So I went to Atlanta and saw my exboyfriend this past weekend. Please tell me why my dumbass had to hook up with him?

I am usually your 'strong', persistent, never give in girl when it comes to guys. Not this one unfortunately.

Now I'm like GAHH why did i do that?

Anyone else hear me? Have any similar situations?

I hear you, girl!

My ex had me in his vice for a year and a half. We were each others first...EVERYTHING....and it was hard to get over him. I mean I broke up with him and quickly started dating someone else to get over the pain...(he lied to me about some really important things)...While I did have the comfort of someone else, I couldn't get over my ex and we kept hanging out with each other. He kept asking to get back with me, and so many times I thought about leaving the one guy who was treating me right for the guy who treated me wrong. I'm glad I listened to my heart and stayed with the "re-bound" cuz he really is the one, we been together for 4 years now..yay!

BUT YEA...ex's have a tendency to creep up in our lives because they can..and they know what power they hold. AND believe you me, it is a pain in the ass not to let them see how they make you feel


but they are your Ex for a reason you know? It may be hard to stick to your guns but if the decision you made is the truest in your heart you will see that your feelings will overcome such easy temptations...

I may not be making any sense tho...heehee

You totally make sense! We were each other's firsts too - and I really think (especially for a girl - that = emotional connection FOREVER!) I am so glad you stayed with your guy though.

I don't know what it is about this crazy guy.. There is this old song called 'easy on the eyes, and hard on the heart' and i'm like THAT IS HIM! it was great while it lasted - and now we are hours apart (which is actually a good thing) and me, having some guilt, would at least like to talk with him more - but am refraining from that too. lol.. i was so dumb.

thanks for your thoughts

sorry - just had to bitch some more...

i am worried about myself (as lame as this sounds)... i am the one who is caring too much and he is not... not a good thing... how do you not care? i, unfortunately, have had these feelings since we broke up.. for the last 4 years... yeah.. not a good thing but totally my own stupid fault.

for about a year i made the decision not to talk to him, answer his calls, see him, etc.. then i gave in. i am so regretting it.

Morning,

I can really understand your feelings. How do you NOT care? Short answer: by internalizing how truly super a person you are...and how you shouldn't waste yourself on someone who lacks the ability to appreciate you.

And how do you come to peace with what happened?

One thing that I've learned over my vast eons of experience is:

Everything...happens for a reason. You might not know why at that very moment, or the next week, or the next year, or the next decade....but...we always learn something from every agonizingly bad choice we make.

In this case, I think you've learned how your emotions work and play with your mind....which will be helpful in the future when such a situation arises again. You've learned that a short-term gratification can lead to long-term regrets.

Life is for living...and sometimes, we yield when we shouldn't. But if you didn't indulge, you might always ask yourself in the future, what did I miss?

But you didn't miss it...you went for it, and you are now armed with that knowledge for the future. No what-ifs...you know.

Honor your feelings and then let them go. Take whatever learning you can ... and add that to your own inner strength for the future. It might help you more than you know.

Best wishes,

Barbara

Beautifull written! I especially love this : "Honor your feelings and then let them go. Take whatever learning you can ... and add that to your own inner strength for the future. It might help you more than you know"... So true....

You are right- I took a chance - acting upon instinct and short term gratification. Now I view it as a mistake. But if I didn't do it perhaps I would have always wondered "what if"..

Thanks so much for your valuable and kind words. You are so eloquent!

My pleasure, glad I could help! I've had sooooooo many adventures/experiences/traumas/heartaches/dizzying peaks/etc in my life; I've finally learned how to internalize them, take whatever wisdom from them I can, and then let go and move on.

Every moment...is a teaching moment. Sometimes for yourself, sometimes for others. 'Tis one of the things that makes life worth living.

Best wishes,

Barbara