My father just died.

JerryClarke18 · September 26th, 2009, 11:03 AM

Hi, my father just died; just like that.

A few months ago I had decided to loose weight, and I started a journal here, and it was going great, until... my aunt died (she wasn't "just an aunt") in May. I dropped everything. I was getting better, you know, getting out of the "life is pointless" cycle that tends to come along when someone dies.

Today, one of my half brothers, came and told me my father died this morning. This was 40m ago. It seems it was a hearth attack or something like that, I don't have more information right now.

All I can say is, what a year... If someone else dies in the foreseeable future, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

This, however, is a "no more" moment; I can't continue to gain weight, I just can't, or I'll end up dead, like my aunt and my father (not for the same reasons), and I won't enjoy life to the fullest. So, this time I'm not letting his death depress me, I'm going to loose my weight, all of it, and I'm going to do the last thing my father asked me, to finish school and go to college.

I'm sorry for this post, I'm usually not the kind of person that talks about his personal problems on the internet, but I just needed to vent a little.

Thanks for reading this.

Fat to Fabulous · September 26th, 2009, 03:34 PM

Hey Jerry,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you have the strength to get through this and continue losing weight. At the moment though I wold concentrate on healing mentally and the physical side will come in time.

Best of luck.

Cord the Seeker · September 26th, 2009, 10:14 PM

Heartfelt condolences, Jerry

Quote:

Originally Posted by JerryClarke18

I'm going to loose my weight, all of it, and I'm going to do the last thing my father asked me, to finish school and go to college.

I think this is an excellent way to honour his memory.

The mind, body and spirit are all tied together. I think working on improving your health will be a good thing for you, mentally and spiritually.

Take care.

katiedid · September 27th, 2009, 12:28 AM

I am so so very sorry for your loss. I am not sure what advise I can give since I have never lost a parent, but I hope you are able to stay strong and get through this tough time. It is unfortunate that sometimes the hardest times in life help us to see ourselves and what we want for our future most clearly. I hope that you are able to achieve all of your goals. We're here to help you get there. Again, you have my condolences. Stay strong.

ChefChiTown · September 29th, 2009, 03:36 PM

No apology is going to change what has already happened, so I won't waste your time by saying "I'm sorry". But, I will say "keep your head up". I've been through (and am still going through) tough times and it has greatly effected my weight loss. I'm still battling through it, but there's something that I have already learned from my experience...

DON'T GIVE UP

I know that losing your father isn't an easy thing to deal with, but don't let it discourage you from losing weight or keeping motivated. In fact, let it do the opposite and let it encourage you. I don't know your father and I don't know anything about him, but, I think we can all agree that your father would want you to be happy; happy and healthy. Keep your chin up.

JerryClarke18 · October 1st, 2009, 08:53 AM

Thanks for the support guys.

Over the last few days, I found out a massive amount of information I didn't know about my father. A lot to take to be honest.

I've made an appointment with a doctor who specializes on weight loss, we'll see how that goes.

Just a few minutes ago I called my half sister to arrange a meeting (she has to give me a third of my dad's ashes, which I plan to make into a diamond; I know he would have like that), and I called her to my dad's cellphone, since she told me she would be carrying it for the next few days. She didn't pick up, the answering machine did; the message was recorded by my dad. At least now I have a 1.5 seconds message of his voice saying his name.

Steve · October 1st, 2009, 12:17 PM

Saw this earlier today and thought maybe you'd enjoy the read:

Quote:

There are instances in his existence where a man finds himself up against the wall. Shoved there by society, leaned on by life, cornered by circumstance. Lacking the headroom to breathe deeply, the elbow room to move comfortably, the open space to spread his wings. The pressure mounts as he feels his shoulder blades pressing against the cold brick. The darkness envelopes him as he ponders his ever-contracting space, struggling to focus on the thinnest sliver of daylight, his mind no longer able to conjure a light at the end of this black chasm. His lungs are unable to expand, allowing for only the most shallow of breaths . At this, the most defining of moments, he is left to make a choice. Fight or die. Cave, relent and fold up like a cheap tent or continue on resisting, with no promise of survival, with no guarantee that his most valiant of efforts will not be mere acts of futility. The truth that reality TV, network sitcoms and music videos won’t tell you… The fact ignored in your favorite celebrity’s self-aggrandizing blog is that there is dignity to be found in struggle. There is honor to be discovered in your pain and sacrifice, splendor in the ugliness that defines human survival. Life, at its essence, is a war of attrition—the paradoxical situation in which a man must be willing to give his dying breath in his effort to endure, to lose it all in order to win. At the dusk of our days, let the sun not set on your submission, for the true victory you seek may simply lie in having never given up.

My father just died.

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My father just died.