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"I'm such an emotional eater"....I've read that statement a couple of dozen times. Always with the undercurrent: "There's something wrong with me". I used to think it myself. It was the reason I often used to postpone starting a weight loss plan, my excuse for getting derailed in the midst of weight loss, and one of my reasons for regaining weight. "'I've just got so much going on in my life right now". Happy, sad, angry, stressed, bored, scared or relieved - for every emotion my mind seemed to have the same solution: "eat something".
I starting learning to associate food with comfort/reward the first time somebody said "good girl" and gave me a cookie. A good report card, an academic honor: dinner in a nice restaurant. The death of a pet, disappointment in not achieving a goal: my favorite dinner or dessert. Special little treats, rewards, comfort, celebration and sorrow - from the minor to the major all involved food.
Yesterday, being home sick, with far too much time on my hands, I started really thinking about it. It's not that we're "emotional eaters"...it's just that we're humans, and humans need to be comforted and rewarded. Unfortunately, for many of us, food is just the primary comfort/reward we've grown up with.
In the past, in an effort to stop the emotional eating, I'd somehow also stopped rewarding and or treating myself for anything other than weight loss issues. It was as if I'd tied my self-worth to a number on the scale.."when I lose ten pounds I will...." "when I reach this particular size I will..." "when I am at this weight/size I will be happy" So along with emotional eating, I'd developed a habit of denying myself "good things" until I thought I was thin enough to deserve them.
The big difference this time, one of the reasons it's been 14 months and counting since I've buried my face in pizza and cake for comfort/reward is that I've given myself little treats, totally non-weight related, whenever I think I need/deserve them - sometimes food oriented, sometimes not. A good trashy book, a fun outing with friends, shoes or clothes I don't need but want, a mani/pedi, a housework free day, brewing a pot of wildy expensive "for special occasions only" coffee, having my car detailed, a self indulgent bubble bath, fresh fruit out of season....the list is endless.
Here's the cool thing. Along with breaking the cycle between emotion/eating, long before I got even close to "goal weight" I realized that I was becoming a happier person..not cause I was losing weight but because I was treating myself well all along the way. And discovered a new cycle: when you treat yourself well, you feel good about yourself, the better you feel about yourself, the better you want to treat yourself. And since gobbling that piece of doublefudge heart attack on a fork cheesecake is not really treating yourself well, it's not the first, second or even third thing you think about in the face of stress or joy.
Here's the cool thing. Along with breaking the cycle between emotion/eating, long before I got even close to "goal weight" I realized that I was becoming a happier person..not cause I was losing weight but because I was treating myself well all along the way. And discovered a new cycle: when you treat yourself well, you feel good about yourself, the better you feel about yourself, the better you want to treat yourself. And since gobbling that piece of doublefudge heart attack on a fork cheesecake is not really treating yourself well, it's not the first, second or even third thing you think about in the face of stress or joy.
Kudos for this wonderful post, Cym. Nail on the head.
We get into a vicious circle when we're way overweight. We hate the way we look. So we eat something to make ourselves feel better. Then we hate that we gave in to our emotions. Then we hate the way we look even more. Then we eat some more to feel better -- on and on, like a rat on a treadmill.
Yes, emotional eating is going to be a tough hurdle to cross--I'm grateful I don't suffer from it except on occasion, like right now because I'm going to start my period tomorrow and I'm grumpy and I want CHOCOLATE! Maybe this book would help you: IsabellaCatalog.com
like everything else though - it's a habit -and you can change any habit... 28 days of consistent behavior.., something somewhere i read some years ago - was to keep a journal and in addition to what you are eating -the bigger question was why are you eating and if it's for any reasn other than hunger - it's probably not the thing you should be doing.
I don't quite understand the comfort food concept -maybe it's because my mother's idea of cooking at home was heating up a tv dinner when she got home from work... so I don't really equate food with comfort -
food with boredom oh yeah -that's a habit that'd working on being formed...
Emotional eating and eating when I'm bored has been a huge barrier for me. Now it's getting easier and easier as time passes, and I am super proud of myself for the progress I've made. You should be super proud too! I think emotional eating is a problem for a lot of people, whether they realize it or not. I'm not saying it's a conscious decision, either. I feel like we're trained that way a lot of the time and I don't think many realize the damage it can do.
I used to be an emmotional eater then I graduated to the mommy eater, you know where you cleaned your child's plate from what they didn't eat...now I am neither, I eat in proportions...
I think 
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