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I remember always being fat as a child, and I remember people always making fun of my obesity behind my back, thinking that I wouldn't notice, but I did. I was teased so much for it.
However there was one time that hurt the most. We were at a sports camp for my graduation trip and grade eight, and we had a zip line to climb. I ended up going up climbing up the 40 ft to use the zip line, and I did it. But it later got back to me that while I was up there, one of the girls on the ground (who was my childhood bully) told everyone "Don't worry guys, she'll break a wire", and that just broke my heart that anyone could say something so cruel.
This hurts me in so many ways, but it sort of motivates me too. I want to be thin, (I already think I'm kind of pretty, just not with the weight) so I can walk up to her and just give her a cold stare. I used to want to punch her and knock her teeth out, but I don't want to put myself at her level.
Anger can be a great motivator. Just remember that you will lose the weight, but the people that make fun of people like us will always be idiots. By the way, I had a friend growing up that was "very aware" that she had a better figure and now she also battles her weight, even more so than the rest of us.
I agree with Mal 100%. And try to keep this in mind: When you hold a grudge, you just continue to let those who wronged you have power over you. Ya know? And, while I'm not at all religious, not even spiritual, I firmly believe in the idea and process of forgiveness because forgiveness isn't about the other person, it's about your ability to let go and move on.
Tamara
Last edited by lungsfortherace; March 15th, 2008 at 08:38 PM.
Ugghh, I'm sorry you had to hear such an idiotic comment from someone. Just brush it off and go on with your life. Who cares what she thinks in anyway? If you can't let it go, then use it as fuel to make the changes you want.
Not that this will make you feel any better but atleast people said things BEHIND your back. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years being called every name in the book TO my face!! It KILLED my self esteem and even to this day I am very insecure to the point of causing problems within my marriage. My husband doesn't understand because he has always been the good looking "tough" guy that no one messed with! That stuff stays in your mind for YEARS! I'm about to be 31 and it still messes with my head! I WISH i knew how to just forgive and FORGET! It's the forgetting that is the hard part!! How to get those words, those stares, those snickers (not the candy bar!) out of my head!! I get nervous meeting new people because Im always worried that they are thinking, "look how FAT she is!!". ....I DO have a funny story though. There was this guy Brad who ALWAYS stuck out in my head. He used to always make fun of me..whenever i would walk by he would come up and put his arm around me (sarcastically ofcourse) saying, "hey sexy!" or something like that. Anyway, so a few years after high school my best friend and I (who also went to high school with me and knew this guy) went to get a tattoo. As soon as we walked into the parlor I heard that familiar voice!!!!! i wanted to turn around and go back home!!...Then i saw him..and WOW he got FAT!!!!!! LOL! i wanted to laugh hysterically! He was super nice to me the whole time I was there but i still wanted to kick him in the face!!!..he just went to prison in 2007 for 10 years so he got what he deserves, LOL!!!
I'm with Mal on this, you need to remember those comments and how much you want to disprove them now. And then, you need to forget about it. Everytime you want to touch that second cookie, envision this childhood bully's face, and drop it. PROVE that you're worth more then her degrading comments. When your exercising especially, see her face again and go that extra distance. Sooner or later, not only will you be ALOT healthier, you'll be absolutely certian her comments can no longer hurt you. It'll happen, wait and see, deary.
i had a shitty childhood too. alwasy made fun of. until i hit high school. then i started kicking ass. man i was a big mean asshole in highschool. just try and make fun of me while i was in high school good luck.
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