored, i am depressed, and use food to comfort me.

What should I do?? I know that low carb diets work, cuz they worked for me, but i could never stick to them. and that caused me to gain weight at the end. Every time I think about my weight it makes me want to do drastic thigns, like taking diet pills, or starving myself, or going back to low carb again.

I need help from all of you! You guys may be my lifesavers.

Thanks for reading.

Casandra

It sounds like you have an eating disorder, I would talk to a doctor or therapist. It sounds like your family realize you have an eating disorder too, you should listen to them and let them try to help you. Good luck.

Even though you have a eating disorder maybe making friends here will help keep you from being so bored! I am sure you can come up with a healthy plan if you read some of the diaries and start your own as well! I agree see a doctor and he can set you up a plan that will work than come in here and get support from us! welcome to the forum family!

Thanks guys for all your replies.

AS for seeing a doctor, well, over here, ED's aren't common, so its not like seeing someone for that is easy. Also, my family doesn't think i need to see a doctor, they think i am fine! They know that the way I think is crazy, but they don't think its worth seeing a doctor for. And honestly, i prefer to try to sort it out on my own.

Redneckwoman, you are right. The reason i decided to come on here and post was because I was hoping that by having people to talk to, who can reltae to me, will prevent me from becoming so bored!!!

I just wish I knew why I am the way that I am. When i eat anything, I am not thinknig. I just eat it unknowingly, and after i stuff my face and feel so full, its then that i realize what i ate.

I used to be ashamed of telling anyone about any of this, but now i am to the point where i don't care,,, i just want to fix it. When i am on low carb, i can control what i eat, and never get full, and do really well. But when I see people eating the foods that i love, i think to myself, "oh...one day won't hurt"..and that day turns into many, and i end up gaining weight. I am almost 5 ft 9 inches tall, and used to weight 160. Now, after screwing up, for the past two weeks, i managed to gain 20 pounds. OMG..i can't beleive i gained that much. I am depressed about it. why is this happening to me. I feel so out of control, i hate it!!

I just need encouraging words and suppport!!

Thanks.
casandra

Hi Cassandra, I encourage you to find 3 healthy meals a day that you enjoy, and I garrantee you that you will not gain weight.Our bodies need 3 meals a day. If you don't like to snack don't, I beleive that snacking is not for everyone. A balanced diet is very exciting and good for you both mentally and physicaly. If you know how to put it all together without junk food it's a win win situation, and won that you can go on with for the rest of your life. Think of your diet in terms of healthy and rest of life committments to do it.I have struggled with food issues for many years but finally coming to the realization that 3 healthy meals a day + regualr excercise is the only thing that is going to work, the hardest thing for me is trying to curb a sweet tooth and snacking. The sweet tooth has improved but the snacking is getting better slowly. If you eat 3 meals a day your body doesnt' desire so much carb. Try to make your food choices balanced this is the key.3 plates of food a day is good, that way your not overeating also. I hope this helps you in some way.Stop looking at what other people do, and make the decision to do what you know is the right thing to do and stick with it. This is what I try to do. God bless from Suzy

Also give yourself permission to have the foods you love occasionally, this is another key that has helped me alot. Just don't make it a habit, eating a good diet sy 80% of the time and enjoy a treat 20% of the time. It keeps you sane. And in doing that you also begin to lose the desire for the naughty foods that made you gain weight it's quite extraordinary, but you must take steps.The jouney of a thousand miles starts with the first step. All foods should be permited but you be the boss, don't let the food boss you!!!!!!!

tips i found: It is not how much you eat but what you eat. Eating high-fibre foods, it'll keep you feeling full longer. Why? Firstly they take longer to chew. Secondly, they fill you up by expanding when you take in extra fluids. Thirdly, they stay in your digestive tract longer, creating that full feeling. Another one is by having several mini meals a day, you allow the stomach to digest the foods in tiny chunks before the next meal comes along. So by the time you are hungry again, it is time for your next mini meal.

Good advice Borzack, Everytime I go off hi fibre foods I actually gain more weight that is a good key. I think a lot of people are afraid to allow themselves to feel full. I know I did. I was never satisfied till I found a good hi fibre diet and it does work!!!! Also it burns more calories when your body has to work ro digest food. Less exersise ha ha ha ha !!!! Not everyone loves it, or are able to do a lot through injurys or sickness.

Suzyq and Borzack,

Thank you much for all your tips. and I don't want you to think that I read your tips and just ignored them, becuase I didn't. But I have tried every single tip you have mentioned. Nothing works. As for eating three balanced meals, well, i think to myself, whats the fun in that. I swear I could write a book about my life, becuase there are so many things that i do, but are accompanied by "BUT......". I know that you must think that if eating balanced meals is no fun, then i must not want to get well that bad, but thats not true. I think I have gotten to the point where i think its ok to lie to myself, and still am till today. I know that what i am doing right now is not healthy. I go from morning until at least 5 in the afternoon with no food, and rarely a drink, and when i get home, i eat a meal, some bread, and snack on fruit and veggies. This way works GREAT for me, and I feel GREAT doing it. I also work out at night, every day...if not a routine workout, then just a dance workout that i create..I love to dance!!! I do series of toning moves for ALL parts of the body....its tense!!!

Anyway, I feel great now...NOt so depressed anymore like i was when i first came on here!! For sure, you guys have helped me think a little, and that is why I am at a stage where i am comfortable with my eating, even though its not healthy.

I will keep coming on here......And thank you all for all your support..

Good luck to all

Casandra

Glad to see it. Sounds like this site should be bookmarked, and hopefully you're finding the same thing that I am.. that the people here are awesome, and yes, we can relate, or we wouldn't be members of a board with this title.

Hang in there.. if you need help, it seems you've come to the right place.

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