this makes even me want another one...

well for the 1 min & 8 secs it lasts for anyway!! LOL

all together now ahhhhh...


YouTube - Twin Baby Boys Laughing at Each Other

Awww fer cute!

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"


The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"

http://www.utexasclan.com/photos/alb.../complete3.jpg

similar to LOLcats

Man returns home early from a business trip


A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a
taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home,
he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and he intended to
catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back,
and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted, 'Don't do it! This man has been very generous!
I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I gave
you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh
Steelers AND Florida Gator season tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our
country club membership, and he even pays for the monthly dues!'
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cabby and said, 'What would you do?'

The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a
cold."

A chicken walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve poultry."
The chicken says, "That's ok. I just want a drink."

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check ."

"Oh, by the way, don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just laid there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally, the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!

Why fly first class?

The Gator Sports Board - Forum

Q:


How many women with PMT does it take to change a light
bulb?


Woman'sAnswer:


One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this fuck'n house knows HOW to change a fuck'n light bulb! They don't even know that the fuck'n bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE fuck'n DAYS before they figured it out.

And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the god damned light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them,

2 DAYS LATER, the fuck'n chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would

STILL BE IN THE SAME fuck'n SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO FUCKER EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE FUCK'N PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FUCK'N HOUSE!!
IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES
THE FUCK'N TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry.

What was the question?

don't do sports so absolutely no clue what this is all about. OU stands for open university in the UK but i'm guessing it means something different in the US!!

but i did like the voodoo dick & woodcutter jokes

edit...
&the parrot one!!

a nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.

she says 'i'm going to die soon but i want to have sex before i do but i must remain a virgin so it must be anal and i can't commit adultery so the man must be single, can you fulfill my wish?'

yes says the driver and fulfills her wish...then feeling guilty says 'i'm sorry i lied, i'm married with 3 children'

thats ok said the nun i lied too. 'my name is kevin and i'm going to a fancy dress party!'

I haven't said those words, but I've definitely heard them many, many, MANY times before. You women folk can be scary at times.

This is one of my all-time favorite jokes...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he is sitting there, waiting for his beer, a girl walks up to the bar and he overhears her ordering a Grasshopper.

At the end of the night, as the guy is walking home from the bar, he notices a grasshopper sitting on the sidewalk. The guy stops and goes, "OH MY GOD...they have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks up at the guy and says, "There's a drink named Mike?"

haven't we all!!?

the way i look at it is like this...the poor little lambs (that'd be the men folk...)

have it good for 3 wks out of 4...most of the time i can let things go over my head...for instance been waiting since sunday for my eldest to hoover his room & pass the vacum cleaner back down...we may well be knee deep in dust that needs to be hoovered up downstairs (ok maybe a slight exaggeration!!) but hell will freeze over before i'll do it for him hes 20 FGS!!

but my point is...i am not letting it bother me (well not too much LOL) now if this was 'that' time of the month...i'd be obsessed with why he hadn't done it & would probably think he was doing it...or rather not doing it...just to piss me off (which is not true hes just a typical student & will put things off for as long as he can) b/c with PMT (or PMS as think you say in US)...everything feels very personal...but if men were coping with hormones surging all over the place & everything else they'd be a bit bloody touchy & sensitive too!!

i often ask myself in the middle of a bout of loony/PMTness would i be feeling like this/arguing about this/that etc if it wasn't 'that' time of the month??

but the thing is you can't escape from the inside of your own hormonally challenged head so of course i always convince myself that i would!! oh...& that its them...not me!!! well i would say that wouldn't i!!?

btw
for the other 3 weeks i'm an ...so whats the big deal about a few days of crazy a month??!

I'm sorry... but it's hard for me to trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.