I was just thinking today about sabotage and its many forms and thought I’d share my experiences because this time of year, weight loss sabotage seems to be rampant.

Blatant sabotage:
When I was at my heaviest (size 18W, now I’m a 12) I was talking to a friend about my weight and she admitted something very interesting. There was a time before my weight gain that I was a size 10. Back then she came to me all serious and said she was worried about my health. She told me that she had been watching me and knew that I was anorexic (which I absolutely was not). Of course, at the time I was worried since anorexia can kill you and I started thinking maybe I was. I actually worried so much I put 10 pounds on just to be safe. So then fast forward a few years to when I got up to a size 18W and the same friend finally admits that she only said that on purpose to me after seeing a picture of us together at the time. I was a size 10 and she was a 22W. It really pissed me off to find out that this person would care more about how she felt and instead of losing weight, she would rather I gain weight so we’d look closer in size. That she’d actually go out of her way to try and give me a complex about a serious problem acting like she was my friend and concerned! UNREAL! This was pure, manipulating sabotage.

Indirect sabotage:
For years now, I can turn to my husband and say, “Ice cream run!” and he will run. Even if he knows I’m trying to lose weight, he’ll do it. I think he just wants me to be happy and he sees me enjoying the ice cream as a way to make me happy. It’s hard to tell me no when I want something. This sabotage is the enabling kind and is pretty tricky because it comes from the heart and is meant to please not sabotage. Here is where I have to realize this and not say the words ice cream and run.

Many times we don’t notice sabotage, especially when we play a role in the sabotage, so if anyone has other stories, please share so we can be on the lookout.

Alison
stuckat180.blogspot.com

I've only just started to try to lose weight but, I've noticed that my family is really not behind me. I'm nearly 300 pounds but my mom is constantly buying me candy and trying to convince me not to take a walk. My sis-in-law, who is also my best friend, keeps saying things like "You're fine the way you are" and "I like that we can share clothes" and other things like that. I don't know what her intentions are but, it sounds like she doesn't want me to lose weight. Then, there's my boyfriend... I love him but, he's bigger than I am and keeps saying that he wants to lose weight and then tries to get me to bake cookies with him. He always has some kind of homemade goodies on hand. :P

I really do think that people, maybe more women, prefer their friends and family to be the same size or bigger than themselves. I've thought a lot about that friend who told me she was worried and I think it's easier to try to keep people overweight with you than to deal with your own issues and commit to losing weight. Losing weight does require you make changes and as humans, we fear change. My mom is great for buying me all kinds of food/treats but that's kind of her way, she's a nurturer and the best way to nurture (according to her) is to feed! I now take whatever she gives me and I throw it out in the garbage, not down my throat. That way she's happy and I'm happy. I don't have much advice on the baking because that's rough, I have to avoid baked goods because those are my favorite things. I'd give up all food for baked goods!

Alison
stuckat180.blogspot.com