I am eating so much healthy stuff, i think my poo could be bottled and sold as a health drink. My farts have so much power, that i think that i am going to singlehandedly blast all the pollution out of the sky. And maybe a plane or two. I wasn't eating that badly before i was "officially" on this diet, but i wasn't hungry. But now, all of a sudden, all i can ever think about is food. I know I'm not really hungry, I just have a desperation to eat. I have told everybody who will listen (a bit cockily) that i will get skinny by christmas I am not going to make an idiot of myself by being too weak to resist sweet stuff. Yeah, it tastes nice, but really, when you think about all that congealed stickyness turning into fat and nestling away in the inside of your heart, you realise, that actually its no good at all. All it does is rob me of energy, add more and more fat to me, and make me depressed. And it is the sweet stuff thats doing it to me, i don't eat much savoury crap. I have been on and off silly little diets for about a year and a half now, and have managed to lose 6lbs in total lol, thats the weight of 2 spoons of sugar (heaped teaspoons, mind you), a week. I have been spending all my money on redecorating and refurnishing my house, now the end is in sight for that, It means that i will have a lot extra money to spend on a tummy tuck when i lose weight, which is what is giving me a burst of motivation, to hopefully, finally eat healthily for ever more. I was a size 16 (american 20) from about 15 years old, then when i was 20 i became a health freak going to the gym every day, eating lots of healthy low GI meals all day, 7 portions of fruit and veg, more excersice in the evening, plus walking everywhere. It wasn't really an effort, it was just a way of life. I had so much energy then. Anyway, I lost 3 stone 10 (56lbs), and was a size 10, some size 8's fitted me. I am 5 foot 8 and a half. I loved wearing nice clothes, It was brill to be able to go in the shop and feel good in whatever it is i'm trying on instead of feeling like crying and thinking "is that really me????" and feeling all surreal and icky. Anyways, I stayed at that weight for almost two years. I was happy with my life and where i was living, but then i had to move. I was in the middle of nowhere and was bored and depressed. I started cooking creamy cheesy foods every night from scratch, then i became pregnant with my daughter, then after she was born i didn't stop eating, and now here i am, a stone heavier than i was before i started the "sucessful" diet. When i was skinny, i may have looked good in my clothes, but underneath was lurking a deep dark secret, my saggy wrinkled old ladies tummy. I was pregnant with my son when i was big, so the fat combined with the baby bump and my annoyingly un-stretchy skin has given me a tummy that is truly awful. It looks bad now, but i know when i lose weight it will be a hundereds time worse, so i really want to work hard at this knowing there is a tummy tuck at the end of it. I have never been on a hot holiday abroad as i would be too depressed watching the bf ogle nice tummies. So I have missed out on quite a lot. I just want to enjoy life, be skinny with a nice tummy sunning myself in Fiji! Thats the goal. So watch this space!!! Its such a simple concept, just eat more healthily, and get more active. I wish the reality wasn't so hard. My name is Ruth, and i am an addict going cold turkey.