Hey guys,

Not sure if this is the right area of the forum, but anyways...
How do you help family? My parents and brother are all overweight (100+kgs), and i was wondering if i can help them, or just let them go on their own path because they are all grown up. I just don't want my family to go through related health issues like diabetes if i can help them. I don't live at home anymore. Dad i think still goes to the gym (treadmill for 1hr, walking) maybe 3-4 times? Mum stopped because of knee problems, and my brother makes excuses for not going. I don't know how to bring it up with them without looking like im forcing my views on them because i have become a bit of a gym junkie
Any ideas?

Hi Lozza

First let me say how lovely it is that you are looking out for your family in this way. It is a very tough subject to bring up, especially if you know they are sensitive about it.

With your Mum, there are ways of getting around a dodgy knee, and there are exercises she could do to strengthen around that area. As for your brother, maybe it's just a confidence thing, he may think if he tries, he will fail. Find out if there is anything that could motivate him to start trying to lose weight. Sports? One thing I did with an obese friend was I showed her a documentary on how being overweight can affect you. Not just with quality of life, but overall health.

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Keep doing what you're doing, maybe watching you and your dad live productive, fit and vibrant lives, it will inspire them to do the same. The first step is always the hardest. They are lucky to have a strong support network.

Lyn

Well the first thing you have to accept is that you can't make them be happy. However, there are two main things you can do:

Support their efforts - be positive about any changes that help their health. Even if you think their plan may be silly, or less efficient than the plan you would design for them, be positive about anything that helps them. For example, I think my brother's gym workouts are... um, totally not what I'd recommend. But I'm always positive about him going to the gym because it's still better than him sitting on his butt watching TV

Set a good example - there have been studies that show that things - like weight and health consciousness - can be 'contagious'. If they see you eating well, exercising well, taking care of your health, they're more likely to do the same.

Beyond that - one thing you might do is ask your family to go to the gym with you because you'd like the company. Or ask them for advice about workout routines - even if you don't need it. If they're more aware/involved they may be more interested in going. Rather than telling them to go, tell them about your latest workout and how it went, or ask them how they like the gym. Who knows, maybe they'd be better off taking up a sport or getting a Wii Fit though. Again, it's more important that they do something.

Hope that helps!

Don't forget that diet is the most important element of weight loss. Get them eating healthier and the battle is mostly won.

Like Jeanette says, lifestyle can be contagious. See if you can get your healthy lifestyle to rub off on them.

Try offering to cook meals, and then make healthy, tasty meals. Bring healthy snacks and foods over for them.

Getting them into the gym will probably be hard at first, and I really wouldn't bother. Try starting instead by inviting them on walks and such. It is usually easier to get people moving if you ease them into it bit by bit. They don't need to go whole hog at first. I started by just going for a walk every day.

And yes, don't sneer at any silly ideas they may have, as long as they aren't actually harmful. Pretty much any activity is better than no activity.

hmm, thanks guys
I'll see if i can become contagious then I don't go to the same gym as them anymore though (go to my uni one which is 30mins drive for them, but convinent for me). I'll see about getting them to walk though. I think mum is interested in curves. And i can cook for them (getting to see more of them would be great)
Hmm...wii fit...i guess christmas is coming...

Man I wish I had an answer. My best friend since I was 7 is very obese. She is now passing unhealthy eating habits on to her 9 yr old daughter. I've made suggestions, but all she ever says is "I know". Worst of all she is pregnant and has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Now she has to inject herself with insulin 2xs a day. I really hope this is a wake up call for her. I love her so much and want her to be happy, and she's not. ... She's miserable.

Mylee - it's so hard when there's nothing you can do about it. Best you can do is set a good example for her children.

Lozza - I actually bought my family a Wii Fit for Christmas last year They don't use it all the time, but they're definitely more likely to use it when I visit and fire it up. It's harder for me because I live in another state and don't see them nearly as often as I'd like.

Its difficult to get someone to change unhealthy habits if they don't want to (actually impossible). You can't push too hard or it will just cause problems. You need to find the proper amount of encouragement that will work for them, but really it is entirely on them wether or not it will work.

Think how difficult it is to do when you have your mind set on it. No matter how dedicated someone is, there are slip ups or temptations. If you aren't 100% into it you can't keep it up for long.

Everyone lives their lives differently. If you family wants to live that lifestyle, it is their choice. Don't become the person who is constantly getting on them about their weight and eating habits. It won't have the effect you are going for. the suggestions here seemed very good (offering to cook for them, getting them to go for walks). Still, if they decide not to change, accept their decision (acceptance doesn't mean enabling, you can still cook healthy for them). They are all adults, and the decision is theirs to make.

Just tell them that you are concerned and that you are willing to help them but like he said above if they dont want to its impossible

I haven't been straight forward with them at all. I haven't really said anything about their weight to them, except to see how dads going with the gym. I tell them about my activities and they know how i've gone, but the seem content. I think. The Wii fit is out though I vaguely mentioned the Wii infront of them, and then they started joking about getting it for their birthdays/christmas. I'll just see about walking and cooking and spending time with them