I’m 28 years old and I’ve been overweight for most of my life. Since about 14 yrs old I guess. I’ve tried therapy for overeating and binge-eating, hypnosis, fad diets, diet pills, and chat forums. I went to a couple 12 step overeaters anonymous meetings. Nothing seems to help me. Nothing seems to change that nagging feeling I have in my body that keeps telling me to eat. I am due to get married this fall and I want to look pretty. Right now I feel like a big fat pig. I hate it. I feel like I should just give up and deal with being fat, but I don’t want. I like chat forums, but it’s still not the same as having a friend to help you through it all. I live in Southern California and I do not have family here. I have a few friends, but they either don’t need to lose weight or don’t want to. I need to find someone to do this with. By “this” I mean lose weight and get healthy. I don’t have the support I need, and worst of all my drive comes and goes. Today I’m feeling lost and hopeless. I wish there was some hole I could crawl into for a while. Just long enough for these feelings to pass. If anyone knows of any walking groups in Southern California let me know. I’m looking for something, someone, or anything to help me.

Welcome Sarah.

Your feelings are pretty common around here. I would encourage you to try therapy again - but for help with your feelings. It's hard to get motivated if you'd rather crawl into a hole.

Part of getting healthy is getting happy. Or - content at least. The hormones released by such strong negative emotions certainly do not help weight loss.

Then, I encourage you to try small manageable changes that won't overwhelm you. Focus on changing one snack of chips to a snack of fruit per day. Then pick another the next week. Because we are developing a new lifestyle you don't need to do it all at once.

Congratulations for the upcoming marriage.

your fiance loves you and doesn't think you're a fat pig so dont see yourself that way either, see yourself the way he does - and love yourself - it helps a lot when trying to achieve goals.

you've stumbled into a place where the friendships might be virtual but the support you will get is real - and Iwill almost guarentee that someone has felt like you do right now and has been in your shoes or is there right now.

Have you put together a plan for losing the weight you want? One of the things many of us find helps -is using an online food journal like the ones at FitDay - Free Weight Loss and Diet Journal - to record your eating - you also might want to record in a separate journal how you are feeling when you are eating and what you ate -then work towards alternate behavior when that mood hits...

start yourself up a diary below and the support will find you

Thanks for your support. I do use FitDay and I started a journal. I just hope I can stick to it. Without someon eholding me accountable, I tend to make excuses for myself. Today is just a bad day I guess.

we all make excuses for ourself - trust us - we're pretty good at nagging - start that diary up below and we'l be on you every day

If you are having trouble sticking with a plan - consider that it might be the plan you are using - you really want a plan that you can use the rest of your life - so try to fit all your favorites in - in moderation

My wife has been overweight most of our 28 years together. I love her very much. She has given me 3 beautiful sons who have grown up and left home. Her being overweight has never and will never make me love her any less. Just because you are overweight doesn't mean you are not a beautiful person! There is more to life than looks, trust me. I agree with maleficent. You just need to accept yourself, be happy and then you will gain confidence and later, the motivation will come. So just be happy you're alive and have a fiance who loves you! Everything else will fall in place!

Best of luck to you and you.

-Bill

Hello and welcome to the forum.