Well today i was speaking to a different personal trainer online and he asked me to give him my diet and fitness regime.

Well seems what i am doing in the gym is very "badly structured". Now i am fairly angry at that seen as i paid my personal trainer to do it up. And now what he came up with i'm being told basically isn't great for what i want (fat loss). It looks like it's good to get bulky by the sounds of it. Actually i am very very confused. I don't know exactly what is wrong with it yet. Waiting for him to get back to me with the specifics.

As it is i am so close to throwing in the towel with it all. Well not the exercise cause i quiet enjoy that. I just feel like eating chocolate or something cause i'm mad that my personal training sheet is possible "crap" (after following it since november), and that the scales just doesn't seem to be moving and when it does move it moves in the wrong direction before it moves in the right direction, and then back to where it was to start with.

It just seems this journey is driving me mad. I split up with my long term partner over losing weight. Now thats not a bad thing because it wasn't a healthy relationship anyway (alcohol and violence, possessive and jealousy, anger issues). He said if i didn't start eating properly he would not speak to me again. Well mad thing is i was eating properly, just not takeaways (he was in pub everynight for 6 hours and a takeaway, weekend never left the pub). I told him not to speak to me then, frankly i didn't care. I was losing the weight for me. I think he was afraid i would get skinny and run off with someone else. He accused me of it all the time anyway so what size i was i was always going to listen to how i was cheating when in fact i wasn't. So i moved out as he got angry that i was losing weight and fellas were eyeing me up (all in his head) and i ended up in hospital after that argument again. I guess i got some self respect back and decided enough was enough i dont need his crap, i dont need to be afraid, and i could leave yet again and live without him in my life. Well life is a lot more simpliar and there is now someone else on the scene but i dont want a relationship again for a long long time. Well back he comes on the scene this week, complimentary about how i look and congratulates me, wants to try again. I refuse and say i have tried and tried with years. He says he refuses to give up until i'm back with him. And i'm scared of him because he says if he ever sees me with anyone he will not only kill them but me. Police have been involved before so i don't put it past him. I just feel i should be enjoying myself but with him, not losing weight like i was, gym sheet being crap, that i am gonna get nowhere and feel ICK. I feel i will never get to a normal size. I am more self conscious now than i was when i was larger.

Anyway, sorry for ranting. I just need to get this off my chest and hope that tomorrow is another day and will be better and i will be able to give it my all again.

Hi Demented,
First, look how FAR you've come! You have lost 82 pounds since your heaviest! That is an AWESOME accomplishment!

Is all the work you've put into it worth losing because you're mad at your trainer?

No. It isn't.

Nor would having some chocolate damage what you've lost so far.

You have made some MAJOR changes in your life - you need to recognize them with PRIDE.

You are worth more then putting up with some guy who's a jerk, you're worth more then staying where you were at you're heaviest.

There will always be things to annoy us in life - training schedules that aren't what they could have been, the point is to move forward with new information and change up your plan when you need to.

You WILL get past this - you've come a long way!

Thanks m2m i know you are right and that i just to need get my head out of my butt and keep going. I wasn't with him when i was at my heaviest so it's not like there was a drastic weight loss when i was with him. Probably only 30ib. He's just a jerk and i suppose i should just get it into my head that i can get to goal and strut past him in a mini-skirt ha. For the first two months in the gym i used to think of him and hit it up a notch lol.

I'll see what this trainer guy comes back with and go from there again

I have enrolled on a course for nutrition and fitness so hey maybe i will learn something and won't have to rely on a personal trainer and know what i'm going is right.

Thanks for your words m2m, i'm gonna go to bed and wake up with the proper attitude tomorrow. Get out of the bed on the right side as they say.

every person is going ot have a different opinion on what's right - you have to do what's right for you -

i'm really sorry you're feeling like this - but as M said - look how far you've come - that certainly isn't crap...

1. You will hear every trainer hear say that you cannot bulk up whatsoever if you really are in a deficit with your consumed calories. So, I don't think you ought to worry about that. What exactly are you doing anyway?

2. In nearly every profession, I think you'll find that it is very common for one professional to highly dislike the work of another, even though both their ideas would work.

Monday:
Cross Trainer - 20 mins
Stepper - 15 mins
Exercise bike - 10 mins
Leg press, 4 sets of 20 reps
Squats, 1 set of 20 reps
Lunges, 1 set of 20 reps
Hip extension, 2 sets of 20 reps

Tuesday:
Threadmill - 20 mins
Rowing Machine - 15 mins
Exercise Bike - 10 mins
Lat pull down, 4 sets of 20 reps
1 arm dumbell rows, 3 sets of 20 reps
Bend over rowing, 3 sets of 20 reps
Hyperextension, 3 sets of 10 reps
Abbs with roller, 5 sets of 10 reps

Thursday
Cross Trainer - 20 mins
Rowing Machine - 15 mins
Exercise Bike - 10 mins
Bench Press, 4 sets of 20 reps
Pec Dec, 3 sets of 15 reps (this one just about kills me)
Tricep Push down, (with rope), 4 sets of 20 reps
1 arm french press, 3 sets of 20 reps

Friday
Exercise Bike - 15 mins
Cross Trainer - 15 mins
Threadmill - 15 mins
Barbell Curl, 4 sets of 15 reps
Cable Curn, 3 sets of 20 reps
Front Pressing, 3 sets of 15 reps
Abbs with roller, 5 sets of 10 reps.

I'm not good with words but here....have a Kaitie hug---they're really good.

*super squishy hug*

your program looks like you're working your butt off -but reading what some our local experts have to say - i would ask if you were over-cardioing - or perhaps over weight lifting -maybe do weight lifting one day and cardio the other day...

but then again - i'm no expert - i just encourage you...

you might want to run your plan thru the "harsh truth" section and see what they have to say..

Thanks Kaitie, Thanks Maleficent

I might put it in the harsh truth place too thanks for the suggestion. I work 6 days a week shift work so i dunno if i can spread it over more days.

They might be able to offer a suggestion for ways of training smarter, not longer or harder

Best of luck!